Author Topic: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2  (Read 166633 times)

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Offline anna*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #165 on: July 02, 2010, 19:56:52 pm »
The main ones seem to be:
Maintaining an 11.5-12 hour night - so early bedtimes.
Pushing the first nap of the day out, or maintaining the time (ie not giving an 8am nap to a 5am riser)
Not giving bottle/getting up/cuddles/attention etc until the designated acceptable wake up time.
Pain meds in the early hours of the morning if teething pain is a suspected culprit
White noise to drown out early morning sounds
Comfort/temperature (temperature often dips in the very early morning)
Wake to sleep if the waking seems habitual

I'm sure there are others!





Offline saltyqueen

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #166 on: July 02, 2010, 20:09:52 pm »
Thanks Anna! So if a kid is waking at 5:30 AM, you would want that kid in bed asleep by 5:30 or 6? I can see how that might get you some extra sleep at the beginning of the night, but how would that change the wake up time? Or is the idea to extend the nighttime sleep first and then gradually shift the schedule forward so that bedtime and wake up time get later?

What about the AM A time? I thought that I read that if the nap is too late in relation to wake up time that that could somehow contribute to the EW problem. Is that not correct?

Thanks a lot for sharing!! 

Offline squeakersmum

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #167 on: July 02, 2010, 20:18:41 pm »
Well - I've been kidding myself for far too long and feel that I just have to join this thread!

Although he's not as bad as some DS is having far more before 6am mornings.  His bedtime has always been 7.45 - 8pm so that he actually gets to see DH before he goes to bed.

He's having some bedtime refusal and messing about recently and sometimes is having very short nights because of this (last night for example he didn't go to sleep until 9.15pm and was awake at 5.15am - so 8 hours...not even enough for me!!  (not that I've had that luxury in the last 19 months, lol)

We seem to either get NW or EW - sometimes I find myself actually hoping for a NW so that we can all go back to sleep until a decent hour!

At the moment he has about 6h a time before his nap as I don't do the nap before 11.30 - he'll either do about 2 hours and wake up crying or I'll have to wake him at 2.5 (or more if he's got really OT).

Oh, and he never NEVER wakes up happy anymore.  He did used to which is why I think I definitely need to do some tweaking somewhere but it is always a bit of a whinge followed by a full on, all out wailing/crying/sobbing/screaming if he's not attended to quickly. 

So, anyway, Hi!!  *Waves hello*


Offline anna*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #168 on: July 02, 2010, 20:31:13 pm »
The hard part with EWs is keeping OT at bay. So if they wake up at 5.30am, you need an early bedtime. If they're waking at 5.30am after 11-12 hours overnight, and doing that consistently, then you can start moving the whole day backwards in 15 mins increments. Lots of EWs are caused by OT, especially if they're happening after 9.5-10.5hrs night sleep. If LO is waking at 5.30am after a 7.30pm bedtime, you're much more likely to get a later wake up from an earlier bedtime - so 6.30pm-6am.

I've not come across EWs from too late of a morning nap - I daresay it happens sometimes (every variable happens!), but it's not a big pattern I don't think.

((((hugs)))) to all the mamas of early waking toddlers. There is hope. My LO was a chronic early waker for the longest time (don't worry! Most people don't have to cope with it for as long as I did!) but now I have to wake him up most days!





Offline squeakersmum

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #169 on: July 02, 2010, 20:36:41 pm »
I remember the threads, Anna! - So pleased that things have ironed out! (well, at least until he throws you another curve ball eh?)


