What is the point?

[corimorgan]

Can someone please remind me why I am doing all of this? Please tell me that when my lo is 2 years old that she will not be like my friends. My friend's toddler who is a product of an on demand household was screaming himself to sleep while I was there recently and I was reassured that this is a daily occurrence and not to worry... "we just give him his sippy cup and some toy cars and he eventually falls asleep".

Please tell me that not taking the easy road of using props and rocking my lo to sleep is worth it, that there is some end product of being a BW devotee that makes all of this hard work pay off. Please tell me there is a point to my notebook now full of A times and S times and everything in between is worth the trouble.

When I first read the BW books I was so convinced that this is the way I wanted to raise my lo, that Tracy's methods seemed to make the most sense and really be the gentlest on my lo. But now, deep in the trenches, I feel like I need to be reminded of why I am doing this and not APing my way through. Will my toddler be like my friends... is screaming to sleep just a part of the "terrible 2s" that everyone has to endure. Or does BW provide a solution to this?

I keep thinking that I am laying the ground work for something better, that eventually all of my hard work now at 9 weeks old will pay off and I will have a 2 year old that happily takes her naps and goes to bed quietly, free of screaming. Can anyone confirm this for me?

Thanks!

[* Paula *]

I can tell you that it is all worth while.  Don't get me wrong, your lo will still have some days where they do cry and have a tantrum, but that is just a normal tantrum.

I BW my DS from around 6 months old, and he is a fantastic toddler.  Both my kids are in bed and asleep for the night by 7:00pm.  Even if we try to keep DS up later for some reason, he actually comes to us and asks us to go to bed, as it is his routine.

The hard work is definitely worth while, and the rewards are just fantastic when you lo is on an established routine.  You come to know what to expect, and enjoy your Y time.

Hugs, I know it can be hard, but it will definitely pay off in the long run 

[knackered]

I agree - my 2.5 yr old (mostly) goes to bed happily. The odd tear here and there - but it's generally enjoyable for him and for us his parents - so much so that there's usually a bit of a struggle between me and DH as to who puts him to bed!!!

It's worth it!
x

[~Kellie~]

Totally stick with it!  My DD is 3.5yrs and can sleep anywhere as long as we
get her to bed on time and have her usual stories and sing her bedtime
lullaby's.  Actually we are at my mother's house staying until the 16th (got here
on the 2nd)  She is sleeping in a strange bed but it matters not a jot because
she is a BabyWhisperer Baby!
My DS2 is almost 4 months and he is sleeping fine here too in a travel cot. 
We had only 2 night wakings in one night -but I figured that out quick!-he was sleeping in a vest and kept kicking his
covers off and his arms were cold.  I switched him to a baby gro and voila no more NW's!
Don't get me wrong it's not easy and there have been times in the beginning with DD when I wanted to
tear my hair out but the hard work that you put in will definately be worth it 

[Maffoos mummy]

Ditto to pp,short term it's harder but long term you'll massively reap the benefits. Also ditto to being able to put BW babies/toddlers to sleep in strange places pretty easily as the way you get them to sleep is consistent and they are so much happier during A times because you've ensured enough sleep. You'll have times along the way when you need to tweak the routine but because your LO is by then starting from a well rested fulfilled and trusting place it's easy to do. And there's a toddler book too you know!!! 

[em_here]

}}}}}}}}}}}}hugs{{{{{{{{{{{[ it is SO worth it hun, I have a lo who doesnt cry herself to sleep, we used traceys methods from 3 months old and she is so content and on a wonderful routine. Yes we have the odd blip, but it doesnt seem so hard to get back on track. As pp said, short term its hard, but long term you will reap the rewards. xxxxxxxxx

[Zoey]

Hugs!

Is one way "better" than another - not sure really.  But honestly, do you want to leave your baby alone in his room screaming and pleading for someone to help him?  No, you don't and that's why you are here

You are in fact laying the ground work for a wonderful, trusting caring relationship with your child.  BW is more then just EASY routine and pat/shhing til you're blue in the face.  It's more about listening to your baby, learning what your baby's cry means, learning and respecting your baby's needs.  It's about finding a gentle way, learning together, growing together.

It's never going to be easy.  This is the hardest job you will ever, ever have.  It's also the most rewarding.  Doing BW can't ensure that you won't ever encounter a problem, or difficult times as time goes on - but it can ensure that there will always be a gentle way to deal with it, and wonderful, loving people waiting to give you a hug.

Keep at it, it will pay off.  HUGS

[gemmah]

Hello,
I can I can!
My LO (2yr) goes to sleep at night with no prop,bottle or rocking at 7.30, sleep straight through till 8.45. Then naps for1.5-2hrs in day!
But it was bloody nightmare getting here!!
I also have a nephew who comes from a house full of morons, has no nap, is a spiteful little git coz he sooo over tired, they let him fall asleep on couch about 10pm, no routine he still on bottle throughout the day & he 2 & half.
Promise 1 day it will click into place & you can be the smug 1!
xx

[corimorgan]

HUGS to you all. I am in tears right now from the responses you all have left me. I wrote this post last night in a time of need and woke up this morning to hear exactly what I needed!! I knew deep down that had to be the case, that laying this groundwork now is just a means to an end.

