when do you leave the room?

[melissas61]

I'm trying to get on the 3hr EASY, and have a few questions regarding the sleeping part. At what sleep stage do you leave the room and let your baby sleep on their own? I swaddle and then shush until she's almost asleep. Then I lay her down but still shush and keep my hands on her arms. I have to keep my hand on her arms so she won't wake her self up as the swaddeling isn't enough. Do anyone else do this? Am I causing my hands to become a "prop". She cannot sleep unless I do this, is it ok? I try to take my hands away after she's sound but if I do take them off before she goes through the REM stage then she will ALWAYS wake and I have to start all over again! AHHHHHHHHH! So, I am to keep doing this until she's through the REM stage? I find that she gets to the REM stage about 1hr after going down. God, it seems like I will have no Y for me as I always have to stay with her until about 1hr or more into the nap!!!Or else she will only sleep for about 1/2hr!!!

What am I to do? When do babies start to stop moving as this always wakes her up...I feel like EASY would be great then. What's the sense of EASY if there's no Y??

HELP!

[cbald1976]

Hey Melissa61-
How old is your DD?
Char.

[melissas61]

She will be 8 weeks old on monday.

[cbald1976]

hmmm.... what kind of swaddle are you using?  Cloth, 'swaddleme', or another brand swaddler?

I think it could become a prop if you do it consistently through say the 4th month.  But at this point, she's only 2 months old, so i think you're safe.  Have you considered a paci or are you trying to avoid that route?  Eventually you will be able to move your hands away earlier and it think that it won't be so tough on you.  I guess for me, EASY was more about getting DS on the right track so that once he learned sleeping on his own i would have lots of Y time - every nap.  It is definitely front loaded, so it may take time to get her to that stage.  Sounds like you are doing right by her.   The less she pops awake at the 1/2 hr mark & just sails through it (because of your hands) the more she'll get used to it.  Eventually she'll be able to do it without your hands.

[melissas61]

Yes...I see your point. I guess I just have to be patient and let her take her sweet time!LOL After all I am getting great nights with her. And just a few weeks ago I was in total HELL! I should relax and be thankful for her progress up to now.

I've tried a paci several times but she doesn't "get" it. She keeps chewing until she starts to gag. I've tried different types and angel it right...still she resists. I do swaddle her with a cloth blanket.I think I will try every second nap to get away earlier. That way she will get a good na followed by a "challenge" nap?

Anyway, thanks for opening my eyes-I need to be patient and keep with it!?

[brenda2]

hi
an hour is an awful long time to stay with her. HUGS!! 

tracy recommends in her books when sleep training to stay with baby doing shh pat until the 20 min mark after eyes close because they have jolts at 10 min and 20 min while they are going into deep sleep which could wake them.  a baby's sleep cycle for naps is 45 min long.  so your LO should be in REM sleep by sometime after 20 min,  through the first cycle by 45 min and then has to transition into the next cycle which would be another 45 min for a 1.5 hour nap. 

it sound like what you're doing is actually helping her to get to sleep and staying with her through the transition into the next sleep cycle.  a lot of babies will wake at the 45 min mark if they can't transition by themselves. 

waking at 30 min suggests OT and perhaps means you need to shorten up her A times and try to get her into bed a bit earlier.  like char said sometimes it's just about the A time - i certainly felt that with my LO.  if i got the A time right she would sleep and sleep.  if i got it wrong she woke at 45 min.  if you want to post your routine i can take a look at it for you.  at 8 weeks A time (from wake up time to asleep again) should be about 1 hour to 1 hour 15 min max if taking long naps.  if she's awake longer than this this is probably why you are having difficulty.

after you ensure her A time is appropriate, what you could try is to stay with her until the 20 min mark, then leave for 15 min and come back at about the 35 min mark to help her through the jolts that occur as she transitions into the second sleep cycle.  then offer less and less support/pressure when she does this until you don't have to help at all.

also, you could try the miracle blanket, swaddle me or some kind of wrap that has velcro, these tend to be more snug than just swaddling with a blanket and may help her restless arms.

let us know how you do 

[melissas61]

I just had an "a-ha" moment. Finally someone knows what I'm talking about with the sleep cycles...or rather what I thought I was talking about!LOL! That's it-I stay until she goes into the second sleep cycle, as she usually starts to REM/jolt about 1hr after getting her down!! It make so much sense now. I will try the tips you suggested. Watch her A time and try to stay only 20min then go back when I know she is going to go through the second REM cycle.

