Another finger food question

[anna*]

Most of the time I can be quite philosophical but other times (like this weekend and yesterday) it really gets me down!

OK as background, Stan is 11 months old. When he's finger-fed mashed up stuff he will eat loads and eat anything. Literally, he has never refused anything I've cooked for him. Strong flavours, meat, veg, he loves it all.

Do I need to worry about Stan feeding himself finger food? It seems that the only foods he will put in his mouth are toast, Organix crisps (basically, organic junk food lets not beat around the bush), and biscuits. He will OCCASIONALLY put a steamed carrot stick or cucumber stick in his mouth and dice it up with his new teeth without swallowing any. Any/everything else, he just squeezes in his hand and throws on the floor. Sweet potatoe wedges, normal potato wedges, broccoli, courgette, omlette, steak, cheese, apple, pear, peach, melon, tuna melt pita bread... these are just a few of the things that have been squeezed and flung over the last few days. I offer and reoffer and he ends up just sitting in his highchair crying.

Should I just give him mashed food at lunchtime instead and forget about finger food, and let nursery handle the self-feeding transition? Should I just keep offering him finger food and let him skip lunch if he doesn't want any? Should I give him a yoghurt if he won't eat any finger food? Should I keep making delicious tempting things for him, to be rejected?

I know it's a hiding to nothing to compare to other babies, but I just keep seeing my friends' daughter (the same age) who crams handfuls of baked beans, lentils, baked potatoes, anything offered to her into her mouth and wondering how Stan is going to get there when he won't even TOUCH half the things I put in front of him.

If I sit with him and try and make lunch fun, he just whines and reaches to be got down from his highchair. He tends to eat better when I'm not there, but then I think he gets bored quickly and if he's clingy or SA that day, he just cries for me.

Ugh.

Thanks if you read this far and sorry it turned into a bit of a vent.

anna
x

[Freya'sMum]

Am a bit confused are you saying that your lo will eat anything if it's served on a spoon, but just won't feed the same stuff to himself? This would suggest that it's not an oral thing, but maybe he doesn't like touching it with his hands - perhaps the texture, temperature, residue left, or something! Or maybe it's just something he's gonna take a while to get used to? Would he prefer to use cutlery instead, a small fork with which to stab carrot circles to raise to his mouth? And do you eat with him? Self-feeding is helped a lot by watching you guys eat, and eating as a family unit, with the social, fun, pleasurable side of eating, is really effective, 'coz it takes all the pressure off!

HTH a bit?

Ax

[anna*]

Thanks for the reply Alison. Yes I'm a bit confused by it all myself!

He'll basically eat absolutely anything if it's mashed and fed to him on a spoon, so this is definitely not about flavours. He will touch it, so it's not about texture or temperature - he just won't put it in his mouth!
He will ONLY self-feed toast (sometimes but not always), crisps, biscuits. Very occasionally he'll self feed a bit of carrot or cucumber or banana, but this is the exception rather than the rule. He'll pick them up in his hand, but just squeeze the living daylights out of them then throw them on the floor and won't put them in his mouth at all. He can't bring a spoon loaded with stuff to his mouth reliably yet, I don't think he's got the motor skills to use cutlery, and as I said it's not really that he won't touch them more that he won't put them in his mouth.

I try to sit and eat with him so he can watch me eating, but he just leans towards me, whining to get out of his highchair, and ends up just crying.
I know we should eat as a family, but in truth my DH almost never eats lunch anyway, so then I end up cooking for all of us I'm the only one who actually wants to eat! It is very disheartening and I feel like it is a waste of time and effort (and food).

