nap problems, taking nearly 1 hour to fall asleep in evening, early waking- OT?

[Iris75]

Hi, I'm new to the forums but I hope someone here can help me with my toddler sleep problems.

Here is the backstory so you know what has been going on:

My son is now 22 months old. He has never been a fantastic sleeper. I breastfed him until he was about 8 months old and he used to just nurse himself to sleep, meaning that he initially really had problems with independent sleep. He also used to wake many times throughout the night, initially to nurse, then just out of habit I suspect. Over time the night wakings got less, and when I stopped breastfeeding we set about establishing a routine for him to fall asleep on his own. We bathe him and he has a bottle with milk while on my lap. Then he goes to bed at around 7.30pm.

We had some success with the controlled crying technique (not the really radical one but leaving him to cry for up to 5 minutes before going in but making sure he never got hysterical and afraid). It worked for us although I have to say that it wasn't exactly fun...

Anyway, so that part was OK until a few weeks ago when we came back from a month of holidays - first I had been to see my family and then my husband, my son and I went away for a further 10 days together. Although generally our son was OK in terms of sleeping then, he returned with a new and not very desirable habit - he now wanted me to sit with him until he fell asleep - this could take up to an hour each time, with him routinely asking "Mami?" to make sure I was answering. And as if this wasn't bad enough, the same would have to happen when he occasionally did wake up in the middle of the night.

I do think we are making progress on this part of my son's sleeping issues - I used to sit on a chair near his bed until he fell asleep - not so near that he could see me, but he was always aware that I was there. A few nights ago I decided to push the issue a bit. I didn't want to try the controlled crying technique initially, because although it worked for us I found it very upsetting. Instead I suggested to him that I would go out to the bathroom and then come back. He didn't like it, but when I returned from the bathroom a few minutes later I found that despite crying a little he had not got up in his cot.

This encouraged me to try again the next night - we went through his normal routine (bath, bottle, bed), and when I kissed him good night I said that I was going to hang some laundry in the next room, then come back. Again, he wasn't thrilled, but although he complained he didn't get up in the 10 minutes or so that it took me to hang the laundry.

Last night then I again went out and he managed to fall asleep without me in the room. It took about 45 minutes (never seems to take less time these days...) and lots of "Mami?" calling to see if I was still around but still, I class that as a success.

So the problem is with the rest of it, really - naps and his wake up time in the mornings.

Again, he has never been a fantastic napper. It doesn't help that I work full-time and he is in daycare. Initially he used to sleep there, either in his pram or the car when they were on the move, or else in a child seat that he'd picked for himself as a sleeping spot. The trouble started when he grew out of the child seat. He now refuses to sleep in his pram and even though he does need a nap my childminder tells me that most of the time he only sleeps about 30 minutes and at very irregular times in the day - sometimes at 11am sometimes as late as 3pm. He loves playing with the other kids (who are older and don't nap) there, and he feels like he is missing something if he sleeps. At home I'm having even less success with good nap times. He will always sleep if I take him in the car, but I don't see that as a solution. I tried lying down with him (although I also would like him to nap on his own), but it will take him over an hour to fall asleep. I am going on maternity leave at the beginning of October and he will be at home more from then on, so I am hoping to introduce some more routine then, so any suggestions regarding what I could try are much appreciated.

And then there is the wake-up time, which is a total nightmare. He is such an early riser! For a while he was up at 4.30am every morning. DH and I were at our wit's end! Right now he wakes up between 5 and 5.30am - still far too early, and I worry endlessly about what will happen when the new baby gets here. When will I ever get any sleep?! We tried going in and putting him down, but to no avail - he just cries until either we cave and get him, or until it is time to get up anyway, in which case he still feels like he has won the battle (since he of course doesn't know what time it is!). Interestingly, during our holiday, when he was in the same room with us, he often slept a lot later, despite the fact that the rooms were often quite light in the mornings.

