Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2

[EloysH]

we are having a shocker at the moment too. DS 1 woke at 5am today argh!  I had to let him sleep for 3 hours today, now I done it! daylight savings hurry up and arrive and solve all my problems!!!!!

[EloysH]

J & J Mum: daylight savings starts 4th oct, woo hooo!  I;d say with EW toddlers we are well placed for the change.  just got to start getting them into bed a little earlier.

[J & J's Mum]

I know, I can't wait!!!

Jacob woke up coughing at just after 5........so woke Jessie up!  I'd been in there to W2S (I thought I'd start that....anything!!) but she was fully awake!  I took Jacob out, but that was it, she was wide awake!  I do think that with both of them sharing is causing the problem, plus this silly cough he's got!  Roll on the day we can move in to our house

[olkan]

Hi Ladies,

Wondered if anyone could share the thoughts. DD is almost 22 months, she's a bad napper but normally good night sleeper. We've had a nightmare 13-16 months (guess because of teething) with 4:50 - 5:30 w/u regardless of any effort. She still slept well during the night most nights, and went to bed on her own most of the times. I just kept her bedtime as early as we could afford given I'm not at home until 6:15, so it was 7:00. Then out of the blue she went back to her standard 6:30 - 7:00, which was a blessing.
Now it's 6th week we are back to 5ish, and she recently gradually cut her nap first from 1h 30 min to 1 h 15 min, now to 1h 05 min precise as a clock. She's teething molars too, so I've figured I just need to ride it out. Well into this EW stage we also moved house, and I thought what the heck it can't be worse and moved her to a BGB, which she took really well.
She really wants to go to bed at 6 pm, so by the time we get to bed at 6:45-7.00 she's asleep in 2 minutes. She goes to bed on her own always, and hardly ever wakes at nights (knock on wood).

This is what worries me:
When she wakes up in the morning she cries for me right away. She would go hysterical if I don't come, she just figured she can get out of bed so I'm yet to face the consequences of the newly discovered freedom. Anyway, I would go in and she would NEVER settle in bed, and cry if I don't take her out, an then I hold her on my lap for up to an hour!!. She never sleeps but sort of dozes off and on for that hour, up until it's 6:15 - 6:30, when she's all refreshed and wants to start the day. So how much of her EW is teething, and how much is a bad habit of spending further hour with the me?? I've had similar things from time to time when she learned it was fun with me standing by her falling asleep, and demanded it PAST illness, but I tackled it relatively well with GW or WI/WO. Well when it's night YOU KNOW she will eventually be asleep. In the mornings I am so not sure about sleep training, as I KNOW SHE WILL NOT. So I don't feel right depriving her of this extra hour of "sort-of-sleep", just afraid that would be the last straw to go OT (I could see she's tired already).
Any thoughts please?

I'm due with the 2nd one in a few weeks, really exhausted with these EWs, and can't really see what a nightmare it's going to be when I won't be able to come to her in the morning because of feeding of the LO... So really hoped to get it on a better track before 2nd one arrives.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!!!

[anna*]

Some of us have had some good success with a light on a timer to let her know when it is OK to call for mummy (light on) and when it is still time to lay down quietly (light is off). I have a Groclock and my son (chronic EWer from 10-25 months) now sleeps more at 28 months than he did at 18 months! We put a gate on his bedroom door to prevent him running out. When he woke in the morning I stayed quiet because I told him mummy is sleeping when he can see the moon on his clock. If he got really upset I would call out to him that it is still time to sleep, he must stay in his bedroom until the sunshine is on his clock. It took a few weeks to get the hang of it but it has been BRILLIANT

[olkan]

Thanks Anna!! I was thinking about it, at what age did you give him the clock?
I wonder what you do if she doesn't get up and just cries for me in bed, I normally give it a minute or two to see if she'd settle, but if she sat up, she normally wouldn't.
My LO scared me during the nap today, she woke up, quietly opened the door (she recently learned to work out the door knob and went downstairs on her own, I was in the bedroom next door and only heard her downstairs, even with monitor on) - so my DH is urgently putting the gate at the stairs now

So far she doesn't really want to come to our bedroom in general, but I guess you are right and we'd need to put another gate on her bedroom door.

