Sleep solutions for a 10-week old?

[monopod]

*Hugs* to you Helen - I'm hoping that we will both be successful in the very near future with getting both our little ones and ourselves sorted out and happy!

My DH is really hands-on, bless him - I'm really thankful for his help as I would probably go completely doolally without it! I know what you mean about the difficulty with just chilling and observing... I am normally quite chilled out but ever since having become a mum my inner neurotic goddess has been having a field day! As if I wasn't worried about enough things, now I'm starting to get concerned that by his spending so much of his day swaddled his development is going to be affected

marensmama - thanks  I think I understand the routine a little bit better now - really useful to know about the 3 long naps + 1 catnap (not to mention the reassurance about the dummy! We haven't yet needed to use it in the middle of the night apart from at around 5am when he's woken for a feed and then gets too cheery to go back to sleep) I assume that if your day starts a little later or earlier, that you just adjust accordingly based on a 12-hr day? Ethan (my LO!) and I started our day at 0840 today and also finished it round about the same time - he solved my dilemma by waking up himself at 2010, so slept about 50 mins - good catnap timing! So I fed him, checked his nappy and put him straight to bed half-asleep at about 2040, and he's been asleep since. I'm going to try a dreamfeed in a little bit, and then it's off to dreamland myself.

Thanks again so very much

[monopod]

Here's a morning update:

Well, last night didn't go so well - we successfully managed a dreamfeed at 2240, at which I gave him 2oz of EBM, but he was then up at 0140, 0320 and 0520 (we had been making it through from 2230 to 0500). I only fed him at the 0320 wakeup as he didn't seem hungry at 0140, and true enough he settled without a feed. We used a combination of shh-pat and dummy to resettle him at the other NWs. This morning he was up at 7, bright-eyed and cheery, but started getting really cranky by 0805. We got him down for his first morning nap by 0840 - it took 30 mins, two pickings-up and several dummy episodes, but he's now been asleep for an hour and I'll be waking him in about another half-hour for his next feed.

Thinking about last night's multiple NWs, he normally wakes about 5-6 hours after he's been put to bed for the night, and then we usually get one 3h or 2h interval afterward before we're up for the morning. So actually his 0140 waking would be spot on for his 0840 bedtime last night.

Well, Rome wasn't built in a day! I guess it's going to be at least a week before we get some concrete and lasting improvement. I'm going to try giving 3oz at tonight's dreamfeed as he drained the bottle last night, and we'll see what happens.

[*Helen*]

Morning! I have found the rare days when I have got naps sorted the night has been all off! I suppose the next day requires extra effort on the nap front to try and regain a balance??? (I've never managed it yet lol)

Well Henry had a 45min nap with me holding him down this am!!!! *does one woman mexican wave* and he's just woken up from a second, he's done all on his own! Gold star for Henry!

Don't know if it will help but I was going to buy a white noise cd, but being a tightwad I found a website called colic-baby-bootcamp.com where if you sign up to their newsletter you get a free 2min download, (that I have burned onto disc and will play on repeat) hopefully it will work!

Hope your day goes well! sending your l/o lots of sleepy vibes.

[monopod]

Hi Helen! So glad to hear that Henry's naps yesterday were better - how did the rest of the day go?? I do have a white noise CD which I've decided to play each night as part of his bedtime routine, but good tightwad tip 

Yesterday as I mentioned in my last post we started our day at 7, and his naps during the day were 1h 20mins, 1h 20 mins (in sling as I was out), 1h (he woke when being transferred from his sling to the car seat and then we couldn't get him back to sleep), and then he catnapped for about 30-45 mins before I gave him his last feed just after 1800 (with a little top-up after his nappy change as he hadn't eaten much - he guzzled for another 11 mins so he was clearly still hungry!). He was asleep by 1950 but woke half an hour crying - used shh-pat successfully to get him back to dreamland

We managed the dreamfeed again - yay! and he took 3oz this time.

Then he was up this morning at 0240, so back to a familiar waking time - wahey progress! - after a feed and nappy change went back to sleep somewhere between 0330 and 0400 (not sure exactly as I left him to fall asleep independently).

This morning he woke at 0620 - a little too early for me to start our day! so I fed him and tried to get him back to bed, but he wasn't having any of it and he was also distracted by trying to poop  He only fell asleep at around 0805/0810, and then woke 20-30 mins later. Fed him again to try and start the day properly, and he ate for nearly 25 mins. Started wind-down straight after (he was already semi-asleep, though he woke fully a short while later in his cot) and he's (fingers crossed) dropped off properly now at 0925. Hopefully this nap will be a good long one!