She usually only lasta about 1hr from awake to giving "I'm sleepy" cues...this time includes her diaper change, feed(breast) and A time.

I'd love to post our routine if you would be so kind to review it for me...

E-5am~~~~~feed (breast..about 25-30min)
A-none~~~~ I do the diaper change before the feed as my girl has bad reflux and will throw up most of her feed if I lay ____________her down flat after her feed.
S-5:35am~~~put her right back down...still do th shush method-we cut out the pat due to again reflux.
Y-~~~~~~~I sleep too...way to early to get up!

E-8am~~~~~BF..30min (give or take 5min)
A-30min   bouncy chair action or tummy time followed by a book read, or watch mom get breakfast ready.
S-9am...first morning nap
Y-I usually have to stay with her until about 1/2 hr before she is to get up for a feed again...

E-11am~~~~BF..30'ish again
A-30min   Bouncy chair...face games...cuddle and walks (around the house)with mom
S-12pm~~~~this nap is usually a hard one...
Y-NONE

E-2pm~~~~BF...30'ish
A-30min or more if we run out
S-3pm or 330...this nap is hard also
Y-30 min or NONE

E-5pm...sometimes wakes early (maybe 430)
A-visit with grandma or tummy time...face games..etc.
S-6pm....This nap is always awful...it's summer here and the heat also makes her fussy...I try my best to keep her cool.
Y-DEF NONE

E-7pm...1 cluster feed 15-20 min
A-BATH...cuddles
E-730-745...2 cluster feed 15-20min
S-8pm...usually easy to go down, as I feed her to sleep
Y-FINALLY I CAN EAT!

E-dream feed between 11pm -12
A-none, back down without waking or a diaper change
S-usually will sleep until 5am---THANK GOD!
Y-sleep-Made it through another day................


WE have been on 3hr easy for about 2 weeks. I am a single mom but I am staying with my mom right now. However, I am moving into our own lace this week and am worried that I will not find time to eat during the day as I spend so much time holding her during her sleep...which will effect my milk and then effect her...

HELP!I would love any tips. And will try to do as you suggested above...THANK YOU!

[brenda2]

well at least your nights are great for this age!

first if she jolts so much try looking for the swaddle me blanket as they really do hold them in tight.

since she has reflux, is there any chance this is causing her to wake?  is her mattress elevated at the head?  it should be if she has reflux.

at 8 weeks the A time is pretty short, but still, she's getting an awful lot of sleep...i think the first A time is about right, 1 hour.  this is often shorter than the others so i would stick with it.  after this (she's always doing 2 hour naps right?) i would try to stretch her A time by maybe 5 or 10 min and see what happens.  so try 1 hour 10 min max.  maybe she's just not quite tired enough?

then continue as you have been doing but like i said try not holding her between the 20-35 min marks as this should be deep sleep, and also hold her less firmly and see what happens.

your routine looks great.  by 3 mo she should be able to do 1.5 hours A time (except maybe the first one, as i said this is often a bit shorter, and the last one is always short after a catnap) so she should be stretching her A times up to that in the next month.  if you stretch by 5 or 10 min every 3 days you'll be at about 1.5 hours by then.

as for eating - can you eat 1 handed meals while you bf?  have your mom make a ton of muffins and stick them in your freezer!  tough being a single mom, i think you're doing great!  it does get easier as they get a bit older, the newborn period is so hard.

[melissas61]

Thank you so much for the comments....her reflux i sgetting so bad that she's now gagging on the breast and keeps bobbing on and off...I'm gonna ask the doc about it. But Yes, I am keeping her elevated.

I will also try to get a swaddler and see if that can hold her in tighter. I will also try to extend her A times, as you suggested. 1.5 of A time by 3months!!!YUPPIE...I may be able to leave the house!

Muffins...great idea...and yes I have one handed eating down.lol

Thanks again