I feel that the situation is bad for us but also, perhaps more importantly, bad for him. If I had the feeling that he is getting enough sleep I would probably be able to make my peace with the situation, but he doesn't wake up happy - he cries and is whiny for quite some time, rubbing his eyes and clearly not ready to be awake (yet refusing to go back to sleep, even in our bed). The same if I manage to put him down for a nap - when he wakes up he often cries and is clearly tired. I suspect that he might be OT, but I don't know what to do about it. How can I get this issue sorted?! HELP!!

[becky1969]

Welcome to the BW forums!

Don't worry, we can offer you sleep-training solutions that don't involve crying.  In the FAQ sections, there are some wonderful explanations about why BW doesn't use controlled crying of any kind.  You may wish to read those to help you feel good about your decision not to follow that tecnique anymore!

First off, I think your son is extremely OT.  The little to no nap and the EWs are really causing havoc on his sleep.  At his age, we try to aim for 11.5 hours of nighttime sleep, and approximately 1.5-2.5 hours of daytime sleep for a total of 13-14 hours of sleep per day.  It sounds like at best he's getting 10-11, which means a deficit of 2-3 hours/day.  That can make a little guy really stretched!

Second, the vacation probably just messed things up a bit too.  Even fabulous sleepers often have trouble getting back into a good sleep routine after a vacation.  Just the way it is with LOs!

We can probably trace every single sleep issue you are talking about back to being OT:

*taking a long time to fall asleep (which means lots of dependence on you for wind down)
*waking up early
*napping short or not at all

I'm glad you'll be on maternity leave soon, as that means you can really work on those naps! It is terribly hard when you have to rely on another person to do as you ask with regards to sleep. Plus, some LOs are more sensitive in their interactions with non-parents and so have a hard time sleeping because of that.

I think you are doing an AWESOME job with working on your nighttime situation by using what we call the "Gradual Withdrawal" technique. WTG on that one! You're basically doing what we suggest: you are shortening the time you are at his side, you are giving him a reason for you to leave the room, and you are only returning if there is a genuine cry.  I think by getting him some more naptime sleep you'll see him fall asleep a LOT quicker!

I guess my suggestions for right now would be:
1) Continue with your GW technique.  Make sure you do not re-enter the room unless he cries.  But, if he *does* cry, you will want to respond right away.  The controlled crying you've done before may have broken some trust, so we want to build that trust up as much as we can at this point.

2) Let's do some serious work on those naps.  That means we may want to offer a very short nap earlier in the morning (like 20 minutes or so) and then try to get a longer nap later in the afternoon.  I'm saying this because you've got such a hard cycle of OT going on.  Even though your child has been on 1 nap for quite sometime, it often helps to do 2 naps for a very short period (just a matter of days) to help break the cycle.  since he is able to take short naps it might be very beneficial to get TWO shorties in -- that will double his daytime sleep and perhaps make bedtime easier!  I'd try for the first nap around 4-5 hours after waking, so around 9:30-10.  Tell the caregiver to wake after about 20 minutes and then we'll do another nap around 5 hours after that, so around 3.  Perhaps you'll have more success trying this strategy on your own, and then by the time he's back at the caregivers, we'll have enough of the OT beat that we can go back to a more reasonable 1 nap time.

3) Let's also move that bedtime forward.  I know 7:30 must seem so early when you don't have much time with him, but it's way too late given that he has a 5:30 pm waking.  Even with older toddlers who have given up their naps, we recommend having a bedtime that is 12 hours after their waking in the AM.  for your DS that would mean 5:30!    I realize that is probably WAY too early, but I would try for 6 and no later than 6:30.  You will probably find that your son falls asleep sooner.  And, even if he still gets a 4:30-5:30 waking we're looking at an extra 1-2 hours of sleep in the night compare to before! Getting that extra sleep in will improve the chances of him taking a nap.


That is how I'd work the problem! Sleep is a cyclical thing.  The bad news about that is that when you start getting disruptions in your nighttime sleep, it often leads to problems in daytime sleep. Before long, you have such a tired kid that sleep is nearly impossible for him to get.  However, the good news is that once you get a little improvement in one area (like nighttime sleep), you also get small improvements in the other area (daytime sleep).  The result is more hours of sleep, a more rested child, and then an easier time falling and staying asleep!

