I've got an almost 22-month-old DD who just recently has developed some pretty demanding bedtime rituals involving her water bottle, special pillow, towel AND blankie. She wants to have her towel covering her head (it's got a triangle hoodie portion on one corner) and feet at the same time, as well as her blanket covering her.
She has been an independent sleeper logging 12 hrs a night on a 7:30/8 am to 7:30/8 pm schedule for more than a year. So far she hasn't had much problems settling herself in the middle of the night when she wakes up. It's just for her one daily nap and bedtime that have become exhausting for both of us.
Sked is more or less:
8 am Wake up
9 am Breakfast
12 pm Lunch
1 pm Nap
3 pm Wake and snack
6 pm Dinner
6:30 pm Bath
7 pm In room for wind down
7:30 pm Bed
I've found that giving her a longer wind down routime (45 min to 1 hr) has helped her settle better but if we're late, then her demands often become intolerable. In addition to having her towel on her head and covering her feet at the same time, head on pillow, water in hand and blanket covering her, she often kicks off the towel and blanket and starts crying hysterically until they are put back into place. Obviously this escalates and delays her bedtime as she continues the charade. I feel like the major prop is the ritual of putting the towel hood on her head and feet.
I've tried leaving the room and returning after a few minutes, telling her "this is the last time mummy will come back", telling her to lie down by the count of 3 if she wants mummy to tuck her in with her towel, blankie, etc. They have worked to varying degrees but I am at my wits end. I have also tried talking firmly to her that "it's bedtime and you're a big girl so you need to settle down."
Any suggestions on how to help her work through this? Is it a matter of putting my foot down and being firmer? Should we aim to remove the props or help disuade her from NEEDING to have all four items "just so" for her to settle down? Or just plan on a longer wind down?