I get really disheartened making delicious things for him, and don't know whether I should keep trying with making yummy things, or give up and let nursery handle this transition (they presumably will start encouraging him to self feed at some point), or just give him things that i know he will feed himself and spoon feed him his lunch. At the moment I try to have finger foods for lunch when he is home with me, but in effect that often just means he has no lunch at all, or at most a quarter (or less) of a slice of toast, if he feels like eating it. I'm pretty sure that he'd happily eat the equivalent of a whole jar of food if I offered to spoon feed him.

anna
x

[mini me]

Hi Anna,
I am with you on the whole disheartening thing. My DD is the same, she will hold a finger of toast with butter and marmite on and suck it til there's nothing left, but will only do half of the toast, the other 2 fingers, I have to hold for her. She has a great appetite for everything else (slow in arriving at this stage) but now wolfs down strong flavours and textures and lots of it (all off a spoon with me holding it tho!!!) She throws everything else on the floor after a good squeeze! I believe some babies are "into" fingerfoods and self feeding, and some aren't. I have thrown away enough to feed a small army, so I now keep the finger foods simple and give her the nutritious stuff myself. I always give her something to fingerfeed with if she decides one day she will do it, but I'm still waiting. It is early days tho, so try not to compare, or if you do, try and compare with a friend who's baby won't feed at all!!!!
Not much help, I know, but just so you know you're not alone. x

[anna*]

Thank you! I just didn't expect to still be at this point as he is approaches his first birthday! Surely he should be doing better than this by now??? *heavy sigh* ah well I guess something will change, eventually. It's pretty boring and tiring waiting for him to change his mind. I don't know whether to keep at it and keep listening to him cry, or give up and spoon feed him his lunch.

Thanks for the support 

anna
x

[lisi's mum]

Anna, have you tried giving him the cutlery? I know a girl who gave her son a fondue fork at that age - kind of sharp but the right size and pierces well.

I have the impression that every time I expected dd to be able to do something 'cause other kids could or I thought it was time she took it as a sign to assert her own independance and remind me that she'd do it when she was good and ready thankyou very much. I remember also with self feeding, I thought she'd never get it, kept offering her cutlery and one day it worked.

[anna*]

You caught me out  I haven't actually tried the cutlery. I'm just assuming, since he can't yet hit a drum with a stick (for example) that getting a tiny bit of food on the end of a fork is going to be way too ambitious.

If he doesn't actually eat anything (finger food or with a fork) at lunch, do you think I should then spoon feed instead? Or just let him have his milk and then spoon feed for supper as I usually would. He's huge, he's not exactly going to waste away.

I just don't know what to do for the best.

You're right though, surely, at some point he will feed himself. It's just what to do between now and then that I'm stuck on!

anna
x

[lisi's mum]

I'd feed like normal from a spoon as well. Offer finger foods and his own cutlery at every meal like toys.

[Freya'sMum]

This is the cutlery set we've used with both girls http://www.toysrus.co.uk/Product.aspx/bruhome/brufeeding/brufeedingweaning/brufeedingweaningcutlery/312002 - it does come in other colours and has been really good - easy to grip, fork not too sharp if poke in eye rather than mouth you don't need to expect his aim to be that good, you can stab the food with him and let him practise putting it in!

Ax

[anna*]

Do you think it's OK to bulk steam a bunch of carrots and keep them in the fridge until needed? Do I need to offer tons of interesting stuff? Oh dear, you can see that my heart isn't in this already! 
I know he loves really tasty things, but I'm so tired of making tasty finger foods just to have them entirely rejected.

[Freya'sMum]

Have you checked out the http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95978.0 thread - loads of ideas, many of which are suitable for home freezing, so you can quickly defrost a small portion and not get so frustrated at the wastage

Ax

[anna*]

Thanks everyone! Well, in typical fashion (just when you try one thing, something else happens), Stan has got over his aversion to putting food in his mouth - because he is so keen on picking up small things. I was cutting up foods into v. small bits (instead of 'spears' which we had been doing for finger foods) so as to stab them with the fork, but he got totally into picking them up and, yes, eating them. I also think perhaps his teeth had been bothering him which wasn't helping the situation.

He's fed himself masses more over the past few days than ever before - blueberries (LOVES them), peas, cheese, pear, banana, courgette, omlette, chicken, carrot, potato; all cut into teeny squares.

These LOs are such funny creatures. Anyway, I'm a happy mummy again 

anna
x

[*Nicola*]

Great news Anna!!

I remember that nearly every LO on our BLW thread LOVES blueberries

[mini me]

WAY TO GO STAN!!! Well done!!

My LO ADORED blueberries when we were in UK a month ago, but we can't get them here in Greece, sniff sniff   

[anna*]

It's amazing how long the dribble stays purple... oh well I think my carpet is already beyond saving.