This *can* be fixed! And doing it now will help you so much once your baby arrives.  These boards will be a wonderful resource for your new baby too. BW saved my butt with my son, that's for sure!   

Good luck, and I'll be happy to answer any questions you might have!

[Iris75]

Thank you so much for your long reply Becky, I really appreciate the help.

We've been working on the nighttime routine for the last few days and I think there has been quite a bit of improvement. I continued with what you call the Gradual Withdrawal technique and it's been working really well. For two nights now I've not had to go back in at all. I move around outside, hanging laundry and tidying up in the other rooms while DS is in his cot. He complains about it but doesn't really cry fully if that makes any sense. It's more of a whining and occasional calling out (which I tend to answer if he is insistent but not every time because then it just seems to take over and prevents him from falling asleep) but he doesn't seem to get upset. He also doesn't get up in his cot, which I am taking as a sign that he doesn't really mind too much.

The technique has really worked in getting him to sleep more quickly too - the last two nights he was asleep within 20 minutes or so, despite the fact that he seems to come down with a cold and there was quite a bit of coughing going on (he has no fever,though, and seems OK in himself, just the cough).

We've moved his bedtime forward a little too. Not to 6.30 pm right now, but we are aiming for a bath at 6.45pm and milk and bed by 7pm. He's adjusted really well to that too. And guess what - the last two nights he has been sleeping longer in the mornings!! Obviously this could be just a glitch and tonight we are back to 5am, but yesterday he woke up at 6.30 am and this morning it was 6.50am. I am cautiously hopeful.  .

He was up for about 30 minutes in the night both nights, though - I suspect because of his cough - but when I go in he sends me away, saying "Mami, night night". He then tends to grumble a bit and if he seems more upset I go in again, only for him to send me out. Both nights he eventually fell asleep again on his own.

It's not perfect yet, and I have yet to work on those naps, but at least there has been some improvement to his sleep routine. According to my childminder he has been sleeping for a bit longer during the day too. Still not in a regular pattern, but I suspect the cold is making him more tired so he gives in a bit more easily during the day...

It will be difficult to introduce a good napping routine until I am on Maternity Leave I think, because the childminder has other kids to look after and usually takes them to toddler play groups in the morning and/or afternoon. Difficult to fit two naps in, unless he sleeps in his buggy, which he doesn't like to do anymore. I'll discuss it with her, though, and will try at the weekend to get some structured nap-time in. Can't wait to go on Maternity Leave so I can tackle this problem more efficiently, though.

Again, thanks for your advice - I was suspecting that my son is OT and what you are saying is making a lot of sense to me. Hopefully with the help of people here I can get him to actually get the sleep he needs!

[becky1969]

Yay! You're having awesome success, in my opinion! More nights like the ones you describe will soon make the nap easier and easier.  If he's already extending his nap a bit at childminders, then I wouldn't worry about the 2 nap option -- it sounds like he's unwinding the OT cycle already with the extra nighttime sleep.  Over the next week or so, you'll hopefully see a more normal nap length.

It's actually good about the cold! Sometimes that sort of thing *can* make them sleepier, and helps them get over the OT hump.  Then, by the time they're done with the illness they've got a better sleep cycle going and that keeps them getting OT once they are well! I hope that's what happens for you.

V. proud of your son for putting himself back to sleep at night! Avoid going in there as much as possible -- fussing is fine, just let him be.  You want a full-out cry.  That's awesome he recognizes he can do it himself! 

[Iris75]

Thanks Becky - I'm really proud of him too for being such a trooper those last few nights. This morning he woke up at 6.40 am again, so he's doing great with that. Lets just hope that this continues! It just makes me really upset to think that he's been OT for so long and I just didn't recognise the right way to deal with it. We even tried a LATER sleeptime, hoping he'd then wake up later in the morning (this didn't happen, obviously - he just woke up even more tired and grouchy). Poor little mite!

