my guess would be that she threw up because she was upset, with my DD it unfortunately doesn't take much to get to that point, she gets to full-blast crying very quickly and if she's distressed she can easily vomit. Could it be possible that the reason DH had such great success in the day time with your dd was because she knew that you weren't home and so it wasn't an option to have you put her to bed? I find that with my DD there is NO WAY she will let DH do important things like bedtime for her when i'm in the house. Perhaps if you went out for the evening (even if its just round the corner so you can get home quickly if she gets very distressed) and she had her dinner, bath etc without you at home she might be more accepting of the fact that her dad puts her to bed??
Another thought is that for my DD (now 16 months), at the age of about 10 months till about 14 months was her most clingy age (and i mean EXTREMELY clingy). I could hardly get DH to even read her a story in the middle of the day if i was around...she'd cry and want to sit on my lap. It was really hard for those few months, she just didn't want anyone but me for about 99% of the day. It was hard for DH too as he felt hurt that she wouldn't let him comfort her, or even play with her at times. I honestly started feeling like I couldn't even leave her with her own dad for short times during the day because she acted like I was abandoning her forever. It could be that your DD is just going through that sort of stage at the moment. Heaps and heaps of mum's i've spoken to say that around 12 months is a really tricky time. If its any encouragement, at about 15 months DD suddenly became SO much more secure, happier to be left with other people, enjoyed time with DH so much more and just wasn't clingy anymore. Now she plays by herself in her cot or the playroom for ages and doesn't need to know where I am at every second of the day. What is your LO like generally at the moment?? I use my DDs daytime temperament as a bit of a guide to how much to expect of her at night/sleep times. If she's clingy like crazy and wants to be held lots and is really fragile, i know that its probably not the time to be changing her nighttime routines or reducing the amount of comfort or assistance I give her at sleep time. Thats not to say that you shouldn't be aiming to eventually have her be more independent, but sometimes I think if its not the right timing we are probably better off just waiting for a month or so and our LOs may be in a much better place to cope with the changes we want to make. You may be able to achieve success now, but you might spend a whole month of everyone feeling pretty wretched with the process, whereas if you wait a month or so you might find that it takes less time and is less exhausting for everyone. I guess use your gut instincts as to whether this is the best time for making big changes - not that i'm saying it isn't, but don't feel that just because she isn't independent at sleep times that you have to fix it asap or you aren't being a good parent. I'm sure you're doing such a great job and you will get through this.
Anyway, thats just a thought, sorry to hear its been so hard.
Jessie
