Help me i think im failing.......................

[stinkystonk]

I'm nervous about posting as never started one on my own before but in need of help and the others on my birth club told me to come here.....

I have a dd who is 6 months today, was a week prem when born and a low birth weight. I bf until i couldn't at 8 weeks and i reluctantly put her onto fm....she has caught up now weighing a respectable 14lbs 5onz. During the first 3/4 months she slept allot....was doing 7pm/7am by 12 weeks and no wake ups just df at 2230.  We then hit 5 months and it went south...she started the nws and ews which i have to say being so spoilt at the beginning left my husband and i a little like..what the??     FYI first baby.......

Anyway she has stopped nws now but is still with the ew and difficult naps...fyi she has been teething since 12 weeks, had two tips on bottom appear at 19 weeks and it feels as though it hasn't stopped since.

We have followed the EASY routine since she was 3 weeks and transitioned to 4 hr EASY at 5 months after trying to do so for an age and not getting very far...she did it on her own in the end.  I keep records of all her feeding times, amounts taken, sleep times activity times and have done so since we started....its helped me see where we may have gone wrong in the past but this time coming up blank....

Our routine is a fluid concept so here are the last couple of days for ref...:

1/08/08                  2/08/08                    03/08/08             04/08/08                       05/08/08
A 600am                 A 545                       A 600                  A 600                           A 515
E 630                     E 630                       E 630                   E 630                           E 630
S 740                     S 745                       S 800                  S 810                           S 725 
A 830 - sh/pt          A 9-10 SH/PT             A 845 SH/PT         A 845 - 930 SH/PT          A 805.......Seeing if she will put herself back..
S 845                     S 930                       E 1030                 A1020
E 1030                   E 1030                       S 1115                E 1045
S 1130                   A 1130                      A 1335                 S 1220
A 1300                   S 1230                       E 1430                A 1325 - 1430 SH/PT
E 1430                   A 1300                       S1530                  E 1430
S 1530                   E 1430                       A 1610                 S1510
A 1600                   S 1510                       E 1800                 A 1545
E 1800                    A1540                       S 1830                 E 1800
S 1825                   E 1825                       DF 2245                S 1830
DF 2245                  S 1850                                                 DF 2245
                             DF 2250

22 ONZ                 20.5 ONZ                      20.5 ONZ              31 ONZ Plus 2 tsp homemade Baby Rice 


I'm sorry its long winded but feel that as much information i can give you may hep you see what we are doing wrong as we are at a loss....not even sure there is a problem if she is still sttn....help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your time and Patience

Chris 

[stinkystonk]

Well she didnt settle and i ended up sh/pt for 45 mins...she went back at 855 (still sh/pt until 915) and woke up talking at 925.....what did i do wrong???  Should i be making her go back? 

Im very lost and in need of a slap i think!!!

Im leaving her to talk and will get her up at 1000 if she hasnt screamed the place down by then...

[stinkystonk]

Update...

got her up at 1000 - was just babbling for 30mins before. ...played on mat till 1030 fed her and she took 8onz in one sitting...plus 2 tsp of baby rice....I'm now thinking to complicate things she is going through a growth spurt but wont know till tomorrow i guess..

Put her down at 1125, asleep 1130 woke crying at 1155   I waited to see if she would go back on her own (used to before...) didn't so went in and sh/pt till 1225....she fell asleep at 1205....

Still there but dont know how long for.....

thanks Chris x

[scorpionbec]

Hi there
Not sure if I can be of much help.  I was looking at your EASY routine and it looks like the Activity times are just not long enough and she is not ready for sleep yet.  Is there any reason that the E and A are round the other way she could be ready for activity after a feed.  I know that after I have eaten I get so much energy.  My little boy is only 4 months but his routine is as follows
0600- EAT
0630- ACTIVITY
0830 - SLEEP
1000 - EAT
1030 - ACTIVITY
1230 - SLEEP
1400 - EAT
1430 - ACTIVITY
1630 - SLEEP
1730 - EAT
1800 - Bath, wind down
1830/1900 SLEEP
2230/2300 - DF

I am finding that he is wanting to push the Activity times longer still but I don't think that he is ready.  Being understimulated can work the same as being over stimulated.  Also I find with Malakai that he sleeps alot better if he has a full belly.  Maybe she is ready for bigger feeds, though I am not sure that this would be the case because her feeds are still 4 hours apart.  The activity and Sleep seems to be all wonky though.  I found that if he was waking before nap/sleep time should be over I would keep doing the shhh pat and encouraging sleep until sleep time is over and now he tries to put himself to sleep if he does wake up prem.  If he then screams out I know that he does not need the full time to sleep.  This very rarely happens though now that he is used to the routine.  Let me know what you think

[stinkystonk]

hi Rebbecca

Thanks for getting back to me - feel really relieved as wasn't sure if anyone would!! 

As for the whole EASY thing its well as you can see not so EASY - more like AESASAE ......we were following the EASy to a T then all of a sudden she wasn't.  I have tried to get the E and A round the right way...guess that's why I'm here to see if someone else has been through this and made it to the other side...   today has been particularly yucky and  since she went back down at 1130 i have gone up twice to sh/pat one taking 30mins and the other 30 mins later taking 40mins.....

as for the A time being too short - its the longest its ever been and i am following her cues to avoid the inevitable OT....i read on a post that 30mins sleep = OT and 45 mins sleep = UT....I'm Soooooooooooooooooooo confused!!

Have you always followed EASY?   We have since she was 3 weeks and I thought id cracked it...any more advice truly welcomed...just not sure what I'm doing wrong!