I'm really hoping I can get the nap situation sorted too. I'm dreading it a bit because he's just never been particularly used to a nap routine and if I just pop him down in his cot in the middle of the day he's probably going to be outraged!    For ages now he's only really slept in the pram or in the car, with the occasional nap with me on the big bed (after about an hour of fussing, trying to sleep on my face, kicking me in the ribs). I think it's going to be hard to introduce that routine but I suspect that I should try to make him sleep in his cot initially so he learns that this is nap time. Hopefully once he knows what to expect he'll be OK with the occasional car or buggy nap if I'm out and about... 

[becky1969]

I think to help him get a solid nap routine in place you need to start a very very structured wind down routine.  I don't know i f you have one for bedtime already, but if you don't now is a great time to start!

A wind down routine is fabulous for children because it signals to them "Hey, time to wind down! Let's get sleepy!"    And believe me, after a few weeks of doing the same routine over and over, you will see your child visibly relax the second you start your routine.  Their body knows that sweet relief is coming soon, and it just makes every part of them relax and get sleepy.

The bedtime and naptime wind down rituals should be similar, but not exactly the same.  The bedtime ritual will be longer and the naptime ritual should be fairly short - 5-10 minutes maybe?

Some things to think about putting in your routine:

*a couple of phrases that are exactly the same everytime.  I find that using the same phrase to initiate the routine  (We use "Owen! It's night-night time! Let's go upstairs!") and one right before you put out the lights (we borrowed ours from the BW books: "Night-night Mr. Sun! We'll see you when our nap is done!" or at night "Night-night Mr. Sun! All our days' adventures are done! We'll see you in the morning.")  is a great way to go.  You don't have to use those, say something that works for you, but make sure you say it exactly the same way everytime.  My son puts his little head on my shoulder right before I say our phrase at the end -- he knows what's coming, he knows it means sleep, and it makes him happy and comfortable because it's familiar.  Seriously, this is SO important and SO helpful!

*let your child 'put things to sleep'.  Some people have their child tell things in the house night-night.  We tell things in our room night-night.  This is a great way to show your child that everyone and everything needs sleep, and he's not going to miss out on anything because his favorite stuffed animals and objects are going to sleep too.  Owen loves kissing objects in the room night-night, and it gives him time to get used to the idea that it's time for bed.  He's never once cried or fussed during the ritual because he knows there's no turning back at that point! LOL! He might fuss at the bottom of the stairs in protest that he's not ready, but by the time we're at the top he knows this is it! Nap time/bed time! 

*Do things in the same order.  In other words, undress/diaper/say night-night in the same order each and every time.  Being predictable is so helpful to kids!  Again, it helps their minds and bodies wind down in preparation for sleep.  If everything happens in a different order, they don't know if they've got 5 minutes until they're in their crib or 5 seconds! So be as predictable as possible.


The ritual doesn't need to be long, but it needs to be consistent and predictable.  It can involve books, singing, whatever you want.  The first sticky in this forum involves wind down routines.  Check 'em out if you need some help!

You're doing fantastic! Those EWs are about licked which is fantastic! Getting a solid nap in place will be fantastic for your son and your whole family.  Please don't beat yourself up for not recognizing OT earlier.  There are a gazillion books written about children and sleep and its because it's difficult to recognize OT! Just be happy you've figure it out now, and now work on getting a nice solid nap routine in place.  This will also be so helpful for you once Baby #2 comes! And we'd all be pleased to help you get that baby on a solid sleeping foundation from Day 1. 

[Sima]

Becky, sorry to interrupt..but my lo is 19 months and recently got into a very OT cycle.  My lo will catnap in evening..is that just as good. 
I had fixed her nap and BT...and disaster!
She started with EW and resisting sleep too. 
Naps are short too.  Prior to OT, she took 1.15 min-2 hour naps and slept 11 hours a night.
What awake time is recommended at her age?  I am totally confused.  Thanks you!

