Hello, I'm new here and am the serious perpetrator of some accidental parenting. There are so many bad habits we have going on now, I just don't know where to start. So I'll start with the biggest problem which is the frequent night feeding.
But first, some background so you can understand how I've got to where I am and why there may be some problems sorting things out. Jacob was born 12 March so he's just shy of 6 months. From birth he fed every 2 hours (formula). He is a very oral baby and from early days could find his fingers and suck.
When he was 6 weeks old we (DH, myself, baby and 2yr old) had to move in with my inlaws as my husband is in the last few months of finishing his PhD and we needed to save money. We are all moving to the USA this winter (I'm American, he's British). Living with the inlaws presents some problems that make addressing some of the bad habits hard - more on that shortly!
The every 2 hour feeding continued until we tried tanking him up around 4 months. This sort of worked. He would only feed every 3-4 hours which was a huge improvement! At 17 weeks we started him on solids with my HV's approval. Jake is a tank. He's almost 22 pounds and wears clothes for 1 year olds! He's long as well as chunky. But shortly thereafter he went back to feeding every 2 hours at night.
Here's my attempt to answer some of the questions suggested:
How old is your child? 6 months
What’s his/her daily routine? Jake feeds and sleeps on demand. Sadly, ther is no set routine yet.
What’s nap routine? He rarely sleeps for more than an hour or 2 at a time during the day. usually on the lower side.
How long are naps? as above
What's bedtime routine? Time? see below
Do you bottle or breastfed? bottle
How much? or how long? Jake takes approximately 42-48 ounces in a 24 hour period. According to my HV, that's too much.
How many wakes per night? every 2 hours, sometimes less!
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? Fussy. If I try to hold him off with a dummy or other gentle distraction it only works for a while before he gears up for a proper scream. I'm now so tuned in to the early signs, that he never gets very far and usually falls back asleep (never wakes properly?) quite easily after taking some milk. He takes anywhere from 1-4 ounces these days at a time.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? as above I think. not sure what a mantra cry is.
What have you tried to settle?? yes!!
What do you do for A time and how long is it? We chat, change his nappy, play with toys, interact with big brother, granny, etc.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? teething, growth spurts?
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) Yes, in addition to all that milk he takes, he also takes 2-3 meals a day (not teaspoons, proper jars!). HV said to do it as he's so big. He didn't start out like this, but that's what he's worked up to.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? dummy
So here are the other complications: he sleeps with me. This started when he was tiny and we intended to get him off this once he started sleeping better but he never did! I simply don't have the energy to get up and get him out of his cot every time he wakes. It's a chicken and egg problem. Do I address the feeding isses first or the sleeping issues?! To clarify the set up, we have 2 twin beds pushed together (making use of MIL's furniture). He sleeps on one bed, I'm on the other so he's not cuddled next to me, but surely senses my presence.
We have limited space and have been reluctant to risk messing up our toddlers PERFECT routine. But, our bedroom is too small for a cot and our bed. But with Jake waking so often, we don't dare put him in with his brother. Another reason he stays sleeping with me.
Jake has a rocker chair that he spends a lot of time in. He's fed in it and naps in it. I have not tried to put him in a cot for a nap yet for the reasons mentioned above. I could put him on our bed (it's large and he can't roll yet) but that is a bit risky. At night he is downstairs with me until late (usually sleeping from about 8 on). I take him upstairs around 11 and change and feed him. This routine came about at 4 months when we used that 11ish feed as a dream feed. But we had to wake him somewhat as if he were too asleep he would not feed at all.
In short, we've found ourselves doing everything wrong and have no idea what to do. Also bearing in mind there will undoubtedly be serious regression when we move in December.
I'm slowly going insane here!
Can anyone offer any advice?!
Sorry this is so long and rambly. Chalk it up to serious sleep deprivation!
The one bit of good news is that Jake is a real sweetheart. The lack of solid sleep, for some reason, does not seem to affect his temperment and he is almost always good natured. He only really grizzles or cries when hungry or trying to fight sleep.
OK, I'll shut up now! Thanks for reading!
