Embarrasing Question...

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

 

Well first I will say that I already feel a bit better reading some of your posts in the activity for 0-3 months section...but I just spent the last 10 minutes crying because I feel like my LO (8weeks) hates playing with me.

Until BW - I didn't realize how much sleep my LO needed. So she doesn't really have lots of A time. Just enough for a diaper change, some kisses and well that is about it. But sometimes we do have about 10 minutes. I usually try to sing or make funny faces at her. She likes when I sing...but gets really cranky if I try to put her on my lap and just play with her. I feel like - she doesn't like when I hold her or the way I try to play with her.

However, her grandparents can hold her and she has no problem. With me she gets so fussy and she cries like it is time for bed...and with my father (yesterday) he tickled her and held her for like 20 minutes (so long for her) and she gave him these two great big smiles. She stop smiling for me two weeks ago when I put her on BW and she started sleeping a lot more....I just figured there simply wasn't enough A time to smile! (she didn't sleep before because I didn't know she needed to...which is why she was cranky all the time). Now she has the sleep she needs and I don't make her extend A time if she needs to nap...but I still feel like when she is awake - she hates to play with me. It makes me feel terrible. She likes her mat/gym and when I sing...but for some reason...I can't hold her. My dad can, my mom can, my dh's mom can...for extended periods as well. But after two minutes in my lap...she is miserable.

am I doing something wrong? sometimes I just want to hug her and kiss her. I really feel sad about it....anyone? 

[Sarahlolly]

Are you breastfeeding?

My gut reaction would be that you smell of her milk!  And thats a good thing for a baby!  Perhaps she's just being a greedy little monkey and wanting more milk!  And of course, no-one else has that mummy milk smell like you do!

DD used to do this with me and only me because of this.  At that age she couldn't really tolerate much A time at all and was a great sleeper - sleep for 4 hours, up for milk and a change, sleep for 4 hours etc!

She was also very interested in faces she didn't see all the time!  However as her A time grew so did her ability to play with me and she loved it!

I'm sure your little one will be exactly the same!  Sounds like you are a great mummy!

Sarah x

[Missy Lou]

i don't really know, BUT my DD always has her breakdowns with me.  she's 2.5 and it's always been like that.  anytime she is feeling the least bit tired, hungry, frustrated, whatever, the meltdown happens only with me.  like she will be perfectly fine, then see me and just break down.  she also may just feel content with you since (it sounds like) you're her main caregiver, so after a few minutes of cuddle time with you, she's fine and wants some space.  

my DD gets tired of me squeezing on her and kissing her.   now that she's older, she can push me away.  oh well.  she still gets the squeezes from me.  i know you just want to cuddle her.  it's not personal and you're not doing anything wrong.  

it quite possibly with your dad, she just had someone new or different to play with for a bit.  the pro and con about being the mom is that she turns to you for comfort.  but since you're always there, they don't feel the need to constantly be close to you sometimes.  

i assume that you try holding her in different ways?  do you hold her like your inlaws or parents do?  it may be a comfort thing also.  

i promise she does not hate playing with you.  something i always did with my DD when she was a newborn and didn't have much A time, was walk with her outside.  outside is fun and different but not overstimulating.

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

Thanks Sarahlolly. I did consider the milk thing... and I think she does enjoy new faces. I know I am being silly really and I should just be happy that she sleeps so well. I guess I was just a bit jealous that my dad got like 20 smiling minutes with her and I get none. I also just found out that time of day makes a big difference. He played with her at 3 in the afternoon. I tried at 10 this morning and I should know better. Based on her last two weeks...she pretty much goes right back to bed after her first two cycles in the morning. Thanks a lot for the message. It makes me feel better to hear other people's stories. I printed those black and white pictures for my girl and I hope she likes them. Thanks again!

[*Nicola*]

My first thought was the BFing one too.  Ciara was a bit like this and she was a milk monster.

((hugs)) to you x

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

Missy Lou  
 
I think that all of your thoughts make sense. I do love our walks outside. It is the time when I hold her that is the problem. She probably just wants some space to explore. I am being sensitive probably...I know she loves me...I guess I like every human wants some reciprocation which as a baby she really can't do at the moment.

