Taking 45+ minutes to fall asleep at night

[irish3680]

Ella will be 2 on the 25th. In the past, she has always taken up to 30 minutes to fall asleep at night for bed. It's never been a problem as we put her to bed and she lays quietly cuddling with her blanket until she falls asleep. She is still in her crib and very content there, so not moving anytime soon  For the past week or so, she is taking 45 minutes to an hour or more to fall asleep at night. Again, she is not calling out or anything just chatting to herself and resting quietly. But because of this extra time, she is falling asleep later at night and then waking early in the morning. Her body naturally likes to be asleep by 8/8:15 pm or so in order to get a good night sleep. If she falls asleep too much later than that, she usually wakes up tired in the morning and sometimes early too. Her routine has been:

7-8 am: wake-up, usually 7/7:30ish
1 - 3:15: nap (usually always have to wake her)
7:45: bed (asleep by 8:15)

Yesterday I woke her at 3 pm from her nap and she was NOT happy at all to be woken. She seemed and looked tired throughout the afternoon, so put her to bed at 7:30. She fell asleep after 8:30 pm  and then woke before 7 am this morning VERY tired. I put her down for an early nap at 12:30, she went right to sleep and woke about 2:30/2:45. Again she looked very tired this afternoon and was ready for bed when I put her down early again at 7:15. I am pretty sure she was asleep by 8 pm tonight. Do you think a routine tweak may be necessary or should I just factor in a longer winddown for her once she's in bed and put her down early enough to be asleep by 8 pm? I'm so not ready for this 2 year old stuff, LOL 

[Casseopea]

She may be ready for a shorter nap.  My lo is almost 2.5 years old and he had been waking about 8am, napping from 1-3pm and then in bed by 8pm.  But a couple months ago we realized that he wasn't falling asleep at naptime until about an hour into it so we pushed back the starting time for his naps and that helped a bunch.  So naptime became 2-3/3:30pm.  You might try shortening the nap that way- by moving up the start time- and see if that helps at bedtime.   

[irish3680]

My first thought was to shorten her nap too. I did it by shaving off the last 15 minutes so she napped 1-3 the other day, but was pretty grouchy for 30 minutes when I woke her up. Then she still took over an hour to fall asleep at bedtime. I don't think she could make it happily past 1 pm for her nap, she's ready by then and usually falls asleep within 15 minutes max. If I continue with the 1-3 nap would you keep the 7:45 bedtime or bump it back to 7:30 to account for the slightly shorter nap?

[Casseopea]

I think it is always easier to go for the earlier bedtime because then if you notice that she is still not falling asleep for a while you can always push back the bedtime the next time and there aren't usually any downsides to them spending a little more time in bed.  On the other hand, putting them to bed later can sometimes result in them being overtired and that does have a downside.

[tylersmommy]

A later bedtime or shorter nap could help, but something else to think about...some kiddos just need a little bit of time to themselves to wind down at the end of the day. My DS was like that. No amount of tinkering could get him to fall asleep within 45 min of bedtime. He never called out or needed us. He's 4.5 now and still reads to himself for 45 min-1 hr each night after bedtime.

[irish3680]

Thanks ladies! Today I put her down at 12:45 pm because she was ready and had woken a little before 7 am. She fell asleep within 15 minutes and I went in at 3:15 and she popped right up. I think she woke around 3 pm but my cousin was over and we were chatting so not sure when I heard the first wake-up peep. It's so hard to tell if she's OT, UT, or just needs some adjustment in her sleep times but still needs the same amount of sleep  She has always LOVED her nap and I hesitate to wake her from it when she obviously still really needs it and is cranky when I do wake her. I know the average amount of sleep for a 2 year old is 12-13 hours in a 24 hour period, but she has always needed more than the average and I think she really needs 13-13.5. With her shorter nights, she was still getting 12-12.5 hours of sleep but was still acting and looking tired so I know it wasn't enough for her. I really do think she still needs to sleep 2 hours during the day and 11 hours at night. It's just finding the magic combination and right times to make it happen.

Melissa, thanks for your insight. I think she may be a LO who needs to do her own winddown after we put her down regardless of how much winding down we did prior to lights out. I am thinking I may just need to factor that in regardless of nap length, etc. The extra time for her to fall asleep doesn't bother me at all, it's just that her actual sleep time is getting pushed too late which is causing problems.

[knackered]

Perhaps you could try a slightly earlier nap - say 5.5 hours after wake-up. So she wakes at 7, you put her down so she's asleep by 12.30. You wake her up at 2 ish then you have a good 5.5 + hours until bed time - plenty of time for her to get good and tired. Do you think she'd be ready to sleep a bit earlier?

Anna x

[irish3680]

She would sleep earlier, but she has always been very sensitive to A times before bed and I think 5.5 hours before being put down would be too much. I put her down at 12:45 pm for her nap today, she slept until about 3 pm and then bed at 7:30. I think we're going to stick with this for a while so she can get a full 2 hours of sleep during the day, which she needs. We'll see..............

[irish3680]

Any other thoughts or ideas that I'm missing?

[irish3680]

AHHHH!! So the EW are continuing. So I don't think my plan was the right one. Yesterday, put her down at 12:45, asleep right away and woke her at 3 pm. In bed at 7:30, and she protested a bit. Not sure exactly when she fell asleep because I was working and she was with my parents. This morning she woke around 6:30 happy as a clam. I am thinking I need to cut daytime sleep and her overall sleep needs may be dropping as well. I really want to stick with a 12:45/1 nap is possible. So I was thinking nap 12:45 - 2:45 and bed at 7:45 or nap 1-3 and bed at 8 pm. I just HATE waking her from a nap when she is sound asleep and obviously needs it. But she probably needs it so much because she is cutting her nights short to get the longer nap. I hate when our routine changes 

[Casseopea]

I have had to wake my lo as well and as tough as it is- it was needed because if he slept too much at naptime he took forever to fall asleep at night.  Hopefully you won't have to do it for very long and then you lo's body will shift her sleep routine and she will start waking on her own.   

[irish3680]

Thanks Kimberly. Well today I put her down at 1 pm, she fell asleep right away and woke on her own about 2:55, perfect! Going for an 8 pm bedtime tonight and would LOVE if this works out. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 

[Casseopea]

**fingers crossed**   

[Sima]

irish:  I am no expert by no means, but I think you said that your lo can't do 5.5 hours in the afternoon after naptime.  Just from my lo, I have been putting her 5.5 after her nap and she goes down very easily.  I tried earlier and she would toss and turn because not tired enough.  Also, my lo hardly takes 2 hour naps, usually 1.15min.
Just a thought but of course you know better.

[irish3680]

Thanks Siria! I extended the A time between nap and bedtime from 4.5 to 5 hours the past 2 days and she has gone off to sleep much quicker. I'm sure this has to do with more A time and her nap being cut a little shorter. She has always handled more A time better in the am as opposed to the pm. But then again, she is getting older now (2 in a week  - can you tell I'm not ready for my baby to grow up?  ) And I know in many LO's a natural decrease in sleep needs and increase in A times happens around this time. I am going to stick with nap 1-3 and bed at 8 for a week before doing anything else and pray that it works!!!