Offline *Jo*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #170 on: July 04, 2010, 10:29:42 am »
Hi girls *waves* im joining you in here, i have a thread going at the moment for help with it all but im just miserable about it and want to be with some people who are in the same boat. we are getting 10-10.5 hour nights, only 1.5 hour naps in the day and ive been trying a bunch of things, however the culprit is teeth, now illness as well, so its all culmulative OT... sigh....

ive tried pushing the first A time out to a semi normal naptime (we were having a set naptime of 12.30 but of course now barely making it to 11.30am) it doesnt make any difference. we are now doing early bedtimes. even after one day of a 11.5 hour night and a 2.5 hour nap he still couldnt make it to a decent bedtime so im guessing that shows the extent of his OT
so every morning between 5-5.40am hes awake. Its killing us, DH is sick as a dog, Caleb is sick and im doing EVERYTHING! my house is falling apart because im so exhausted i cant keep up wiht washing/cleaning etc





Offline Spandanna

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #171 on: July 04, 2010, 12:30:37 pm »
Hey all

I'm joining you too...things are spiralling out of control. Our 6am wake ups (which were bareable during the week and less so at weekends!) have turned into 4.30-5.30 wake ups and we fought for 2 hours to get him down for a nap today...something has gone SERIOUSLY wrong!!

Just wanted to hop on and say AAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHH

Offline Tweakster

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #172 on: July 04, 2010, 13:52:29 pm »
Oy ladies, I wish I could hug each and every one of you.  I know what it's like.  We've been doing it for over a year now :-)  There is something so different between being up at 5/5:30 to say being up at even 6 or 6:30.  It seems to make all the difference to me anyway. 

I don't want to contradict the lovely Anna because she is a veteran and my hero and basically gives me hope for Finn but I do want to let you know what has worked for us...finally.  We're not in a perfect place but certainly have had more luck than before.

We know on some level that we are only getting between 10-10.5 hours.  That's all he'll give us and really, looking back, that's all he has done.  We used to be a huge fan of earlier bedtimes, but at some stage during all this it has meant a much earlier wake-up, at times it became 4:45/5 or even earlier - we have learned that he does not tack sleep on to his nights no matter how hard we try.  We would be pulling our hair out because he was so tired in the morning but we had to go to one nap at 12 mths for daycare and really he is not one to go for a different routine on the weekends, so it meant he was pretty cranky until his nap.  Then he would do a great nap, for that we have been blessed.  But always always those 10 hour nights, sometimes even less. 

At around 10 mths I think it was, we discovered that if we gave him a bottle at his EW he would go back to sleep.  It meant he was still tired enough, it also meant that for some reason he didn't have the capacity to do it on his own, for whatever reason, he was given every self-soothing tool in the book but yet he could not roll over and go back to sleep for that last hour or so.  So we did the bottle out of desperation.  I quickly decided that was not the best route, in light of the fact that 1) he has most of his teeth (2 yr molars pending) and 2) it may turn habitual and in fact cause the EW at some point.  So after a big LONG post on here, we ditched the bottle and went for a later bedtime.  Yes that's right, a LATER bedtime.  We decided not to cut his nap because again, no tacking sleep on, so we let him nap as long as he wants (most days at home is 2 - 2.5 hrs) and then a later bedtime.

The theory for us is that he needs to be SO tired at that EW that he will go back to sleep.  He was too rested after early bedtime to do it, so the later bedtime set him up for a forced short night and he would have to learn to go back to sleep. 

And he did, over time, with some derailment for illness etc.  We now get 10.5-11 hour nights - he sleeps 7:30 - 6 or even dare I say, after 6 most nights now.  Today was 6:30!  I know some of you are thinking, but 6 is still early but as I said, it can make all the difference to your day than a kid who gets up at 5 or 5:30.  The other thing is that he grew into A times which would work best with his sleep needs.  Before that he was just sleeping less but not able to handle the times that he needed to be awake. 

Anna has covered most of the tried and true tips up there, basically do not reinforce that EW.  It's not time to start the day, leave LO in the dark and work on how to fix the issue rather than accepting that as a new wake up time.  I went through stages of accepting it and coming back here to vent and post about it, and eventually whether it was just time and development, or my attitude towards it, we have made some progress here.

If your LO has done longer nights and has just been derailed, I think you can probably rest assured that you will get back there.  It's just a phase, a stage, something is going on in their world and they need a slight reboot.  You should be able to tweak and get yourself back on track. 

If your LO is low sleep needs or just not developmentally ready to do longer nights, then you have to pick a routine that will work best for your family while maximizing sleep for your LO.
The tweaking never stops!