[RACHPEM]

Sorry to tag on but we are having the same problems! We are getting ew regardless of what I seem to do,  we have reverted back to 2 naps i the hope of pushing bedtime out but she still wakes at the same time 4.50-5.15 ish most days and last nght she would bnot sleep til 8pm.  She only sleeps 1.5 hrs in total in the day either split or in full.  Please help these ew are killing me.  Hi Siria, sorry to see you are still here, lets hope we get some advice.
Rachael x

[Iris75]

Again, thank you so much for your reply Becky. We do have a nighttime routine, although it isn't that long yet. It goes like this:

* dinner around 5.30pm
* play from about 6pm
* 15 minutes of programme of his choice (although we have sometimes not done that when it was getting too late) until about 6.45pm
* Say night-night to the TV characters at 6.45pm
* "time for night-night and bubbles" (this is what he calls his bath...)
* Bathtime with Daddy at 6.45 - 7.05pm
* Out of bath, PJs on, then say night-night to Daddy
* To his room, sleeping bag on, then milk on Mama's lap
* in his cot and night-nights at about 7.15pm

I managed to stick with the routine these last few days and he's got a lot better with accepting that I will leave once he's in his bed. He will still call out a few times and I usually answer him once or twice, but then try not to so he doesn't keep himself awake by calling out all the time. He is usually asleep within 20-30 minutes or so.

That said, we are back to 6 am wakes... I think I might know what happened, but I would really like your input and opinion if what I am guessing is right:

This weekend we had friends visiting, meaning there were a lot of trips out, both on Saturday and on Sunday. Both times he fell asleep in the car at around 10 am but woke up once we arrived 30 - 50 minutes later. He then played well but fell asleep again on the way back, around 3 or 4 pm and managed to sleep for another hour or so. He then went to bed at the usual time. On Sunday he had some problems falling asleep and woke up again half an hour after later, probably because of that late nap. He then slept through on both nights, though, but woke up early (once at 5 am but managed to then nap for another hour or so with waking up every 20 minutes, and once at 6 am).

Yesterday we brought our friends to the station. Again DS napped during that car journey around 10.30 - 11.30 am. After that I decided to keep him awake for the rest of the day to get rid of that too-late afternoon nap he had the two days previously. He got very tired around 5 pm and in the end he went to bed around 6.30 pm and managed to fall asleep within 10 minutes (a record for him!!). He slept through all night but again woke up at 6 am.

Now, while I can cope with 6 am (rather than the 4.30 - 5am we had  before), I would, for his and our sake, prefer him to sleep till 6.30 or even 7am (after all, he is still only getting around 10 hours per night with his sleep pattern right now). Do you think the earlier wakings these last few days are due to the afternoon nap he had? He didn't have that yesterday but maybe it takes a few nights for his internal clock to 'reset'?!

I'll report back on this one once I can see more of a pattern...

Re. the mid-day naps - thanks for the advice. I am really hoping that he can have a nap from 11am to 12 or 1pm every day. He does get very tired around that time, so it would be good for him if he had at least an hour then I think. When he has too little sleep he seems inclined to nap again later in the day if he gets the opportunity (in the car... see above). Hopefully I can find a routine that suits him. Maybe I can feed him some snack or lunch, followed by his milk (since he does associate that with bed-time in the evening), then close the curtains and say night-night to things? Does that sound OK?

I envision a few rather difficult days, though, before he gets the hang of it! 

[becky1969]

I believe you're right: that late afternoon nap messed up his nighttime sleep, causing those EWs again.  On the night he went to bed at 6:30, he had an 11.5 hour night!  AND he slept thru the night.  So, it sounds like if we can push his nap forward a bit, closer to noon, then we might get a 2 hour nap out of him and a regular bedtime of around 7 pm - and then waking at 6:30 or 7, which is your goal!

You're really almost there.  He did amazingly well with visitors around, IMO.  We just have to get that nap extended.  When he takes 1 nap, we need it to be at least 1.5 hours and preferably 2 hours.  He may almost be ready for that.  A nap that is an hour or less indicates OT.  So, if get the OT beat out of him then he should be able to take a longer PM nap!

