I am so desperate, can someone help me?

[RACHPEM]

just to update, she literally fell asleep on my lap at 11am today so I put her down and she slept just under an hr ! now what???
Rachael x

[lesorl]

hi rachael-

sorry you are still struggling, you must be exhausted 

for today, i'd try for a late afternoon catnap (maybe 20 mins?) around 4pm, and then bed about 1.45 after she wakes.  if she doesn't take a catnap, i'd put her to bed at 5pm.  i'm sure that concerns you, as you'll expect a wake up at 4am, but it sounds like Maya is super OT.  have you been doing wi/wo when she wakes?  i'd be tempted to do some kind of ap, just to get her some more sleep.

(((hugs))) in the meantime.

leslie

[yaya]

hugs sweetie I feel your pain.
I would give the homeopathy a go and have u heard of millpond?

http://www.mill-pond.co.uk/

[RACHPEM]

Just updating, if anyone is still listening to me moan! Maya only took an hr yesterday although she was awake at 4.30 I still did not put her to bed until 7pm as hubby came home early and he totally disagrees with early bed anyway she slept til 5.30!!!! which is so much better however still only 11.5 hrs given her shorter nap and 7hrs pre bedtime, what is going on with this child of mine?
Rachael x

[bethanys mummy]

So sorry sweetie, had not abandoned you, B was going for x13 NW nights in a row + conjunctivitus so was bit tied up, but I am back!!

I guess I come back to ignoring A times and clock times at the moment and asking how she seems in herself. Is she still miserable on waking? seems tired? drops off easily in the car  if been up for 2+ hours? how is she settling for naps / bed time now?

This to me helps you decide if you can carry on with trying to have a fixed day and accept that she will vary between longer nights and longer naps, or tackle potential OT with occasional early bed times etc

HUGS again

[RACHPEM]

Ok, where to start! She fell asleep in car on the way back from town today at 11am yes she is miserable on waking and most of the day she has a very wilful streak and is much worse when not had much sleep.  I am not sure if she is more difficult because she is tired or because I am but at the moment I hate being mom as I am even to tired to do the fun stuff, and obssessing over sleep wears me out too.  I am so sorry to go on but my sanity is is real jepoday here and I hate being a snappy mom and dont want maya to see me upset all the time either.
Rachael x

[bethanys mummy]

hmm, falling asleep on way BACK from town when been awake from 5.30 seems reasonable! Not sign of it on the way?

If she happier going down for naps / sleep?

When you say much worse when not had much sleep do you mean by her standards or the average??

And when you say miserable on waking, how exactly is she? What I mean is that B rarely wakes up happy and babbling, even when she has had lots of sleep, shes a grumpy waker like her mummy! she moans a bit then calls for company. But when OT she moans and crawls round the cot, lies back down allot then gets back up again and again ie trying to resettle and cant

sorry for questions, just trying to get some clues!!!

and i totally understand about your obsession and depression, it must be really wearing you out

[yaya]

rach hun, massive hugs, It really hurst to read your posts as I know all too well how you feel..... i did EVERYTHING i could to sort out DD's sleep so i feel your frustration. Have you spoken to her pead about it all?

[RACHPEM]

Hi yes I went to the doc's today tbh I have been trying for ages and no one seems to care, today I went to the pharmacy and asked there and broke down and then went to my clinic to see someone and they said they were too busy so I broke down there too and refused to leave.  Anyway I got to see a midwife who said 9hrs is good sleep! although they have said they will help me with my issues which I appreciate however the sleep issue is what is making me lower and until that is fixed I dont know what to do.
Rachaelx

[bethanys mummy]

oh hun, I do understand. Both my DD's had digestive issues as babies which went on for months and all I really ever got was "they will grow out of it" which of course they do but it rules your life, you just want an answer!!!! seriously they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture and thats what you are going through. I cried any time a HV asked me how I was....

and although you love your little one, being so tired will impact on all your feelings

The problem  as well is HVs will only say leave them to CIO which I assume you dont support and I am not sure it would work anyway. Have you checked out the link above, may be worth a try, but dont think we have abandoned you or all hope.

are you doing the basics - taking it in turn with DH (or MIL occasionally), having a lie in etc. I KNOW you dont want to do this forever and want a solution but it will help your energy levels

E x

[becky1969]

Rach, I'm giving you soooooo much love.  So, do you have a dx of digestive issues? She's behaving as if she WANTS sleep; a child who is good with 9 hours of sleep would act happy! Not fall asleep in the car or be wound up (like we know all 1 year olds can get wound up).

