Need help with night wakings!

[jennyjo]

Hey there! I have a 6 1/2 week old little girl that I'm hoping someone can help me figure out what is going on. We have been on easy for 3 weeks. She had a rough start- was 6.5 lbs and jaundiced so they were having me feed her every 2.5 hours. I think maybe because of that she got her days and nights mixed up, I'm not sure. I'm breastfeeding and when I do a yield I get 4-6 oz; I have been feeding her every 3 hours during the day and doing both cluster feeds and the dream feed where she normally will take 4 oz. Last night I did the dream feed at 11 pm and she woke at 1 am starving. How is that possible? I started 2 days ago only letting her sleep for an hour at a time during the day because she would wake up at 2 am to feed and not go back to sleep until 5 am. Last night after I fed her at 1 am she fell back to sleep at 230 am and slept til 530- a miracle for us! I breastfeed on both sides (that was what our lactation consultant had told us to do initially for around 20 minutes a side). If i pump afterwords,my breasts are basically empty. She is gaining lots of weight so I dont think its a matter of not getting enough to eat but I have no idea! Feeds generally take 45 minutes or an hour- she gets distracted if she has to poo, etc and takes a few minutes to get latched back on. I've been doing the 4 S's to get her wound down-but the interesting thing is during the day all I have to do is swaddle her and she goes back down. At night- it takes all 4 S's to get her calm, and sometimes Shh-ing for 25 minutes or more. I dont know what else to do. HELP!!! Am I expecting too much from a 6 week old?

[Bryony]

Hi there!

Well first of all - it IS still early days - so try not to worry too much!  and 25 mins to get her down is not bad - it took us an hour or two at that age!

What is her routine like during the day in terms of sleep - I am wondering if it's hunger that's waking her or whether there might be some other problem.

xx

[jennyjo]

Thank  you so much for your reply. I, obviously, am a first time mom and its just nice to know what we are going through is normal. So, to answer your question- we are pretty much on the 7 am routine every day. I almost always have to wake her to feed at 7am. One day she woke at 530 so we started our day then, but otherwise we are consistently waking her up at 7, waking her every 3 hours during the day, etc.. following easy to  the tee. She has woken up at 3 am every night except for the one night she woke at 1 am. To be honest, the 3 am wake up is not bad and it sounds like is pretty normal. The problem is that after that, she wont go back down until 5 or 530 am. She is a complete angel the rest of the day- goes down for naps with no assistance, etc.. but at 4 am after she's through feeding the devil comes out! She kicks at her swaddle and acts so mad, appears to be wide awake. So for 2 days now (today is day #3) i have been shortening her naps to an hour like tracy advised just because I thought maybe she had her days and nights mixed up. I honestly have no idea. It was just a shot in the dark- we thought we'd try that because we werent sure what else to try. I did do a yield today during the day just to see what I would get and was surprised to only  get 3.5 oz. I usually do a yield at night just before  the dream feed and get 5-7 oz,so maybe she is getting less during the day. So, I started today pumping an hour after feeds to try and increase my supply, so we'll see. I'm  totally open to any suggestions. It sounds like you  guys had some problems getting your little one down too, so maybe its just part of it! I just always worry that I'm doing something wrong because she goes down so easily and is so pleasant during the day and its like I dont know what's wrong when she's so mad at 4 am. Thanks again, so much,for your reply. Cant wait to see what you think!- Jenny

[Bryony]

What is her A (awake) time during the day? Ie how long is she awake between waking up from one nap and being asleep for the next nap?

Bryony

[jennyjo]

Hmmm...I never really thought about that. Feedings generally take an hour- she gets distracted if she has to poo and sometimes it takes 10 minutes to get her latched back on. Then after the feeding we do 15-30 minutes of activity. I try to just watch for yawns,etc and then swaddle and lay her down. The past few days I have been trying to keep her up for 30 minutes after feedings since we were shortening her naps to see if it was a day for night dilemma. Another question of mine- this morning she woke at 330 to feed, fed until 430 then went back down at 530, but was kindof restless until 630- should I be waking her at 7am to start the day? Sometimes I feel like she just gets to sleep only for me to have to wake her an hour later. I have to wonder if the reason feeds take an hour is because she generally is not hungry when I wake her. I have to wake her for feeds during the day. I've never seen how long she would go because I've been too afraid it would keep her up at night and that my milk supply would tank. Should I let her go 3.5 hours? My entire family thinks I'm crazy to wake her to feed! I guess that's what a lot of people think and its totally making me second guess myself! Thanks again for your help- anxiously awaiting your reply!

[Bryony]

Sorry, I'm still not clear - so she's up for 1hr 15 - 1hr 30 A time during the day, is that right?  That sounds like quite a lot for her age - it's usually more like an hour to 1.15 at her age. I really wouldn't stretch it more than you think she can handle - you don't want an overtired LO as an OT LO sleeps really really badly.....!  She's quite young to be affected by OT but it is possible

I would not wake her to feed her any more often than 3hrly during the day unless she seems really really hungry - and some people do to go 4 hourly even this young although most folks doing the BW routine stick at 3 hourly as it fits better around the naps. But if she's not interested at the 3 hour mark then yes I would stretch it longer personally- but this question may be better on the BF board. My LO could always go a long time between feeds as I had masses of milk and she didn't feed well if she wasn't ready.

In the mornings yes I would wake at 7 (or ish!) to try and keep into a routine - except this week if your clocks change on Saturday (ours do) then you probably want to shift your day later a bit so I would let her sleep in later this week and this week only if it helps you shift your whole day later...

Bryony x

[jennyjo]

Hey again- Sorry for the confusion. Yeah, she's been having a total of an hour 15 to an hour 30 of awake time the past few days (one hour to feed plus 15-30 minutes of play) so maybe that's where I'm going wrong. I have to wonder if the reason she gets fitful is because she is overtired. I have no idea. When she gets mad and kicks at her swaddle etc.. do you think that is overtired? Gosh, I feel so bad at this. I feel like I am still learning her cues. I can tell hunger and that's about it! I've been trying today to swaddle her at first yawn and let her sleep as much as she wants, justnot longer than 2 hours at a time during the day, so we'll see how that works out. Another interesting note- I had starting trying to give her a pumped bottle after our feedings to make sure she was getting enough and she's not interested. So hopefully the food thing is not the issue. I will keep doing the 7-ish thing- thanks for answering that question,but may see how long she goes during the day between feeds. Maybe she'll eat better if she goes 3.5 hours, who knows. Thanks so much for all your help. I dont know what I would have done if I hadnt had you to talk to since my whole family thinks I'm nuts for waking her, etc and letting her sleep so much during the day! Any other suggestions and I am all ears!- Jenny

[Bryony]

Jenny sounds as though you are doing great!   Yes I would try that for a few days - sounds as though she could be OT - and see how you get on

xx

[jennyjo]

Wow- we might have made a breakthrough!!!! I dont want to jinx it but last night we put her down at 830 after letting her do her thing throughout the day sleep wise- she slept until we did her dream feed at 11pm then slept until 4am. I couldnt believe it. After the 4 am feed she was a little fussy but got her back down in 20 minutes as opposed to an hour and then she slept until 730 when I finally woke her up. Your a genius!!! I would've never dreamed it was an overtired thing. Maybe all those weeks of having to wake her up due to low birthweight, etc and then my thinking she had days and nights screwed up just made it worse. Oh well, you live and learn, right? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we are on the right track now. Cant thank you enough, really. I was ready to give up. I'll keep you posted.

[Bryony]

Great news I am so pleased!

Let's hope things continue. Often they get better, then regress a bit, then get better for good - so hang in there

xx