Frog Marched Back to bed AGAIN...any suggestions?

[Mummy of Hope & Lillie]

Hi

Our DD#1 (2.5yrs) has just gone into her big bed as DD#2 now sleeps in cot....any suggestions for how to KEEP her in bed?? DH usually does the bedtime routine with her while I do DD#2 (4.5 months old) she is not having any tantrums but will get out of bed around every couple of minutes for up to an hr or more.

I have read that threats (I will take X away if you don't) or (if you don't you won't get to do Y tomorrow) don't work...also DH has used these before with no success. We have also tried just not talking to her and gently moving her back into bed but she still prevails. If we close her door then she just sits and knocks at it or calls out....we obviously don't want DD#2 sleep distrubed either....

Any tips or can you point me to a relevent thread that may help us....

Oh she doesn't get out during the night once asleep that's it thank goodness!!

Thanks 

[rinajack]

Have you tried just asking and explaining?

I can now say to my DD (2 yrs 4 months), I don't care if you go to sleep or not, but Daddy and Mummy need to do xxx (could be cleaning, could be just some quiet special mummy and daddy time, whatever) so we need you to stay in your bed.  Would you like some books to read in your bed, or are you going to go to sleep now?

Usual answer is books please, and we simply remove these after she goes to sleep.

[Johanne]

i started off by doing the same as rinajack - small toys or books - and normally we ask DS2 (2 yrs and 1 month now!) what he wants to take up with him (it might be some cars or a train or whatever). We also had a routined of tucking hima nd his teddies into bed and saying "Is mummy going to sleep now? is daddy? Then all family members and his in bed toys - monkey, boris and catty and finally "re you going to bed now?" to which he hopefully says yes. Also I single Twinkle twinkle andf he usually dozes off mid that. Walking in and out, popping my head round the door, saying "i am going to the loo and will come ba k afterwards" and then just popping my head round the door after that(there is a stairgate over it) and telling him to lie back down in a soft voice if he is sitting up, sitting in my bedroom with the baby monitor and when he moves popping my head round and telling him to lie down.....

Ok that all sounds a lot but it does work and you don't have to do it all at once.

THE ABSOLUTE major thing though was cutting out the afternoon nap (which was the only nap he had) at just before aged 2 - until we did that he was still awake at 10 pm soem nights. Now we find he will go to bed at 7 on a non-nap day and if he does fall asleep in the afternoon eg in buggy / car / on the sofa he will generally still go to sleep at 8pm


PS cutting out the nap initially meant some dozing off during tea but after a couple of weeks he was fine at we did a 6pm bedtime if necessary.
Hope that helps!

Jo

[Mummy of Hope & Lillie]

Hi Johanne & Rinajack

Thanks for your advice and we have done a few of the things you suggested over the last couple of weeks, explaining to her why we need her to go to bed, offering her something (she has a collection of cuddly toys in her bed as she always used to play quietly with them upon waking or before going to sleep when they were in her cot). We have also tried the frequent popping in and out of the room! This evening I lost my temper a bit and had to get DH to take over before i snapped at her...he apparently told her that was really cross to which she responded "but your really happy daddy"! Anyway she hasn't come back out again so that worked but not in anyway ideal!

She does still have her day nap and I guess I'm being slightly selfish still putting her down for it (as I have a baby DD#2) but she also seems to really need it still but perhaps need to look at that.

Thanks for taking the time to respond

Mel

Oh just a thought do either of your LO's have a night light or similar? Hope doesn't but she wants us to keep the door open so she has the hall light which we leave on. She has always just had that shard of light as we wanted her to be able to sleep in the dark.

[rinajack]

What is her current sleep schedule? My DD wakes around 6:30, usually naps around 1 for an hour, then doesn't fall asleep til 8:30/9pm (we do bedtime at 7:30/8).  She is starting to resist the nap, so today we let her go without it, and will leave her room from putting her to bed at 7 (that is the aim).

Another thing that we do, which gets her relaxing in the first place, and also helped to start the reading to herself habit, is we read to both kids, then leave her to read alone while we go put our baby to bed (well I do LOL) and then we return for the big girl story.  Before we leave we talk about the big girl story, and that she needs to wait until we return to read it, and she usually winds down well before we return, then we read that story then leave.

We used to always have our DD in pitch black (spirited) but now she has both a night light AND the door open, so heaps of light.  We have a night light on in the house when we go to bed too, in case she wants to wander in to us.  The light does not prevent her sleeping, and makes reading in bed before she falls asleep more comfortable for her.