I feel a search coming on for information on when to treat the day as having started 

Here are lots of lovely textbook sleepy vibes coming your way too 

[*Helen*]

Oooh good naps yesterday well done!

Well my jubilation yesterday was a little premature...we ended up having only 30mins between around 2.00pm and sometime after 7pm, but he did have a good night, and so today I decided to dedicate my day to naps, so we have spent thewhole day upstairs, so no chance for o/s and we got a good am nap, he went down after 45 mins of waking and did the usual 30mins with my hand hovering to catch every jolt, then he had another hour in my arms.

He woke up yawning, yawned through his feed and nappy change and was back in bed and flat out withing 1/2hr of waking. He then did just under 2hrs in his cot, the first hour I stayed with him then I escaped for the second. lol.

He woke up looking like he'd had a boys weekend in Dublin and again was in bed in 1/2 hour of waking, he had 45mins on his own then 20mins A time when he woke, then 45mins on my chest with a sheet over his eyes (fussy thing) then he fed had a wash on the bed instead of a bath, piddled right over the pampers mat and onto the floor *doh* and fell asleep about 45mins later!!!

The best day in ages! far from perfect but at least he's had more than his usual 2hrs in 10. He's going to have to have 2 dreamfeeds again tonight as the catnap has merged into bedtime, but that's no big deal.

Phew, I have callouses on my fingers from typing now! 

[*Nicola*]

Helen ... just reading up ... great day

[monopod]

Ooh fantastic news Helen! SO pleased at the very positive developments!

Day 4 of trying to institute a proper 12h routine and we're slowly making headway, but as anticipated it's a bit of 'two steps forward, one step back'... (i.e. either a good day or a good night, etc.) but am remaining positive and will persevere! Yesterday we had quite a lot of difficulty with his naps (45mins, 35mins, 30mins max. but not continuous, and then as a last resort DH and I went for a walk with him in his sling so he could get a little bit of shuteye - poor chap was so OT and cranky, but did manage a 30-40min catnap). He was fast asleep by 2015, we did another successful dreamfeed (3.5oz this time and could have drunk more - ooer, better get pumping), and he woke just after 0300, then just before 0600, with us starting our day proper just before 0700.

He's had problems napping again today as we had to go out and I think he was OS, and he only managed 15mins in the morning, then two 30min sessions, and he's just conked out now - will keep fingers crossed for 1h30mins!

More good sleepy vibes to you hon

[*Helen*]

Aw bless him, hope he had a nice long one this afternoon. 

We've had a decent afternoon after a lousy morning, I'm no where near back to my 12hr routine yet  I'm dreading starting the school run again, especially as Henry has developed a pathalogical hatred of his pushchair, and he'll have to take 2 of his naps during these times, ahh happy days.

Have a good night! 

[*Nicola*]

monopod ... if your LO is up at 6am and won't settle back down after a feed I would start the day then and aim for a 6pm bedtime.  Just try to roll with it.  I think that by 'starting the day proper' at 7am he is prob verging on OT by the time you go to put him down for first nap, kwim?  Getting that first nap right can be crucial for the rest of the day

I seen your post on NW's but wanted to check out this post first (for background ) I will pop back online later to reply in NW's

((hugs)) to you both x

ETA: Heather beat me to it on the NW post ... but says pretty much same as i do

[monopod]

Thanks Nicola, I will pop over to my other post now!

[monopod]

Hi Helen hope you are having a reasonably good day today! I'm feeling quite positive at the moment Last night he woke up before his dreamfeed and I was worried that it would throw him off completely at night and today but as it turns out he slept pretty well, we started our day at 6.30 and he has *put himself to sleep quite independently* for both his naps so far today

I really sympathise with the school run issue! I'm very conscious that going out with Ethan does throw him off course too. Have you tried slinging if Henry doesn't like his pushchair? Ethan seems to like his sling quite a lot and will often fall asleep within 5 minutes of being put in it... useful tool to have in the arsenal when we are having sleeping problems and I desperately need him to fall asleep!

[*Helen*]

Hi! So pleased things are going well for you  confidence is half the battle I think.

We aren't having a great day, Henry hasn't been feeding well, 2-3oz every 2hrs??? and lots of crying, I'm not sure if he's unwell or just having one of those days, he's gone from constipated to wet poop aswell 

He keeps shouting at inanimate objects like they are really making him cross.