Offline *Jo*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #173 on: July 05, 2010, 03:36:23 am »
Wendy you are my hero, just because ive seen you go through all this with Finn and I know that everytime i have an EW i think of your little family and how you have had this for aaaaaaages and im only just having it in the last few weeks. Doesnt mean i dont try to get him back to sleep lol but when it comes to EW I know you are with me :) I know mine is just due to other circumstances but I just wanted to come here and vent.

I actually lost the plot with one of his wakings around 4.20am and cried and then when he woke up again at 5.20am (for hte day!) DH said that i could sleep in as long as i wanted.. well low and behold i woke at 9.20am!!!!! still feeling shattered but massive amounts of broken sleep will do that to ya!





Offline Spandanna

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #174 on: July 05, 2010, 17:23:26 pm »

Big hugs guys, Calebsmummy I so know what you mean about the crying, it's sometimes so hard to keep it together

We had the worst night since DS was a newborn last night. Down at 6.30 (after rubbish naps) awake at 9, 9.30 then from midnight-3.30 am then up for the day at 6.15!!...lo and behold I only slept from about 4 until 6.15...there was a lot of crying from me in that stretch from midnight until 3.30 believe me.. I just don't get it...

Has anyone else read that this can coincide with learning to walk and new independence? DS has recently started taking little steps on his own so was wondering if that could be contributing. He has a molar coming through too.... ::)

Just wanted to send out hugs to all the other sleep deprived mommys out there xxxxx

Offline olkan

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #175 on: July 05, 2010, 20:19:24 pm »
I think it's the molars, we had the worst 2 months (13-15 months) when her molars were coming - LOTS of crying at night, and 4-5 am EWs for 2 months with no breakthrough. I remember putting Baby Einstein on for her at 5:45 in the morning and getting 25 min sleep while sitting on the couch with her. And then she just went back to 6:30. So hold it there!



Offline Tweakster

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #176 on: July 05, 2010, 22:27:47 pm »
The molars were a routine killer for us.  Nightmare.  Canines were fine but those molars he was not happy with.  If I had to bet, I would bet that teeth are culprit to a lot of these EW.  Once Finn's teeth were through the EW were easier to manage in our house.
The tweaking never stops!

Offline *Jo*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #177 on: July 05, 2010, 22:43:04 pm »
ugh, another 5.20am wake up here, im so thankful for DH to let me sleep in again. I was up all night again with Caleb, waking at 9.30, 12.30, 2.20, 4.50 and finally at 5.20.

why arent these Canines actually shifting? they are just bulging at his gums, have been for two weeks!!!





Offline Tweakster

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #178 on: July 05, 2010, 22:51:45 pm »
Jo it takes time, sadly.  Teething is a real issue for some LO's.  Caleb isn't feeling himself between being ill etc. He can also tell that mummy and daddy aren't feeling great either.  We had a rough patch like that when Finn started daycare in March, it really was a nightmare, we were all sick, he was teething, I was losing my mind and posting on here left right and centre.  I was on Toddler sleep, and posting on the Couch and pretty much anywhere people would listen lol

We're here for you Jo.  You are doing what you can.  You can't make Caleb sleep, you just provide the conditions, help him if you can and that is all you can do.  And just comfort him when he needs it.  The rest is on him I'm afraid.
The tweaking never stops!

Offline *Jo*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #179 on: July 07, 2010, 03:53:53 am »
ugh another 5.20am waking today, im sick in bed with a cold so this doesnt help. the bonus is that we had no NW's last night, for the first time in about two weeks, so maybe we are slowly getting on top of it all?? just to get these stupid EW out of hte way though grrrrrr. he went to bed at 6 but refused to fall asleep till 6.30pm last night so we had to pat him to sleep, which we are now doing at every sleep situation grrrr. so just under 11 hours last night with this ridiculously early wakeup. Do you think i should do W2S seeing as it seems to be almost the exact same time every morning? or leave it a little longer till it looks like we are out of the OT a bit more?