2-year old, short naps and waking up crying, what to try? Please help!

[ccg01]

Okay! Here's the twist. We did early bedtime last night (although he fell asleep later, more like a half hr earlier than usual).

Slept through the night with no crying out (which is good) but woke crying at 5:40 and didn't go back to sleep. Wound up talking and finally calling for us at about 6:10. Weare nervous because we went through EWs earlier this year. Ugh!

Cold is better, though, I hope.

Today, DH put little one in for his nap about 20 minutes early, and he slept for an hr (progress?!) Woke crying and cried for about a half hr. Seems fine now. We'll try earlyish bedtime again tonight and see what happens....

[becky1969]

You're making progress!!! Don't let the EW discourage you.  I know when you've had bad experiences with them in the past that anytime it rears its ugly head you want to run for the hills! LOL! But the sleeping thru the night and falling asleep 30 minutes early are proof-positive that OT is the culprit.  It takes AT LEAST 3 days for their body clocks to fully change, and usually more like a week.  So continue for at least a week before deciding that this causing more problems than it fixes.  I can almost guarantee you taht those EWs will disappear in the next day or 2.  Here's why: OT causes NW and/or EWs.  NWs usually disappear first (don't know why!) and then EWs.  So, you are in phase 2 of beating the OT cycle.  You're getting there!  Hang in and don't stop!

[ccg01]

Thanks for the encouragement! Yesterday, it was a 43 minute nap, woke up crying, I went in and he almost seemed angry that he was up. I sat on the floor and he eventually fell back asleep for over an hr. Was pretty happy when he woke. We did an early-ish (started bathtime at 6:15 evening again) and had a 6:02 wakeup w/out crying at night.

So I think the earlier bedtimes do help, but we're wondering if the naps will sort out (we've been putting him in there earlier, around 12:30, was closer to 12:45 or 1 in the past and he does fall asleep) or if we should just resign ourselves to the crying/out-of-sorts guy who wakes up after 30-45 minutes? He's so grumpy when that happens!

[becky1969]

That waking at 30-45 minutes is from being OT.  He's waking up at the first sleep transition.  You are doing the right thing, trying to soothe back to sleep.  That, combined with better night sleep, should resolve the problem in 3-4 days. 

[ccg01]

Thank you. We'll keep trying. He won't soothe back to sleep for my DH, who is the one there w/him during the week. Screamed going for his (early) nap today and woke at 26 minutes. Drat!

Starting to wonder about WI/WO for the nap. He really gets so upset, though. Hmm.

[becky1969]

I think he's just so freaking tired!  You may need to bring nap even earlier than you already are.  I think he is just POOPED! My son also gets really cranky/crying when super tired.  Normally he's happy at naptime, but if he's worn out, then watch out!    I wouldn't do WI/WO for nap, to be honest.  I don't think he's having trouble sleepig indendently, I think he's just missing his sleep window by a mile and is very upset as a result.

[ccg01]

Hi,

To update, we're still struggling w/naps here. DH got him to go back w/soothing on Monday (woke at 26 minutes, slept another 15-20), but no luck after yesterday or today's 30 min naps. AND we have another cold today. DS has really been resisting the early naps, and since we've been on them for over a week (with early bedtimes), DH gave up today and put him down much later for the nap. He said he only fussed a few minutes, not much at all and a major improvement, then fell asleep. But woke after 30 minutes, coughing. Poor little guy! The overnight sleep is (knock wood) settling in at right around 11 to 11.5 hrs.

[becky1969]

Naps will resolve, don't worry.  The better nights will help your naps as well.  Can you post a current routine so I can maybe give better advice on nap timing?

[ccg01]

Thank you (again!).

Here's his current routine:
6:10 (earliest he wakes on his own, knock wood) to 6:30 wakeup (we wake him then if he's not up on his own, this has been steady for some time)
7:00 breakfast
7:30 ready for preschool
7:45-8 arrive at school
9:00 snack at school
11:10 daddy picks him up, usually has snacks in car for him
11:45 ish, lunch
nap. We tried as early as 12:20 and several 12:30s, but this used to be closer to 1 (before starting school, he'd usually be in the crib by 12:45 or 12:50, take about 10 minutes to fall asleep) - now at most 45 minutes of napping, usually 25-30. previously was 1 hr 45 to 2 hrs)
snacks sometimes in afternoon if hungry
5:30 dinner
6:15 bath, asleep by 7 tonight. previously (before school) we'd start bath at 6:30 or so and he'd be asleep by 7:30 most nights

[becky1969]

OK, little dude is going down WAY too late for nap!! You're talking 6-6.5 hours of A time, which is just too much at this age.  You should be shooting for 5 hours of A time which would be more like 11:30.  This makes a lot of sense now -- with preschool, he's super tired plus going down for nap so late is too much! 

