10 month old refusing pm nap and then NW all night

[Julie C]

For a few days now our LO (who was finally just beginning to STTN) has started to fight her pm nap. I mean really FIGHT. As someone already suggested, we've been trying not letting the fight get past the 45 min mark. If she's still awake, we go do something quiet and then try again later. This worked once. Today and yesterday, though, she fought and fought until it was finally 6pm when she crashed.

Last night she woke every 1/2 hour; I ended up sleeping with her.

Tonight it is 12am and I think it's all catching up to her. She woke at 7:30, again at 8 and again at 9. All 3 times it was nearly impossible to get her back to sleep. Then she woke at 9:45 and has been having a complete meltdown ever since. DH is in her room and even though he is rocking her, she is still freaking out. (Although not as loudly as 2 hours ago)

Please help. I'm just praying someone is online right now.

Here is our normal EASY:

7am -bottle
8am - breakfast
10am- nap (1 - 1.5 hours usually)
11:30 -- bottle
12:30 -- lunch
2:00-- nap (attempt) -- she used to sleep 1.5 hours here
4:00 bottle
6:00 - supper
7:00 -betime routine; asleep by 7:30-7:45 usually

[Julie C]

I should add that we have tried Motrin, taken her temp, and made her bed more cushiony. It's clearlly OT, but I have no idea how to help her.

[*Nicola*]

Oh (((hugs)))

Sounds like she is going thru the 2-1 transition and sleep needs are changing.

Most people either

1) let her sleep as long as she wants in morning then take a later catnap (don't think that'll work for her thou)

2) limit morning nap to 45 mins/1 hour and then shoot for longer pm nap. 

Our DD is 9.5 months and we are limiting morning nap to 1 hr - have been for ages but are just about to move it to 50mins are we are starting to have NW again.

How did the night go?  I would keep today low key, esp the time between first nap and second nap and also keep the last A time short and low key to prevent OT and OS.

xx

[rinajack]

My first thought when I read your routine is that your 2nd A time was too short.  And then maybe she is fighting the pm nap because she isn't tired, but by the time you try again she is OT. 

So, you could try moving that to closer to 2:30/3...

Or, you can try limiting the first nap, and hope that that leaves her tired enough for a 2nd nap.

See how you go.  My DS moved to 1 nap at 9mo, back to 2 for a few weeks whilst away on holidays, and is very firmly on 1 nap now at 11 months. For me, even a 45 min nap pushed the PM nap so late that bedtime was VERY late, so we just tried him out on one nap, and it went fine. 

[Julie C]

Thanks for your help.

The night was horrible. I've never seen her so beside herself; she was even refusing her soother and flinging her head back violently at one point. DH ended up sleeping on the floor in her room. He said she finally slowed down to a whimper by 1am and then woke every hour, for him to stick his hand in the crib to comfort her. Ugh.

We're trying low-key activities today and a shorter am nap (although I wonder if she needs the extra sleep today???)

Part of the problem is that she's not letting anyone but me put her down for a nap these days. She even fights DH. Grandma said she tried for over an hour yesterday; she was exhausted. I know the lack of daytime sleep is the cause of the freak show at night, but what can DH and Grandma do if she absolutely refused to go to sleep ALL afternoon? I can't be with her every day for both her naps unfortunately.

[rinajack]

If she is missing this much night sleep, you may have to shorten A time for all A times til she catches up.  Have you ruled out teething/illness - try some panadol 1/2 before nap time....

Finally, if she is so OT that you just can't seem to win, you may need to do some stroller/car naps to help her catch up, because it can be a hard cycle to break.

[Julie C]

Well, today Lo was at Grandma's house (she goes there every Friday). I called and found out that she napped from 10am to 11am and then again from 2pm until 3pm. I'm sure on a "normal day" this would have been ok, but I suggested that she go to bed early to help catch up on her missed sleep from yesterday. Grandma replied "We'll see. She's in a good mood right now. She's riding the mop with Grandpa." (I could hea her laughing hysterically in the background.)

So much for low key. So much for catching up.

I think I need to post on another board regarding how to get "grandmas" to become BW!!!

I'm soooo nervous to have her back tomorrow!

[Julie C]

We have absolutely ruled out teething, illness and SA. The Motrin makes no difference, she seems happy and healthy in the day, and she hasn't shown any signs of SA during the day for about a month.

[rinajack]

Good luck.  Sounds like her day went well, be interesting to see how her night went.

[Julie C]

Well, she went to bed at 7:30 and woke 4 times throughout the night. Not bad, in comparison to the night before. (Remember, though, she slept at Grandma's)

Today she is home and her naps were at 10:15-11:10 and 2:10-3:30. She looked sleepy at 7pm, but it took .5 hours to get her to sleep. She woke at 9:30 and has been awake (and crying most of the time) ever since. It is now 10:30. Everytime I go into her room she goes back to sleep -- I don't even pick her up; the minute I leave, she wakes up and cries. I even tried staying in there for over 20 mins, but she still knew when I was gone.

Right now she is screaming her head off in anger because I've been out of her room for as long as it took me to type this (2 mins?)

HEEEELLLLLPPPP!!!

[rinajack]

SA does not have to be shown in the day for it to be an issue at night.  I feel like you are dealing here with SA.  My DD has had for a very long time SA that mostly only shows at night.

[Julie C]

Well, I hate to say it, but we resorted to a bit of CIO last night. DH convinced me, since we've been dealing with this on and off with DD since birth. We let her cry 5 mins, went in to put her down and make sure she had paci, then left even if she was crying. Over and over, until she finally went to sleep on her own.

Today we did the same for her first nap, and then for her second, she whimpered for only about a min, and then voila! We'll see how long this lasts now...