Thank you so much for confirming what I new in my heart all along. It just really helps to hear your stories though to know I am not crazy. I can't wait to share your comments with DH, my sister and my mother who have been so supportive to me and my decision to do BW.

I can't thank you all enough!! Keep the stories coming!!

[Katw]

Yes it is so worth all the hard effort and tears - babies and ours!!!

I started BW with DD from 5wks and she is now 3yrs and is a great sleeper. DS has been on BW from birth and it all clicked into place around 11wks - so you will get there.

I have lots of friends who have no routine and have babies going to bed at 9pm and then toddlers who wake at 4.45am for the day!! Just keep thinking about how your life will get back to ' normal ' alot quicker than your friends and how much happier your baby will be than theirs as well.

Keep at it. It is so frustrating and I had to wonder why I was doing it with DS even though I had done it before so knew it worked, however when you are in the thick of it it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel - but it will be there, don't worry!!

[ark]

It definitely helps.  Everybody says how easy our DS is, but I wonder if he would really be this easy if we hadn't followed the structure and routine that we did.  He is a little over one now and every now and then he goes through a phase where he will cry when put to bed, but in general he's happy and excited to go to bed.  Everybody thinks that's just amazing!!  He also has no props and was easy to wean off of his bottle. 

I also would have never thought to PT him at this age, but because of Tracy's book we decided to give it a try and that is going well so far too.  I'm sure our family thinks we've lost it, but I hardly ever have to change a poopy diaper anymore and that's OK by me.

From what I've seen so far the only time we really struggle anymore is with certain milestones that disrupt life (ie. teething).  Obviously these times can still be VERY frustrating, but otherwise we have a fairly simple, stress free home!! 

[worriermum]

great post as Im starting to think the same - is this going to pay off. Im justifying what Im doing to people (those who say oh just put them to bed & they'll cry to sleep, or the in my day we just fed them whenever they cried. to be fair Im so over hearing "in my day we....". But I fear that they may get the last laugh when months/years from now Im still battling & sooo dont want to hear I told you so (esp from the mother in-law!!). I can see some benefits paying off already but then I question wether is a development thing or BW??? my lo isnt napping during the day & I just cant figure out his tired signs so am under fustration a lot of the time & think where is the light at the end of the tunnel. I just cant see it getting better unless I can read him. I also think am I doing it "right" for BW to work i.e. the shh/pat, the wind down, the routine - Do I actually have one or do I just THINK I do???
Anyway will keep reading the replies to this post to get some encourgement- for those with toddlers when did things start to click in??? my lo is 10wks & Ive been on BW since about 4wks (although we've has set backs thats put us behind a bit).

[corimorgan]

Worriermum- I too am justifying and listening to the "in my day..." comments! I have the same exact fear as you... am I doing this right?!?! My lo is 10 weeks as well and a chronic 40 min. napper. I can actually get her to take a proper nap if I go into the room at 35 mins. and help her through the transition. (which takes at least 40 more mins.) So now I am thinking of course I am becoming a prop! BW has gotten me to fear every decision I make... my heads reels at night with things like props, UT, OT, OS, paci dependant. It's enough to make me scream!

There is something to be said for ignorance is bliss. My mother who "had no books in her day" as she puts it, APed her way through and we turned out just fine. But, I digress... this is not a post of discouragement, rather encouragement!!

How wonderful it is to read the other successful mother's words!! Let's just keep reminding ourselves that one day we will be responding to another poor mother who is deep in the thick of things just as we are now encouraging her with our success story. I can see it now... "stick with it, when my lo was 10 weeks see wouldn't take a proper nap all day and would be so OT..." Yes I am writing my success story already.... visualize the target!

Hang in there we can get through this together! Keep me informed of your progress!

[keeps me guessing]

Just wanted to add, keep up the great work, Everything you are doing will pay off. I thought having a newborn was a nightmare and was one of those parents that thoughts babies should go to bed at 10pm ect until i came across this site. I can honestly say it saved my life and my daughters as things are pretty easy going now. At first everyone thought i was crazy patting and shh the transition for 30 minutes but soon she was napping 1.5 hours and i thought it was a miracle until it bacame consistent and i knew it was because of BW. She loves naps and will take them no problem and same as bedtime. I had a babysitter once that couldn't beleive how great she was based on her routine and had no problems with bedtime. At daycare she is the only child that has not been sent to the corner and naps 2 hours there too and daycare cannot beleive it. You will get bumps and times that you want to give up (beleive me i wrote several post about giving up). But i am sooo glad that i found the strength to hold on for 1 more day, 1 more week ect. It will pay off

[corimorgan]

Keeps me guessing- you had to pat/shh through the transition? That is what I am doing now and am really worried that she won't ever be able to do it without me there. How long did it take for her to start taking proper naps on her own and when did you start BW?

Thanks!