I need some ideas on what to do (again) please!!!!!

[appletree]

The situation with Bella has changed drastically.  Bella is home with her biomom and we share custody (off the record) so, we have her for 4 days (bm has her for 3) then it switches and we get her for 3 (while bm has her for 4). 

Here's the problem...

Bella has been on ricemilk and NO dairy since 1 yo.  She had severe stomach aches (screaming for hours in the mid of the night) and bad eczema so we decided that was the culprit and took her off. That was when we had full physical custody.  (We also tried soy but the results were about the same).  Now that bm has her back, she doesn't want to be bothered with the dairy issue as it makes it difficult (have to cook/bake with rice milk, etc.) and is expensive.  Her 2 boys have no problems with dairy issues so it'd be eaiser all around to think Bella has no problems either.  BM has decided to reintroduce dairy. She started last week. The first 2 nights there was no problems I guess (she just used milk in cooking). Then on my night, I gave her yogurt. She ate about 1/4 of it and that was all.  That night she complained of a tummy ache.  She was up for an hour (not screaming but saying 'tummy hurts' and was very gassy).   Her eczema was HORRIBLE and Bella couldn't stop scratching it.  I told bm and didn't give her anymore.  BM kinda got defensive and was wondering why it only bothered her at my house.    (Like I'd make this up!)  I got her eczema back under control with allergy meds and med. lotion but now bm has told the school Bella attends (I teach there) that she's starting to give her dairy.  WTH?!

So, what now?  I don't know how to approach it with her cuz I thought I'd already done that. Also, if we do reintroduce, isn't there a specific way to do it?

Little stressed here and would appreciate any help you can give me. Thanks.

[Mydreamcametrue]

Hi Wendee:

Yikes, that is such a tough situation, I am sure it is not easy at all dealing with someone else (that's seems to care less) or bascially has not seen how she really is on dairy.

So I guess there is no way you can go to the courts since you have custody off the record.

If she is going to re-introduce dairy, then could you come to some sort of aggrement to do it slowly?

Start with just hidden dairy in foods, cooking with it.  If she seems fine, then move onto a mild cheese (such as cheddar) and then yogurt. 

I think he BM is really going to have to see what happens when her little tummy is upset by dairy.  Unless of course, she just does not care.  Sorry I don't know the whole situation. 

Anyhow, from an allergy/intolerance stand point, I would just do a little at a time.

Grrrr makes the whole situation just makes me mad, because there is obvious signs there (stomach upset and excema) that says she cannot handle dairy.

HUGE HUGS to you.  I hope maybe her bm will come to her senses.

Wendy

[Mydreamcametrue]

Hi Wendee, just checking on you.  How are things going with Bella?

Wendy

[appletree]

Hi, Wendy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Well, we did cheese for a week and she's gassy at night and seems "uncomfortable" but not screaming.  We started with the yogurt yesterday and she used to love yogurt & now doesn't want any. She's only taken a few bites both today and yesterday so not sure that it's making any difference.

Her poop (sorry) is funky though. Looks kinda 'mucousy' (if that's a word) and odd colored.    I'm still doing rice milk. Not sure if her other mom is or if she's just doing juice & koolaid (that happens a bit).

[Mydreamcametrue]

Thanks for the B-day wishes, Me or Zach?  I turned 30 in June and Zach turned 3 last week!  They grow up fast.

Sounds like her BM is not really doing things right. 

Do you talk to her BM to see if she has done whole milk, etc.

Does Bella complain of her belly hurting at all?

I hope things turn out okay for you and her.  I really hope her mom listens to you.

Hugs, Wendy

[appletree]

Happy Birthday to both of you!  And I agree, they grow up way too fast! Bella turned 2 this week. It's crazy.

Bella doesn't really complain of her tummy hurting so ?   Her bm said she hadn't done any milk but primarily does juice, gatorade, or koolade.  She gets rice milk at school (as I provide it) and when she's at my house.

Thanks for all your help.

[shelliz]

Great big hugs. that would be so difficult w/o everyone on board. I hope things smooth out w/ the bm soon so that your dd can get some relief! 

Hugs

Shelby

[Jimbob]

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I don't really have any advice as it is such a difficult problem to deal with. I really wish she could see the effects that dairy is having on Bella like you do.

Kelly