[anna*]

I think around 21 months, but it took a while for him to really get the hang of it (we were also dealing with him coming out of his bedroom all the time) it took quite a few weeks of ironing out before I could say he was consistently and regularly waking up at a reasonable time. You might want to check out this thread too: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=167745.90;topicseen

If Stan was crying for me, I leave him for as long as possible. Just like if he was a baby, I listen out for the crying to escalate. If he is just crying 'I want my mummy' over and over, I'll leave him, only go to him if he is getting REALLY upset. Then I say to him that it is still sleep time, mummy has to sleep, the moon is on his clock and he needs to be quiet until the sunshine comes out. Stan likes to sleep with his door slightly open, so if he continues to fuss and cry, I tell him oh dear, this is too noisy, mummy can't sleep I will have to shut your door.

[olkan]

Grrr was just reading the description and the light is on all the time on this clock. Tessa sleeps in pitch black room (at least now), I have a small night-light cat, and she demands to switch it off when she goes to bed... Will try to look if there are alternatives which are touch or sound activated...

[anna*]

You don't need a special clock, you could have a night light or a string of fairy lights on a timer switch.

[annette.xx]

just wanted to start the ball rolling again on this thread as loads of us with EWs at the moment on these boards!!

any advice on how to handle doing just one nap when you get an EW but still sticking to a set bedtime? I work in the week so cant get her to bed before 7pm and MIL just cannot get dd to take 2 naps so its one nap or nothing but its an awful long day from 5/5.30 am through to 7pm especially when she only naps 1 hr 10/20 (OT nap) and then  10 hrs night sleep means just 11 - 11 1/2 hrs total sleep its just not enough is it!!!

im thinking of just sticking to a A time that I know gets a decent(ish!!) nap and then just pushing her through until 7pm bedtime so probably a 7 hr last A time but by keeping her first A time to 4 1/2 to 5 hrs max she will normally sleep 2 hrs so much better than pushing her first A time out and getting just over an hour nap...

what do you think? Or is there another way?!!!

at least im not alone!!

Annette.xx

[annette.xx]

sorry just wanted to add shes nearly 15 months.

Annette.xx

[Tweakster]

Annette you are not alone - clearly :-)

We have the same issue you have, up at 5ish and bed by 7 with a 1.5 hr nap at daycare and some catch up on the weekends.  We could do a slightly earlier bedtime most days but really it doesn't really seem to help anything.

My opinion is to stick it out...she'll get through this and adjust...you think it's not enough sleep but really you will do your head in trying to sneak in an extra 1/2 hour to an hour and really at what success rate?  If you want to do a long PM A time just remember it tends to be the bigger cause of OT, the later you can do the PM nap I think you would be better off.

But then again my kid wakes at 4:50 most days so who wants to listen to me lol?

[anna*]

I agree with Wendy. Is she miserable? If you're at work, there's really not much you can do, so she'll either adapt to the amount of sleep she's getting (this is what Stan got for his entire second year), or will start to sleep later in the morning or longer for her nap. I'd do the nap at about 12.30. You could try doing the AM nap after 4.5hrs A, but do it on a weekend so that you can do an early bedtime if she doesn't sleep long. And get to bed early yourself!

I woke up at 5.30 this morning and went to the loo, and saw Stan's bedroom light was on and peeked in on him. He was lying there awake. I told him to turn off his light and he did. Based on the bumps I hear in the night, I'm sure he still wakes up between 4.45-5.30, but he's learnt (in the end) to go back to sleep. So I guess that's the other thing you can do with her (which I wish I had done with Stan), is leave her in her cot until 6.30am (or 6am, or whatever time you decide is reasonable).

Will she go back to sleep with a bottle at 5.am?

[annette.xx]

Hey anna...long time no speak!

she is still reasonably happy most of the time so maybe im just worrying about sleep totals far too much!

I too wish I had let her stay in her room until a normal time but now she just screams blue murder until I get her out of bed! she wants BF straight away and then wants me to read about a hundred books!! seriously she LOVES her books so much but only if mummy is flicking the pages so she can keep me awake!

I think maybe I need to find a way to get her to stay in her room but I dont know how? she just gets soooo upset when I leave - any ideas on how I handle this ladies?

thanks
Annette.xx

[anna*]

I think you just have to be tough. Do Walk In Walk Out, tell her it's still sleep time, and keep in mind that she is not scared or hurting, just angry that you won't get her out of bed! With a bit of luck, once she realises that you won't get her out of bed until a decent time, she'll stop bothering waking up.