13 month - sleeping gone pear shaped

[Tigerlily]

Hi

I wonder if anyone can help.

My little daughter has recently started waking up during the night. In the main she has slept through most nights since she was about 5 1/2 months old save if she is ill with a cold or teething.

It started after her 12 months injections - I had 3 nights when she was up 3 to 5 times a night and it was impossible to settle her. I put it down to her being a bit unwell with the injections. She then went back to normal for a few nights and then it all started up again. I don't know if this is related but I stopped giving an afternoon bottle after she was back on track following the injections and she has not slept through since and some times by 5 to 5.30 we are now up for the day - some times I can get her back over to sleep fairly quickly during the night some times it takes a long time. She generally eats well - again unless she is ill or teething. She has a good and consistant routine including 2 naps 1 to 1 1/2 hours each.

I get no help from my husband during the night which is beginning to cause me serious problems as I really resent him not helping in what is a time of need for me. It makes me feel very alone.

I am worried because I know I have done some accidental parenting and made the problem worse. On three occasions in the last few weeks I have gave her a bottle in the middle of the night as I did not know how else to calm her down and as I said above I have ended up getting her up at 5 to 5.30 on a number of occasions as I have not managed to stop the crying and get her back to sleep when she has woke up for the third or fourth time.

Any suggestions - I wonder if I should do pick up put down or probably put down at her age to try and stop the rot before it sets it. I know i will find that tough as I hate to see her crying and I know I will have zero support from my husband. Also her bedroom is right next to our neighbours bedroom and I know they are getting woke up by her and I worry about that.
 
She is a textbook / spirited child if that is possible  - she has developed new skills in a textbook manner but also has bundles of energy. She is such a happy child and rarely cries so to hear her upset is terrible for me. I know I am lucky that she has previously had a good track record sleep wise - I don't know how people cope otherwise as I any totally at my wits ends after 3 weeks or so of this. 

I wish I could work out why this was happening and have a plan to sort it out. I feel that I bad mam because she gets so upset.   

Any suggestions?       

[yaya]

Hugs sweetie please dont feel alone! She's too old for pu/pd at 13 mos, I would use wither walk in/walk ou or gradual withdrawal and tbh she sounds pretty upset so I would personally go for GW, if you like I can talk you through it once you have read the guideline son the sleeping for toddleres FAQs.

Have you tried giving any pain relief to see if she is teething?

How does she go to sleep?

[Tigerlily]

Thanks for the reply Yaya - I would really welcome any advise

I have read the FAQ and I do think it is her back teeth coming through. She has always had difficulty when teething before but I thought that, as had previously happened, that would only mean a few bad nights rather than weeks on end. I am a first time mam so this is all new to me but from reading the FAQ it could be teething over a longer period because this time it is her back teeth- also I think that as she has missed many hours sleep during the last few weeks either during to night or because of early wake ups she is generally over tired.

Last night was again difficult she woke up at 1am 2am 3am - each time I just put the lullabies on remotely from the baby monitor and she when back over to sleep straight away without me having to go in (I have used the lullabies as part of her night time routine since she was born) and if she did occasionally wake in the night I can put the lullabies on remotely and she would go straight back to sleep without me having to go into her room. I have worried that I have made the lullabies a prop - what do you think?

Anyway back to last night she woke up again an 3.45am but this time she was very upset and nothing would settle or comfort her - she would seem settled at times but started crying the moment I left the room- I gave her some calpol for teething pain (I had also given her calpol before she went to bed at 7.15pm). she just became more and more unsettled and by 4.30 I ended up giving her a bottle of milk to calm her down) that did not even work so I ended up laying on the floor in her room - after about 4 or 5 cries - i.e. very quickly she lay down and went to sleep again - I am not sure if the calpol had kicked in, the milk or if it was me being on the floor - I waited ten minutes until she was sound asleep and then left the room. I had to wake her up at 7.50am as I had to get her to nursery so I could go to work. She has never slept that late - normally she is in bed asleep by 7.30pm and up 6.15am/6.30am (which I am fine about - any time after 6am I can cope with!). This morning I left her as long as I could as I felt she needed to catch up on some sleep.

By way of back round information.

Although she was difficult to settle to sleep as a little baby - I used the sh-pat and then PU/PD to teach her to sleep independently - I never breast feed her to sleep or rocked her to sleep etc. She has slept through the night since around 5 months (save if ill or teething). I have never let her CIO - that just not me - I could never do that.

As generally she rarely cries - I do worry that I may rush it too early - I won't go in if she is just wake and cooing/talking - I am not sure I really understand what a mantra cry is - as her cry immediately sounds like a proper 'I need you cry'   

She has never been a baby that just wakes up in the morning and happily talk away to herself in the cot - after each nap and in the morning she wakes up and immediately lets me know that she is up with a cry. I don't think she is fearful of her cot and most times naps and nighttime she goes down without a fuss (although - over the last few weeks she has sometimes taken 20 mins or so to settle at night)       

I do worry about giving calpol to her - i.e. is it alright to give it night after night for teething - I also give her teething crystals (homeopathy remedy). I also put calgel on her gums - previously when she has been teething and woke up upset I could go into her room - put some calgel on her gums and that would be enough to settle her and I could leave the room and she would go back over to sleep - I have as worried at times that I have made calgel a prop!   

Sorry this is so long

I really need to plan to deal with tonight - I felt so bad giving her milk again last night - I want to ensure I do not do that again - I know it is not the answer and will just make things worse.

With that background would you suggest Walk in walk out or GW? I can't find any reference to them in my baby whisperer book - so would welcome a brief summary of what to do if that was possible.

I do feel that from reading the FAQ's I may have found out why this is happening - now I just need to get my head around a plan to deal with it.

Thanks so much