Thanks for the advice....

[scorpionbec]

Hey there
That is no problem getting back to you.  It is so easy to get off track with the EASY it only takes the smallest things to alter sleep especially.  Malakai is a textbook baby and this applies to everything.  His routine runs to the seconds not minutes.  So if I miss cues or jump on early cues then we have a battle on our hands.  Thats great for us because I can predict what he needs most of the time.  EG.  There are 3 stages I find to his getting tired phase.  Stage one He starts with short bursts like a scream but not  If I put him down for a nap now I have no hope he is not really ready he is just saying that he wants less to be happening so he can wind down.  If he does sleep it is usually approx 30 min  Stage 2 he rubs his eyes.  If I put him down for a nap/sleep now he will put himself to sleep and sleep until I wake him up.  Stage 3.  He is yawning.  If he makes it to this stage he is overtired  and again approx 30 min is all I will get from him.  The time between the stages varies depending on what how active his A time was.  It can be 5 min from stage 1 to 3 but it can also be like 20 min.  As for the OT UT times - I'm not sure about that because Malakai will sleep approx 30 min under both situations.  I guess you just learn your child and how they respond under different circumstances.
We have followed EASY since about 2 months old so for 2 months now we have been on 3, 3.5 and now 4 hour EASY.  Growth spurts do effect but I find at night more so.  Naps are not usually affected with us. 
Maybe the teething is effecting her.  Did you say that she was teething also.  Apparently babies temperatures rise when the teething may be effecting them, so that might be something that you could try.  I would be saying cues and teething are the most likely.

[stinkystonk]

Ok the routine for today looked something like this...

A 515
E 630
S 725
woke at 805, sh/pat till 910
S 855
A 925 - talked till 1000
E 1030
S 1130
woke 1155 sh/pat till 1225
S 1205
Woke at 1240 sh/pat 1250 till 1330
S 1310
A 1355 talking
E 1430
A 1450
S 1610
Woke at 1620 - sh/pat for 1hour - no sleep.......
A 1700 / wash etc
E 1800 feed
S 1845 - grizzly...

Any advice truly welcomed......she is put down when she starts to show her signs, i do wind down and quiet play  all to help with the process and she goes down without a fight...just wakes quickly the last few days and no idea why.

Chris 

[meltown]

What type of baby do you have

[stinkystonk]

I would say she is "Angel"...

[meltown]

that first A time is maybe a bit long.  I woudl try shortening it just a bit and see how that goes first off then we can tweek the other ones according to that.

[stinkystonk]

Hi Meltown,

Got your post just - thanks for the responce... it went a little like this this am...

woke at 5ish sh/pt until 610 - she slept until 650....
E 700
A 745 started her tiered cues around 815...rubbing eyes etc put down by 825
S 830

Hope this works.....will keep you posted,

lol Chris x

[meltown]

sounds great so far.  let me know how it goes.

[stinkystonk]

Hey,

its been better today...bit scary there for a while but i think we may have made it......

E 700
A 745
S 830
woke at 945 talked in cot till 1020...was waiting to see as she wasnt crying if she would go back on her own...i know one step at a time!!
A 1020
E 1100
S 1150
Woke 1220, Sh/Pat from 1225 - 1315
S 1300
A 1445
E 1500
S 1615
A 1700

Hoping she can make it for a bath.....not sure what you think but i guess we will see what time she gets up in the morning!!  However my back is not speaking to me and im not sure how much sh/pt i can do before i get an injury!!

Hope the swaddle is going well for you, missed on the boards!!!

[meltown]

I think your LO is on the small side for A times.  still within a good range, but I think less is a little better for her.  so far the day looks good let me know how the evening and night go.

[stinkystonk]

Hi Meltown,

Today is not so good and its getting worse all because i didn't get to her in time this am .... are we sitting comfortably?

Woke at 4am...babbled for 5 mins then silence...assuming she was asleep my sleep took over (she used to do this occasionally and put herself back until 7.)......next heard at 610 by hubby...based on how things have turned out today i am not sure how long she went back for or if indeed she did go back...AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!

E 630
A 650
S 800 - put down when she showed signs of tiered at 730...took her 30mins of her usual sleep orientated babble.
Woke at 830 on the button...predictable or what...i sh/pt from 830 till 930 she fell as sleep at 910
S 910
A 1000

E 1030
A 1050
S 1145 - put down at 1130 when showed signs of tiered....
Woke at 1215 sh/pt till 1255 asleep by 1230
S 1230
A 1345

E 1430
A 1445
Put down when showed signs of tiered at 1510....decided to shuffle round the cot and try to roll over while rubbing her eyes and ears...left 5 mins to see if she would settle...then back in and sh/pt from 1515 till 1530...jumping in her sleep

A 1545 - tried to sh/pt but was having none of it and it is supposed to only be 30 to 45 mins anyway...confused i am!!  Wasn't sure what to do for the best....

Will aim to put her to bed by 1800 ish...no bath just change, wash and feed.....i think its clear i screwed up this am and am now paying for it....after yesterday i thought we had done so well...one thing at a time i guess   Not sure what your thoughts are - will keep you posted but expecting to be up very early again and to make it all worse i have a dentist appointment at 945am tomorrow which means all the sleep training I'm trying to do will be squished when she sleeps in the car (which she is happy to do!!)....not sure what else i can do have to go but feeling guilty as i dont want to confuse her...(how neurotic do i sound ....but i cant help how i feel confidence right out of the window!)

Hope your ok and that i that waffled too much - just think the more info you have the better....oh it was good to see you on the boards...hope the Drs went ok....

lol Chris