On monday night he slept from 7pm until 6am  unfortunatly it didn't last I was up 4 times with him last night, but at least it gave me a good catch up 

Re the sling, I bought one before he was born, (wanted to be all earth mama) but he absolutley hates it! (the only baby in the world) so i've ordered a baby bjorn instead. If he doesn't like that i'll be taking it out of his pocket money when he's older 

The pushchair problem is a little better, he was in a travel system with the car seat, i've moved him into the big boy pushchair instead, and he's been a bit better.

xxx

[monopod]

Hi Helen,

It looks like it's lots of ups and downs for both of us at the moment! Yesterday after a really good start it all went completely to pot - can't remember such a bad day in eons and still not sure whether I did something wrong 

Ethan had a really good first nap yesterday - put himself to sleep independently and slept for nearly 2h! Then he put himself to sleep independently for his second nap - and woke up after 30 mins. And it was ALL downhill from there. It was hours and hours of trying to get him to sleep the entire day; even walking around with him and the sling didn't do the trick By the time 6pm rolled around he'd basically been awake since 11.30am (he got maybe a total of 15-30mins sleep in little bits?) Finally got him to sleep at 8pm - and then he was up at 8.45. Managed to get him to drop off again, but then woke up hungry, so I fed him and he was finally in bed for the night at 10.30pm

Night was the same as it's been - one NW at around 3am, and then he woke today at 6.15am. I'm still trying to get him to go down for his first nap now

[*Helen*]

(((Huge Hugs))) hope he's gone to sleep for you 

I'm sure you did nothing wrong! I'd become really obbsessed about it all (as you know as you've lived it with me  ) and any bad days were like the end of the world, my dh did a very unflattering impression of me and my rollercoaster emotions the other night, It was funny,embarassing and also a bit of a wake up call.

So when Henry has woken up early from his naps the past couple of days I've really tried to go with it a bit, and if he's crabby and I have to hold him then sneak him into his cot when he's asleep so be it. He finds it much easier to be able to fall asleep independantly for the next nap if he's well rested, and I know he prefers to be in bed, it's just sometimes he can't manage it.

I've also had the 6-7hour stretches of him being unable to sleep or stay asleep and you feel useless I know, I don't know if it will help you, but I have just got into my bed (you'll have to use your own  ) with Henry and had lots of skin to skin and just spent the afternoon there for feeds changes and any sleep he could manage. I think it helped because it stopped him becoming o/s by coming in and out and trying lots of different things to soothe him.

He falls asleep for bed like clockwork at 6.45pm every night atm, regardless of whether i've planned an erlier night due to a 6am wake up and bad naps, I've extended his bedtime routine again now he's more rested and reintroduced the bath and it's working much better, I can just pop him down and leave him and he goes off on his own. I can't wait until he can do that in the daytime  and he will! and so will Ethan, because his Mummy is working her backside off for him and one day it will all pay off, there will always be bad days but they will become fewer and fewer.

I was thinking yesterday about how it doesn't seem five minutes ago that my daughter was Henry's age, she's nearly as tall as me now (thats not hard though) and she'll be 11 in October  and is a constant reminder of how time flies, so relax, don't blame yourself for a bad day, just think of all the great ones to come! Christmas (if you celebrate it) when they first understand Santa and the 6 months of excitement before thier birthday, first time at the beach etc....think of all of those great days to come and the bad ones will pass a little bit easier.

xxx

Oh I saw a friend in town today with her brand new l/o 6lbs at birth and 2 weeks later going 4hrs between feeds  . don't you just love bumping into people like that! lol.

[monopod]

Oh bless you for that lovely post Helen - it made me smile, thank you! I am generally a positive person but it does get you down when all you do isn't helping your overtired little one rest, or you simply can't figure out why they're crying, doesn't it... sometimes all we need is a good dollop of perspective and an active sense of humour

Today has been a different set of challenges - although he's managed to get some pretty decent sleep, they've been punctuated by fretful wakings, and he's also been incredibly clingy - won't let me put him down (gyroscope baby... today he's been like one of those dollies with the eyes that open when they're upright and close when they're laid down, except vice versa) so we've been repeatedly going through the picking up/putting down when calm/picking up again/etc. until he inevitably falls asleep within seconds of the nth pickup! But today I have also discovered that stroking his head helps him fall asleep, so look, another tool in my arsenal

You know, come to think of it, he actually made it all better at his last nappy change of the day on Tuesday (which for some inexplicable reason he absolutely loves now, from utterly hating it in his early weeks), when he laughed properly for the first time - not just a happy gurgle but actually a hahaha 

So just like you I'm going to try and relax and go with the flow - tomorrow is always a new (and hopefully better) day! Here's a hug for you too and fingers crossed for more good days with Henry

(P/S: In an effort not to get him OS which he seems to become so easily, Ethan has been living exclusively in our bedroom for the past week and a bit - he's only seen stuff beyond these four walls on the infrequent occasions when we've had to go out! And all our awake time has been very very low key with no noise, dimmed lights, etc. too)