It sounds like being consistent with your night routine is helping a lot in getting you out of his bedroom!  YAY!!! I think that you will have even more success if you maintain consistency.  Remember, the routine needs to be the same order every night and you need to pick a couple of phrases that initiate the routine (the 'bubbles' thing is nice!) and end the routine  -- so when you leave the room, make sure you say the same thing every time.  He then knows this is your FINAL leaving.  What I actually tell my son (b/c we had some trouble with him wanting me not to leave when he was around 18 months old) is "Night-night Owen! Mommy needs to go downstairs, but I will come right back if you need me.  Cuddle your blankey!".  I think it helps him to know that I *will* come back if the need arises.  He is adamant that I hug him before I leave, so if I forget, I will be halfway down the hall and hear "Hug! Hug!" 


The nap routine sounds fine as well -- just be sure to have a start and end phrase that is the same each and every time.  That will help him immensely.  I'd also say night-night to several things -- take him around and let him help you do that.  That gives him a chance to make the transition from being active to being sleepy.

You're getting there! I think you made it thru the disruption of having guests in the house remarkably well! That can be hard for LO -- any change to their little life is difficult for them because they don't know how long the changes are going to last! 

Goals :

1) Maintain nighttime routine; establish naptime phrases and keep routine the same.

2) Work on slowly moving morning nap forward.  The fact that he fell asleep in the car at 10:30 am tells me he was genuinely tired.  At this age, they usually have to be ready for sleep to fall asleep in the car.  Let's keep that 10:30 nap time, but wake him after 15-20 minutes so we can get a long PM nap.

3) Have 2nd nap at 2:00, waking at 3:30 at the latest.

4) Have him in his crib by 4 hours after 2nd nap waking.


Let's see how we do with these goals for the next few days! You're getting there, mom! Go back and read your first post to remind yourself of all the things we've already worked thru! Great job!


Siria and RachPM: Can one of you start a new thread? I'd be happy to help you there! But we like to keep things pretty simple so that other people can easily see what our advice is for each problem.  In the new post, make sure you provide a detailed routine  (when wake, eating schedule, nap schedule, bedtime schedule).

Thanks!

[becky1969]

You know, looking back over your last post I'm wondering if we might want to just TRY for a 1 nap day, starting at 11 am.  Now that he's sleeping a bit later than before (at least into the 6s), he may be able to make it until 11.  It's really up to you -- if he just can't make it, then do a very short (15 min) nap before 11, and then try for longer nap around 2.  But if you can do some quiet activities -reading, coloring, TV, etc. -- and keep him awake until 11, it might be a good time to try the 1 nap thing again.  If he DOES take a nap at 11, then you'll aim for about a 6/6:30 pm bedtime.

[Iris75]

Thanks Becky - I think I want to try only having one nap a day, also because I know that any more than that is going to be difficult to combine with childcare commitments (often my childminder takes him to two toddler groups a day and it's difficult fitting nap times in). I will try to get him down for a structured nap this weekend but I just can't wait until I can really tackle this when I'm on Maternity Leave.

I think 11 am or 11.30 as a time to go down for a nap would really work for us, time-wise, and it also seems to be when DS gets really really tired (no wonder, with the early starts!!), so hopefully that will work for us.

Also, an update on his EWs. This morning the time seemed to creep forward again - it was 5.45 am when he woke up. We've had this before - a few good nights, and then it would creep by 10 or 15 minutes every morning, until we were back where we started. He went to bed at his usual time yesterday evening and he hardly fussed at all - I was able to go downstairs 10 minutes after settling him down and I didn't have to go in at all, so that is going very well, but I'm so worried that he'll start waking earlier and earlier again!

This is what I did this morning when he woke up too early:

1) DH went in to settle him. He laid him back down in his cot, said that it was night time still, and left.
2) DS started crying and calling for 'Daddy'.
3) After a few minutes I went in. DS was still lying down, which surprised me. He, very grumpily, sent me out again when he realised I wasn't going to get him.

I need to say to that that for the last few days we've been very careful about the signals that we give re. getting-up time because I don't want DS to think we are giving in and getting him if he makes a fuss. When we go in to settle him we say very little, other than that it's still time for sleep. When I finally go in to get him up I go in with a cheerful 'Good Morning'. DS seems to understand the difference, so when I go in to settle him he will send me out rather sulkily, while if I go in to get him he immediately raises his arms to be picked up.