My son had awful reflux as a baby and then had a lot of sensitivities to foods as well.  His sensitivities usually caused him to get stomach aches and/or runny poo.  We never saw rashes or the classic signs of a full-blown allergy.  But it was enough to cause him pain and disrupt his sleep.  Have you ever thought of taking her to a naturopath?  They often can look at DELAYED reactions to foods (rather than an instant allergy/reaction), which may be something that is disrupting your DD's sleep.  The fact that she's never been a very good sleeper makes me wonder if she's got an underlying sensitivity that is giving her tummy aches or discomfort.  Sometimes even a minor reaction will cause a child discomfort.

Girl, lots of love.  Anyone in your position would feel just as you do.  I suffer from chronic migraines, and I know when I'm in a bad h/a phase (days and days of headaches) I am not able to properly enjoy being a mom.  That's only natural! The PP is right -- get some help in.  Hire a teenager to come over for an hour in the afternoon to allow you to nap or just have some time to yourself.  Here, a teenager only costs $5/hour.  Even in households where money is tight, most people can come up with the $5 to get back some sanity.  It's worth it, even if you have to cut back on something else.  Please take care of yourself.  We will do our best to help you with the sleep, but in the meantime do whatever you can to get the rest YOU need. 

[jcsmom]

(((HUGS)) (((HUGS))) and more (((HUGS))). I know all too well how hard it is to function on such little sleep.
Have you ever tried osteopathy? I have spoken to several moms recently who swear it has fixed all that ails their child. I am thinking I am going to take this route myself as 18 months of no sleep is killing me softly. Do get some help in. My mom comes every Thursday. I never sleep, but I do get some down time for shopping or just watching tv. Speak to your doctor as well about how you have been feeling about your sanity. I know all too well about being obsessed about sleep and it running your life and taking over your every thought. Feel free to send me a message if you need to talk or vent.

[Mama2boys]

hugs rachael...I wish I had any better ideas...but you know of my ongoing struggle with Ds and sleep....

[RACHPEM]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all your support.  i do feel a litle better today and hubby is off tommorow and the weekend so that will take some pressure off too.  I dont know what I would do without your help, it just helps to talk sometimes.  Jc's mom we tried osteopathy when she was younger and it did not work for us obviously!
Last night she was so tired by about 5pm but I stretched her out til 7pm again and we got 1 nw at around 10.30 for an hr however she is still a little congested and I had been giving meds the last few nights but did not last night as I thought it had cleared up so that and a combi of OT prob contirbuted to the nw.  She still woke at 5.10 but how weird is this she was happy when she woke and not crying like normal just shouted mom and dad for about an hr on and off and I went in at 6.10! so at least i could still rest.  Wonder if this was because her dad was the one that settled her last night, and she knows he ignores her more where I am more of a soft touch?
I still think that even though she is getting less sleep than she should be I think she stills needs less than average so I may have to go cold turkey and stretch bed time out a little and hope this leads to a later start after a wk but obs this could backfire big time also!!!
Rachael x

[Vicku]

Big big hugs Rachael! I know this must be so so hard on you and it's not strange at all that you're feeling like you do. Sleep deprivation is the worst thing! You can only take it for so long... I agree about getting some help in, you shouldn't have to cope on your own and DH's help might not be enough to get you all through this.
I had a friend who took her DD to an Osteopath for colic and it really made a difference so maybe it could help Maya too to sleep better. If you decided to try this look for someone with a lot of experience with babies/young children. I also agree thatit might be worth going to a naturopath and look for food sensitivities. There is so much available outside of traditional medicine. You musn't give up though honey!
Must have been so hard to go to the clinic without really being heard
My DD also have only slept 8.5 and 9hrs the last few nights (instead of 10.5) and I really notice the difference already in her mood as she's not had enough rest.
Is it always you who go to her in the am? Agree that you should try to have some lie ins (with ear plugs!) as at least that will help you deal with things without feeling as though you're going insane.
All my love sent!