I think I'd be tempted to put him down as soon as you get home from preschool.  first, you'll want a pretty relaxing wind down routine that is longish -- 10-15 minutes.  This wind down should be reading stories, talking quietly about his day at preschool, and sitting in a darkened room and cuddling.  Then it is in to bed.  The snack in the car is excellent, and I'd ask daddy to give him a more substantive snack than he might otherwise: a carb+protein combo would be ideal.  For instance, cheese and crackers (cheese sticks are great portable snacks!), or cheese and apple slices, something like that.  Or even a cheese sandwich if you think he can handle that in the car.  Then, we get home wind down and go to bed.  Lunch can wait until after nap. 

You're at an awkward time where he's getting up so early that he's just going to need his nap at noon or earlier, which means timing lunch can be hard.  If it weren't for preschool, I'd say lunch at 11 and in bed at 11:45 at the latest.  But since you have preschool we'll try a heavy snack before nap and a light lunch after nap.  Could you try this for about 3-4 days and let me know how you get on?  I think you will be AMAZED at how after a few days he starts extending his nap because he's not required to go so long before nap time!

give it a go!

[ccg01]

We can try to do the earlier naps, but prior to school, this had been very consistent - awake by 6:15 or 6:30 at the latest, napping at 12:45. So I guess I'm confused about the change!

Sorry for so many questions, but what is typical morning A time for a 2 year old (almost 25 months)? In looking at the typical days, I was thinking that six to six and a half A time was pretty normal. Thanks!

[becky1969]

Typical A time varies for a 2 year old, but I'd say it's closer to 5 hours than 6 for most kids.  But that's not to say that there aren't plenty of 2 year olds how go 6 hours! Most of the ones in my support group I belong to for kids born in Jan 06 have about 5-5.5 hours of A time prior to nap.  It's funny, we just compared sleep schedules this week, and the kids who were doing closer to 5 hours A time were napping 2 hours consistently every day.  The kids with 6 or more hours of A time were either not napping every day or were short napping.  Those kids are OT (but I wouldn't tell the mamas that unless they asked!  ).

Anyway, I realize this routine was working for you before but you are forgetting a key variable: SCHOOL!!!! School is very exhausting for kids! Not only are they super active, but there's lots to observe and take in, plus all the interaction with other kids.  Even grown-ups are more tired on days where they do new things or are extra active.  Kids are the same way, and more so.  So, while that routine was adequate prior to school it isn't anymore and he needs extra sleep.  Now, once we beat this OT cycle and get him napping long and regular again he may get over the OT phase and will also get more used to school, so you may only be on an early nap schedule for 2-4 weeks.  Then he'll be caught up on sleep, used to school, and ready to stretch A time again.

Give it a try for at least a week and tell me what happens.  I can almost guarantee an earlier nap will fix your problem. 

[ccg01]

Thank you for the explanation, it makes a lot of sense! So, knock wood, it did seem to help today (of course it was not a school day, but he had a rough night sleep -- cold effects -- so he was more tired today). He woke at 6:34. Took him up for his nap, after some stories, at 11:48 (yes, digital clocks all over, lol). He cried and fought me on it some, but fell asleep after about 10 minutes and slept 1 hr 40 minutes!!! We couldn't believe it. He was still clingy after his nap, and a royal pill at day's end (still OT, I suspect, plus, after all he is 2 and we are experiencing some wants he gets stuck on but can't have), but overall, a much better day. Knock wood this breaks the pattern -- we'll keep trying the earlier naps!

[ccg01]

 
Update: only 50 minutes nap yesterday, despite early naptime again... we did early bedtime and he was asleep by 7.

back to school today, screamed for at least 25 min in his crib when dh tried early nap. guess we're about to give up on school. it worries my husband sick that ds isn't getting enough sleep and he hates the afternoon struggles w/the cranky little one. thanks for all the advice, though. i guess we just aren't meant to do the school thing yet.

[becky1969]

Aw, don't feel bad. JUst do what's right for your family! Every child is different as to when they are ready for a school-type setting.  Boys are typically ready later than girls.  Their language skills take longer to develop, and they can often find the things expected in preschool rather difficult.  Just sitting in a circle is challening for boys! I've been reading a lot of studies recently that say that starting preschool early for boys is leading to LESS success in school later.  Not to frighten you or anyone else who has elected to put their child in preschool at age 2! Just saying that you are right to follow your child's cues.  Sounds like some more time at home would be good.  Playgroups and individual classes that run for an hour but with a parent present might be more his style.

Keep me posted, and I'll try to help you thru the transition.  ((((hugs))))