Author Topic: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2  (Read 172189 times)

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Offline annette.xx

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #135 on: April 23, 2010, 12:09:03 pm »
do you think maybe I should buy a night light so when she wakes up I can give her a sippy of milk to feed herself? I think she wakes and is thirsty/hungry as well but obviously she cant see anything in that pitch black room so I cant get her to feed herself!

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Offline Tweakster

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #136 on: April 23, 2010, 12:20:07 pm »
Yeah was going to say tough love as well.  I need to get on this too asap.  There comes a fine line between the whole what they want vs. what they need at this age.  They don't really need anything at that time of the morning...except to get more sleep if they haven't had enough or to self-entertain if they want to be up earlier than the family norm.  But at some point they need to manage this themselves - I guess the question is when.
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Offline anna*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #137 on: April 23, 2010, 12:23:51 pm »
No harm in trying a nightlight, and a couple of toys in her cot, so she can entertain herself when she wakes up.





Offline EloysH

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #138 on: April 24, 2010, 08:30:30 am »
we got our LO to stay in cot with putting his best toys in at night after he's asleep.  He wakes about 6am and stays in there till 7am most days.  We've done it since he was about 1 year old - he's 2.5 now. 

Some days he screams to get out and we get him out, but most days he's happy to stay there. Hopefully once you do the tough love bit to implement it you will find that LO loves to be in there quietly playing. You can also encourage it by getting LO to play in the cot during the day with really really fun toys, so they learn that the cot is the BEST place to be.   We also allow access to his dummies if he goes in the cot.  So he asks several times a day to play in his cot  :D

Offline *Liz*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #139 on: April 24, 2010, 20:36:29 pm »
I belong here too  >:(. Some toddlers, hey?

Annette - J always asks for milk when he EWs but over time I have come to realise it isn't true hunger - it is purely that he knows that will get him out of bed  ::). So now I offer him a drink of water in a cup and if he flings it at me that is fine - but no milk until 6.30am.

I agree that if he is thirsty I wouldn't want him to go without a drink, but milk means mummy gets him up and once that has started he is up!! He won't drink the bottle himself lay in the cot anyway - mummy has to help with it.

One thing we do is that I will always deal with the EW so he knows that if I go in he isn't getting back up again - and DH goes in at 6.30am to get him up. It took a while but it has stopped him expecting to be lifted iyswim? Makes the whole WI/WO less painful as well as he doesn't cry anymore - just lies down when I tell him to - then stays quiet for a good 10 mins or so.

Offline annette.xx

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #140 on: April 25, 2010, 18:40:39 pm »
thanks ladies!

im going to try the toys in cot tomorrow and see how it goes - what sort of toys in cot are best?

im not sure how im going to stop the booby in morning cos ive created a monster with that one but I know I need to sort it sometime!

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Offline anna*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #141 on: April 25, 2010, 19:37:58 pm »
Honestly hun, I know it's hard but the best way to stop is just stop. If you point blank refuse to BF until 6.30am, she might stop bothering to wake up for it. She's not going to starve, she might just be really cross but 'cross' is just noisy, nothing more serious than that.

As for the best toys, whatever you think has got the best chance of engaging her to play!





Offline EloysH

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #142 on: April 27, 2010, 09:04:49 am »
whichever toys are her favourites and most likely to hold her attention....
for us its cars and stuffed toys...   you can make a big thing of it a few days before in the cot playing with those toys and tell her in the morning when she wakes up to look for her friends  and show her how to play with thme and have lots of fun,build up some anticipation and... some reprogramming  about what happens in the morning.  Then its just repitition.

Offline Tweakster

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #143 on: April 27, 2010, 10:16:01 am »
Well after unsuccessfully trying to move Finn to a later wake up for the umpteenth time we have kind of given up and are going with more of a tough love approach.  So we don't go in or acknowledge until 6 now.  We are putting his light on a timer so it will come on at 6.  He has crib toys but I realize I have not been rotating them so I need to put some new stuff in every few days.  He does kick off at points but really I know he doesn't need anything and it's stop start so we leave him.  It's hard because I just lie there awake waiting for 6 a.m. to roll on.  But as it is I am going to bed around 9/9:30 most nights, any earlier and I don't have any kind of a life :-(  It would be home from work, get Finn sorted and then off to bed myself.  That was fine when he was a newborn or infant, but now...nope. I'm taking back some Y time!

This morning was 4:40 again after a 7 bedtime, we put him down at 6:40 and he took that long to go off.  Until he learns to just put himself back to sleep at that EW I don't think he's destined for longer nights.  We've always intervened in some manner so he has had not much incentive to do it himself. 