4) After I left he continued fussing and calling for 'Daddy' (probably because it is usually DH who will get him in the end), but he didn't cry fully and eventually fell silent.
5) after 5 minutes or so, the same happened - fussing, crying a little, calling for 'Daddy', then he fell silent again for 5 or so minutes.
6) This continued until 6.30 am, which was the time I had set for myself. When we got there I waited until he started fussing again, then went in, said 'good morning', at which point he beamed at me happily and stretched out his arms.
7) I took him to our bed, which is our morning routine, and we had a cuddle and read some books until about 7 am.

Do you think this is a good course of action re. the EWs? I've also ordered one of these kids' clocks that tell little children when it's time to get up through different images of animals that sleep or are running around. I heard that some people here had success with these...

I'm just so worried that tomorrow he'll wake up at 5.30 am and then at 5.15 am and so on, regardless of how I treat his EWs - we've been there, and it's so disheartening when that happens!

[becky1969]

First off, YAY on the 10 minutes to settle down!!!!! Are you not so exctied??? Do you remember how you were tied to his door for so long? This is AWESOME news! Here's my celebratory dance : ****...***.*.*!   

OK. Now for those EWs.  I think you handled it perfectly.  WTG on not getting him up.  I love the clock idea, and definitely think it's worth a try.  He's testing the waters by calling you every 5 minutes; he's saying "now is it time? Now?  How about now?"    Let's give him a visual cue.

Lastly, we're still dealing with OT.  I think you're going to have to get those naps totally fixed before you can kiss EWs goodbye.  So, don't think of this as being a permanent thing; it WILL get better once we get 1 good long nap in him each and every day.  He's still fighting being OT, even though he's falling asleep better than ever before.  But he's still coming up short for the total day's sleep, which is leading to that EW.

So, get a clock and do something cute with it! I think they also sell alarms that have a light come one slowly -- kind of like a sunrise? -- that might work fantastically for a young toddler.  Then he has a VISUAL cue that it is mornign time and he can get up.

WTG mom! You are making super great progress.  We'll just have to keep working on getting the nap solid, and then you'll be done! But I'm so pleased that you have him falling asleep all on his own! That is a HUGE milestone! And you've just taught him a skill that he can use the rest of his life.  I'm proud of you!

[RACHPEM]

Hi Becky ,I am just bumping this up, I have posted another thread asking for help with my ew's if you get chance and dont mind would you take a look?
cheers
RachPem

[Iris75]

Thanks Becky. I really feel we've come a long way. Last night DS again settled down almost immediately - he likes to call me once or twice after I have left the room and I stick around for a few minutes for that, but after maybe 5 minutes or so I can go downstairs and although I am sure he isn't asleep by then he doesn't mind me going (I'm sure he can hear me going down the stairs - they creak!).

Regarding his EW - I think he really is coming round to the idea that he can't just get up whenever. This morning he woke up at 5.55 am again and started crying. DH went in to settle him and because he wouldn't settle down I went in a few minutes later. He seemed quite upset (more angry than frightened, though), but wouldn't let me stay with him. He pushed me away and then, as I turned to go and said night-night again I saw him lying down on his own. He cried for maybe a minute longer, then stopped. I didn't sleep again because I was listening out for him, but for about 10 minutes I didn't hear a thing. After that he started talking to himself and (I assume) the teddies in his bed for another 10 minutes or so. By that point it was 6.20 am. He then started to occasionally call out to us again and when it turned 6.30 am DH went in to get him. He was not upset by that point, just happy to see us and start the day.

I really get the feeling the clock might help him a lot. He seems to understand the concept that there is a specific time to get up but since he doesn't know what time it is he just doesn't know when is the right time! As you have said, he is just trying to figure out when is the right time to finally  get up. Can't wait for the clock to arrive and to try it out...

Not much else to report - I will work on the nap time issue at the weekend so I'll let you know how that goes... Thanks so much for all your help and support so far, though - we've come a long way since the late evenings with me chained to DS's side and the EWs *yawn*