JudyM and J&J's Mom - really hope that things are starting to look a little better for you both!
Things are still not so great for us here, but I'm persevering. We had a bad week the week before last, with lots of no naps/30-45min naps and much crying (see my thread here:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=132981.0), but since then we appear to have tackled his naps. However, nights continue to be bad, and I'm not sure why.
The day we got back from hols, he slept for 1h45mins in the car on the way home - and then had two further 1h45min naps during the day - no waking at the 30/45min marks, hardly any crying when I settled him. Since then he's done a couple of 1h45min naps again, but is tending to wake up earlier (varies anywhere between 1h15 and 1h45). He seems to be getting through the 30/45min transitions ok, just some squeaking or brief fussing and I don't have to go in to him.
We're also on a 3.5h EASY now, which he seems to be ok with.
But nights are a different story. First, he keeps waking before we have the chance to give him his dreamfeed - we can usually settle him quickly again either by giving him his dummy or by shh-stroking (our variation on shh-pat which involves stroking his head!), but if it's close to his DF he's often up again within 20mins or so, and we end up giving his 'dreamfeed' early (EBM of 5oz at the moment; he can take more but I haven't been able to pump enough) - it hasn't been a proper dreamfeed for ages now as he's awake or semi-awake throughout.
Then he keeps waking, not at the same times always but often close to 1am, again somewhere between 1 and 3, at 3ish (at which I feed him), and then he's good for another couple of hours but starts making noises from 5 onwards. This isn't always an EW - in fact I have gone to check on him several times when he's been moaning loudly to find that he's actually still asleep. Then he usually wakes for the day between 6 and 7.
I have been wondering whether he is addicted to his dummy (as it will often calm him instantly and send him straight back to sleep), and have been removing it before he falls asleep as per the gentle removal method, only letting him have it for as long as it takes him to calm down. I haven't had to replace it yet - I've just been pulling it out and he smacks his lips, looks blearily at me, and continues going off to dreamland. I don't know whether this means anything though or whether the NWs could indeed be due to dummy addiction, because when he wakes at night, it is difficult to settle him without the dummy (apart from a feed that is). I keep second-guessing myself here because although he seems to settle really quickly with it, on the other hand there's the fact that he can continue going to sleep without it when I first get him down, and also because he's making it through his sleep transitions during the day without it. I'm confused
Any thoughts?
Thanks so much for your continuing support.
EDIT:
I've been reflecting and am wondering whether it could be one or more of a few things?
(a) Not eating enough during the day - he is quite distractible and impatient for a faster flow and will either get distracted or fuss until he gets another let-down. I was previously doing single-sided feeding but when he started crying for more (kept latching on and off and crying), which stopped when I switched sides, I am now offering both sides at every feed (I offer the 2nd when he absolutely refuses to eat any more from the 1st, rather than after a set time). He seems to drain each breast within 10 minutes, but it's really difficult to determine whether he's eating enough. I particularly wonder this because I think he can actually go more than 3.5h between feeds, but he isn't ready for a 4h EASY just yet as he can't yet handle the consistently longer A times, so maybe he just isn't hungry enough to take a proper feed?
(b) The second is that his final A time is I think ending up too long. He is doing 2+ hours in the AM, then about 1h45 for the rest of the day unless he hasn't napped properly, but he's then awake from around 5pm until falling asleep between 7 and 7.30. If I feed him at around 5pm I've been trying to last at least 1h30mins before topping him up, in an effort to make his last feed last longer (as he's been waking up before his DF and I wasn't sure whether it was due to hunger). But he takes a while to feed so by the time we're done and he's in bed, it's 2+ hours since his last nap.
(c) The DF itself. It hasn't actually been a 'dream' feed in a long while and I wonder whether it is helping or hindering his sleep? He seems to wake in anticipation for it (if that is an appropriate interpretation of his waking beforehand, typically between 9.30 and 10pm), and I recall a time before we introduced a proper EASY and the DF, when he actually slept through until 6-8 hours after his last feed of the evening (around 5-6 hours after he'd fallen asleep). Although that could equally have been because he was exhausted and was crashing out. Hmmm.
Arrgggghhh too many possibilities!