Thanks!

[Missy Lou]

i know what you're saying.  DD hurts my feelings too sometimes.  her newest thing is saying "get away mommy".   

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

AWWWWWW......I feel bad about every single time I sassed my mom now that I am a mom.  I always call her and tell her how much I love her and I am sorry about when I was 13 years old and I was a brat. Thanks again for the help. I know that I am going to have to endure lots of situations where I feel unappreciated....but the great moments overshadow all the tough ones. right?

 

[Zoey]

I wanna give you a hug!  *HUG*

I think even at her tiny age, she knows Mumma will love her regardless - happy, sad, cranky, gassy, smiling, pooping, peeing - whatever.  She sees you everyday all day, she doesn't see your Dad - he is a new face. 

Times of day were an issue here.  We did things in the PMs cause the mornings were heck! 

Also, sometimes I think sometimes they just want to have those 5-10m to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling and veg out a bit.  It's hard work growing and changing as fast as she is right now! 

Lastly, these babies grew inside us for a long time, they were connected to us, essentially part of us.  It is only natural that they are very in tune to us and our emotions.  Perhaps she is picking up on your feelings and mirroring them back to you?  Owen reacts tremendously to me and my feelings toward him.  If I'm worried about something like eating, he does the exact opposite lol - like continues to not want to eat!  If I let go of it a bit, he does too.

Anyhow,  this is all very normal and natural.  It won't be like this forever I promise   You're a great Mumma and doing everything perfectly. 

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

I think you are right Zoey. I try to not be tense with her so she doesn't get that way...

I know she is going to start showing me back that she loves me ....I guess I was just being sensitive. She is much happier when I just lay her on the floor. No toys - no play mat....just lay there and look out the window. I printed some black and white pictures for her and she seems to really like them.

I forget how young she is. People are always asking what she does....and I am like "she sleeps!" Most of these people though don't realize what milestones babies this age are supposed to have. They just lump "baby" into one big category. I just have to relax.

Thanks again ladies... =)

[We Three]

Hi Jessica....I couldn't read this and not post a hug for you!!!  You are doing such a good job...it's easy to see that you're a contientious and loving Mother.  The rewards are so small at this age....but they're going to start getting bigger very soon!!! Promise.  You guys are still getting to know each other....

And I had to laugh at the black & white picture comment. I printed those out when my baby was about 3 weeks old...Oh Dear Lord I swear we could have gone out to dinner and she would have been fine staring at those!!!  We had the smiley face one (which we called "Smiley"...so original      and the one that looks like piano keys, which we called Beethoven) Both are in her memory box now...so funny!!!

[waffler]

Oh don't worry, I'm sure things will get better with your daughter. As for her laughing when your dad held her, well, perhaps she really just finds his face Funny! You know how some silly faces work for some kids and others just look at you like you're a dork?

If she likes lying on her back then just let her. Stay close sing, maybe start baby massage - gently - and she'll get used to touch etc again? And she knows mummy will always be there for her! You will have so much time to play with her and she'll be wanting to cuddle you for hours on end when she gets older, so big hugs, and hang in there x

[Sarahlolly]

Oh yes, great idea about the massage - I always got so many smiles during mummy and baby massage time!

Sarah x

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

Amelia1227  - thanks for the hugs! I needed those. It is funny because since I have written she has gotten a lot more smiley. Two for her dad last night and a bunch for grandma this morning. I put up about 5 of those black and white pictures near her changing table...and before her nap....my mother changed her....she looked at the pictures and smiled like three times! Unbelievable!

Waffler - thanks for the comments about the massage. I have been meaning to take a baby massage class which I think will really help. She won't really sit still very long right now but if I persist she will probably start to enjoy it. You know - she smiles for all the people that only have to play with her. I am also the one on the business end (diapers, yucky medicine, naps) so sometimes I am just not funny probably. anyway - i think massage is a good call!

Thanks everyone!