Author Topic: Weaning multiple sleep props from 22 mo old?  (Read 1063 times)

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Offline scribegirl

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Weaning multiple sleep props from 22 mo old?
« on: August 18, 2008, 19:39:05 pm »
I've got an almost 22-month-old DD who just recently has developed some pretty demanding bedtime rituals involving her water bottle, special pillow, towel AND blankie. She wants to have her towel covering her head (it's got a triangle hoodie portion on one corner) and feet at the same time, as well as her blanket covering her.

She has been an independent sleeper logging 12 hrs a night on a 7:30/8 am to 7:30/8 pm schedule for more than a year. So far she hasn't had much problems settling herself in the middle of the night when she wakes up. It's just for her one daily nap and bedtime that have become exhausting for both of us.

Sked is more or less:

8 am  Wake up
9 am  Breakfast
12 pm Lunch
1 pm Nap
3 pm Wake and snack
6 pm Dinner
6:30 pm Bath
7 pm In room for wind down
7:30 pm Bed

I've found that giving her a longer wind down routime (45 min to 1 hr) has helped her settle better but if we're late, then her demands often become intolerable. In addition to having her towel on her head and covering her feet at the same time, head on pillow, water in hand and blanket covering her, she often kicks off the towel and blanket and starts crying hysterically until they are put back into place. Obviously this escalates and delays her bedtime as she continues the charade. I feel like the major prop is the ritual of putting the towel hood on her head and feet.

I've tried leaving the room and returning after a few minutes, telling her "this is the last time mummy will come back", telling her to lie down by the count of 3 if she wants mummy to tuck her in with her towel, blankie, etc. They have worked to varying degrees but I am at my wits end. I have also tried talking firmly to her that "it's bedtime and you're a big girl so you need to settle down."

Any suggestions on how to help her work through this? Is it a matter of putting my foot down and being firmer? Should we aim to remove the props or help disuade her from NEEDING to have all four items "just so" for her to settle down? Or just plan on a longer wind down?
« Last Edit: August 18, 2008, 20:09:09 pm by scribegirl »

Offline LeesMom

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Re: Weaning multiple sleep props from 22 mo old?
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2008, 01:07:33 am »
My DD is quite a bit older (34 mos.) but we have had similar issues off and on for the past several months. DD is very meticulous about EVERYTHING and it was taking forever to get her tucked in at night because all the 10 stuffed animals, 4 bibs, 3 blankets, pillow, and 2 extra pillowcases  ::) had to be JUST so. I finally got fed up with it  ;) and explained to her that because she was getting upset every night because the lovies got out of place, etc., that we would make them (the lovies) a special bed out in the living room and then each night she could pick 2 to take in bed with her. This has completely eliminated the problem here. I'm not sure this would work with a younger lo though, but doing something similar might be worth a try. Has she ever used a sleep sack? Just as a suggestion, maybe you could make a big deal of letting her pick a special one at the store and that would eliminate the need for a blanket/towel, etc. DD's in a sleepsack but still likes to hold her blanket or a pillowcase sometimes. Seems that if the towel and blanket didn't actually have to be on your DD (but could still be in the bed for her to hold), it might at least help. I've found that it's pretty much a losing battle (at least around here) trying to convince a 2-year-old that she doesn't need to have everything just so. It's been more effective for us just to try to work with her but change things up a bit. BTW, I considered just allowing extra time for a longer wind down, but then decided I was not going to be driven crazy  ;D every night taking 20 minutes to rearrange things amidst fussing. HTH a little.  :)
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Offline amywiz24

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Re: Weaning multiple sleep props from 22 mo old?
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2008, 02:38:32 am »
while my DS wasn't quite as meticulous/demanding; he did want to be covered witht he blanket and then would stnad up so it would fall off and want me to cover him again, etc.  :o
I finally relaized, he was just stalling; so I would tell him this is the last time I am covering you with the blanket, and I stuck to my guns. Now, he doesn't even want to be covered, he realized  the stalling tactic did not work.
SO, a thought that perhaps she is just using it as a stalling tactic.  ???
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Offline scribegirl

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Re: Weaning multiple sleep props from 22 mo old?
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2008, 03:58:34 am »
Thanks so much for the thoughts... I decided through the course of the day (after a 1 hour battle at nap time) that it wasn't worth it trying to give in to her requests, and that removing the most problematic prop -- ie. the towel -- was the way to go. I also think her demanding that I comply with her wishes is a bit of a control and independence issue.

So I made sure to give her plenty of choices thruout the day: "do you want to walk up the stairs or have mummy carry you?" , "do you want to climb up into your booster seat yourself?", etc. At dinner we had a casual talk about how she is a big girl now, how her daddy gave her flowers for her first day of school (a 3-day a week morning program that started today) and we were going to say "bye bye" to the towel. She actually repeated "bye bye towel" and then let it go. We found another light cotton blanket that I told her could be her towel replacement and we hung it on the edge of her crib.

After her regular bath and bed routine, with me allowing her to take a bit of extra time on a book she wanted to read herself, I just let her wind down as usual with no mention of the towel, then put her in her crib. I left the room and after 30 seconds she howled for the towel, then cried for MAYBE a minute and was silent for good! Meanwhile I removed her towel completely from the room to stop any reminders if she wakes up and should see it.

So knock on wood we're in the clear! At least now I have some ideas to help problem solve and know we're not alone.