Habit?

[mummy2013]

Hiya!

My DD has been wakening at night for the last  couple of weeks. I'm teaching her to fall asleep independently at the moment and most of her NW have disappear.

She's now wakening between 11 and12 every day. I have to go and reassure her, I simply touch her head and stay next to her cot until she falls asleep, she cries if I leave the room. The last couple of nights has taken about 2 hours! She doesn't cry much, just fuss because she wants to fall asleep but she can't. I stopped the dream feed no that long ago and I wonder if it can be related to that. I can't remember exactly but I think this started when we stopped the dream feed. I've got the feeling it's a habit, what I'm not sure is what's the best thing to do in this case? What can I do to stop this habit? (if it is that..)

Thanks!

[*Nicola*]

Hiya

How old is your LO? 

Can you post your EASY for us, including nap times and nap lengths.  There might be something needs a tweak.

[mummy2013]

Hi!
She's 8.5 months. This is her routine:

Anytime btw 5 & 6:30 wake (I don't go to her cot when it's too early as she doesn't cry)
7 Bottle + solids
8 A
9 S 45mins (used to be after 3 hs or being awake, but now changed to 2.5, she shows signs of tiredness sometimes after 1 h of being awake!)

10 A
12 lunch
1 S 1h to 1.5hs (she goes to sleep after 2.5hs, if her previous nap is longer I wait 3 hs)

2 A
2:30-3 Bottle
3:30 A
4:30 S (as naps are so short I still put her for a catnap)

5 A
5:30 dinner
7 Bottle
7 or 7:30 S

Up to a couple of days ago she used to fall asleep in my arms, the last 2 days with the help of this board we've managed to get her to fall asleep on her cot for everytime she goes to bed including NWs.

I hope it's clear. Thx.

[*Nicola*]

WOW you have made fantastic progress with independent sleeping!! Well done!

I think your EASY probably needs a little tweak

The first morning A time is possibly getting shorter as she is up during the night, therefore she gets tired earlier.  Even though she is showing sleepy signs the 45 min nap tells me that she isn't tired enough to take a good long nap so I would work on extending that first A time and try and get a good first nap   This will hopefully help push the day out and save you giving her a catnap.  I would also aim for a 12/13 hour day MAX otherwise you risk her getting OT.

With regard to the NWing, what is she doing for the entire 2 hours?  Sitting next to her until she falls asleep isn't really advisable as it will eventually become a prop and she will require you do this each time she wakes at night.  How did you sleep train?  Did you do pat/shh, PU/PD?  Could you use the same technique for this remaining NW?

x

[mummy2013]

Thanks for your comments!

Sounds good, I'll work on extending her first A time.

NW - She keeps stirring when while awake, keeps turning to one side and the other one trying to put herself back to sleep, sometimes she makes playing noises.

The sleep train was so good actually. I was soooo scared that she was going to cry. I do 5 mins wind down, in her cot, I sit next to her for 5 mins while stroking her, stop stroking, and then leave the room. I don't do shush pat or anything, simply stroke her head or hold her hand. Today is our 3rd successful day in a row, i can't believe it, she doesn't cry!! I'm a bit scared that I'm just being lucky for only a few days only...

I tried leaving the room once during her NW but she started crying and after that I was so scared of spending the whole of my night there that I didn't try again. I'll give it another go, especially if you think I can become a prop... not again! What do I do if she starts crying, come back? and then what, try to leave the room again?

Thanks a lot for all your help! I read so many nice stories here of babies who fall asleep independently and I can't believe that I'm almost there! 

xx

[*Nicola*]

NW - She keeps stirring when while awake, keeps turning to one side and the other one trying to put herself back to sleep, sometimes she makes playing noises.

 I do 5 mins wind down, in her cot, I sit next to her for 5 mins while stroking her, stop stroking, and then leave the room. I don't do shush pat or anything, simply stroke her head or hold her hand.

Ok so it sounds like she needs you to do this same routine at night time but she isn't managing to actually fall asleep.  I do think she is probably OT and this is possibly causing the NWing.  Extending the A times a bit and getting better naps should help with this

During the day it is also important that you continue to reduce the time you spend settling her so that as time passes, she gets used to settling herself This will also be really important for teaching her the skills of self settling at night.

x

[mummy2013]

Hi Nicola!

I thought I'll let you know how we are getting on and ask you some as your advice was so useful in the past! 

Sleep training - Was going really good, to the point that the last 4/5 days I was putting her down and left the room and she would fall asleep after a little bit fussing.

OT - Managed to extend her siestas (not sure how! I guess reading her cues better!) and she started to sleep better and she slept through the night for 2 nights in a row.

Now a couple of days ago, I had to go out and had to put her 1 hour later for her 2nd siesta, since then it's been hell!

1. She's started taking 1 45mins siesta again and waking 3 times in the night (one of them she wakes up, wide awake and it takes her 2 hours to go back to sleep!). I know that if I can get her naps right again the NW's may stop, but in the meantime you mentioned that it's not good for me to sit next to her until she falls asleep as I can become a prop, but what do I do? If I leave the room, she cries, but she doesn't if I'm in the room, so can't really use PU/PD...

2. Today she didn't want me to leave the room when I put her to bed (siestas and bedtime!) What have I done wrong? I guess the answer to number one would be the same as here...

3. When I put her to bed, it's taking her 1 hour plus to go down (before it used to be 5 to 20mins). At the moment she's very active and desperately trying to crawl and that's what she does when I put her in her cot, she moves a lot and becomes overstimulated... how do I stop this? I put her in bed and she looks tired, but then she kicks on. Do I keep putting her on her back until she falls asleep? That's sort of what I'm doing but it takes about 1.5 hours! (this is for both siestas + bedtime!!) I just don't know how to calm her down, she simply spins in her bed and keeps going on 4 as she does in the day.

I hope you don't mind me asking for more help, I'm simply lost! I can put up with NW's and difficult days if I know what to do, but not sure how to tackle these ones!!

Flavia x

[mummy2013]

I'm a bit lost here as of what's going on. Yesterday we had a better day but another terrible night! This was our routine.

2:30 and 4am - NWs
6:30 awake Bottle + solids
9:10 S (55mins)
11:30 E lunch
1 S (1.5 hs)
5:30 E + Bottle
6:50 S
7:10, 7:40, 11:40 and 2:10am NWs at 3 I gave up and took her to bed with me but still took her about 2 hours to fall asleep, she was wide awake.

Should I stretch the A time before the 1st siesta even more? I know that the last stretch of the day was too long, but she won't go down for a 3rd siesta anymore, I've tried several times.

We had 3 good nights last week and 2 of them she STTN and her day looked very similar to our day yesterday so not sure what to adjust, even with the long stretch in the last part of the day.

This started when she was about 8 months, she used to sleep much better, she used to wake quite often but also she was able to go back to sleep very easily. I don't know where we went wrong. Any advice, thoughts, similar experiences are welcome!
Thanks x

[*Nicola*]

hiya

not be online last few days ... heading out right now so just bumping this up

xx

[mummy2013]

Thanks for letting me know!
I should also mention that she's going down better in the day, I do 3 mins wind down, put her in her cot and leave the room. When she needs my presence to fall alseep is sometimes at bed time, and all times in the night.
x