Nothing we do helps so it's all up to him now...
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Offline *Liz*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #144 on: April 27, 2010, 10:32:02 am »
FWIW Wendy I think this is totally the right thing to do at this stage. 4.40am is ridiculous from a 7pm bedtime and you are a full time working Mum. ((hugs))

I do the same with J - I go in once and tell him no - and then just wait it out. But he doesn't really cry anymore now so I know he is getting the idea  :).

Offline annette.xx

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #145 on: April 27, 2010, 12:20:18 pm »
that sounds like a great plan wendy...

im so soft I cant bear to hear her cry - she starts proper screaming once she has been awake and on her own a few minutes so how do I handle this? when I walk in thats it if i leave its hysterics!! ooohhhhh what to do!!

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Offline anna*

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #146 on: April 27, 2010, 12:24:19 pm »
You could just open her door a crack and sit with your back to the door, so she can see you and hear you but she's not getting any interaction. Honestly, I don't actually believe there is any 'no cry' system with toddlers. Even Pantleys 'No Cry Toddler Sleep Solution' concedes that there are always going to be tears when you're trying to persuade a toddler about a different way of doing things. Yes the crying sounds alarming, but she's just frustrated, it's not like it's a fearful or pain cry.





Offline Tweakster

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #147 on: April 27, 2010, 12:28:48 pm »
Liz thank you.  It helps to hear that I'm not being too hard on the kid.  I mean, 4:40?!?! We have gone backwards, I remember when 5:30 was a good start to our day. He's only doing a 1.5 hr nap at daycare so it's not like his sleep totals are high.  I know he gets OT by the end of the week, all these little hours shaved off his night keep taking their toll.  So I feel like the time has come to just say 'no more kid' and stop any props like that AM bottle and just let him work it out.  He's understanding far more these days than I realize...since starting daycare I feel like he has started 'listening' rather than just 'hearing' what I say.  So we shall endure!

Just read your ticker - wow time flies.  You must be gearing up eh?  

Annette with Finn he's not really crying.  I wish I could record it and ask you guys what you think hehe.  It's more like yelling than crying.  And it's off and on.  He doesn't get hysterical, he doesn't lose his breath or anything - he just yells, screeches, a bit of crying thrown in, some mantra as if he's still tired and trying to work it out, and a lot of banging around the crib.  So I agree with Anna, it's not like they are going to take it lightly when you go in and tell them how it is.  I find if I go in, things get far far worse, that is actually when the hysterics do begin because I think he sees it like teasing - he doesn't want ME per se, he wants OUT.  So it's better to stay out of his room in our case and just go in happy and all smiley at 6 - we really turn on the charm and it seems to do the trick.  

Oh and I just discovered this morning, a little bud on the top left where canine will be, so they are on their way, just as I knew they would be.  Arrrgh.  Of course this will mess everything up, but I don't even want to stop, even for teething.  We will medicate and be mindful of how he's feeling, but we still need to get on with it. 
« Last Edit: April 27, 2010, 12:30:39 pm by *Wendy* »
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Offline annette.xx

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #148 on: April 27, 2010, 12:42:01 pm »
thanks so much anna and wendy - amazing advice as always!!

wendy - jasmine has just cut 2 canines at top out of the blue - she had a few super clingy crying days which I thought were just OT!!! then saturday she was super clingy and bad at bedtime and then found they had just cut and didnt even know they were coming!! - she hasnt even cut het top molars yet!!

the only thing i did find is that her night sleep lengthened a little with them so heres hoping it works for you!!!!

Annette.xx

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Re: Support and Chat thread for parents of Early Waking Toddlers #2
« Reply #149 on: April 28, 2010, 00:54:45 am »
Well it's our second night of bedtime resistance so I am not sure if it's teeth, OT or just toddler stuff.  I didn't medicate because it wasn't obvious...or would you just medicate anyway knowing there's a whitecap there?  I don't really see any other signs although daycare did say he was pulling on his ear all day and didn't eat much lunch.  When he starts going off his food etc. it's clearly teething time again.  I just hate to give meds until we are really in the nitty gritty.

He was very hungry at dinner but didn't eat much, seemed angry that I even put potatoes on his tray lol  Then when he got down he just screeched at me for his bottle.  He seems to want his bottle when he's out of sorts these days, it's a total comfort item, even with teeth coming in he still wants it.  So I put his milk in it but handed it to him, he's finally learned to tip it and I just acted nonchalant and didn't make a big deal out of it, he went off and drank it himself (although he may want to give up the tipping while walking lol, he's not very skilled). 

He was asleep by 7 again and I put new toys in his crib for the morning so we shall see.  As for me, it's 8:50 p.m. and I'm heading to bed lol  Sad when I need more sleep than my 13 mth old.
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