Question for folks with a toddler and an infant

[abaker89]

We are thinking of another baby but I can't understand how the sleeping will work.  How do you put either of them down for naps when you are alone with them all day?  And what do you do at night if they both wake up?  I know my husband will help but at some point I can see that my toddler will just have to figure it out on her own.  How does this work for everyone?

Thanks!
Aileen

[Joey'sMom]

LOL--lots of gals have been asking about this lately...I was one of them about 6 months ago!

Check out: And then there were 2...

or:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=68058.0

And just to throw out there, I did NOT think I could handle this, and now DS2 is 6 months old and it has become, well, life!

[abaker89]

Thanks so much!!  Is there anyway I can access the first thread that you gave, it doesn't show up as a link. 

It really does seem impossible to me, especially since my toddler has the unfortunate habit of waking at night and staying up for an hour or two!

[Joey'sMom]

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=68058.0

I tried again--it was a link on my screen, but I have no idea what I'm doing so I understand it may not work for you!

Under "And then there were 2" on the main Baby Whisperer Forum page, go to FAQ.  It's under that.   Sorry if this link doesn't work either!

[soji]

HI Aileen -
I have a 27 month old and a 5 month old and it's amazing how it works out, but it does.  I coudln't even really explain to you how it works b/c it changed every few weeks as the baby got older.  It really helped me ot have my mother stay with us for the first 3 weeks b/c that gave me time w/ the toddler and keeping her routine was really critical in the overall transition.  Now at 5 months old, my husband and I really do a lot of teamwork in getting them down.  They ahve roughly the same bedtime.  I do my DD's bath while DH stays w/ the baby.  Then I get her ready for bedtime (jammies, brusth teeth, sometimes I will have enough time to read her a book, etc..) while DH is bathing the baby.  THen we swap - I nurse the baby and DH reads stories to DD and he finishes with her and I finish with the baby.  It's a lot of bakc and forth, but it's good b/c we each get a special part of the bedtime routine with each child.  When my DH is on travel or home late, it's much harder and someone usually goes to bed later than usual.  But my DD is learning to stay in her bedroom while i am putting hte baby down for her nap (they have hte same afternoon nap time too! well, within 15 minutes of each other). ANd she is learning to wait at bedtime too, altho, i haven't had to do this by myself often.

We did have to deal w/ bedtime tantrums w/ DD but I think htat was really a reaction to having the baby.  That took a LONG time to work thru, but it did pass...just like everything else does. 

So, i hope this is encouraging.  We love having the 2 of them now.  it was fun w/ my DD and I am more tired now, but amazingly, the family time we have with the 4 of us just fills my heart.  Good luck to you and your family!!

[clazzat]

DD1 is going to be 2 next week, and dd2 is 11 weeks.  It didn't occur to me that it would be difficult with naps and bedtime with 2, as dd1 was an angel baby and did exactly what I wanted when I wanted, so it was quite a shock when dd2 came along with some very different ideas!  We had a really tough time for the first 4 weeks or so (dd2 turned out to have reflux and things got much easier when she was diagnosed) but since then we have kind of found our way to a point where everyone is managing.  DH is away a lot (I think he has been away for more than half dd2's life) so we have to muddle through on our own.  The two things which have totally saved my sanity have been a dummy for dd2 (we'll deal with the prop issue later if we need to!), as it has meant that I can put her down and leave her rather than spending 20-30 minutes trying to get her to sleep.  The other thing was realising that actually sometimes you can't fulfil everybody's needs and there's no point in beating yourself up over it - our bathtime routine is now: bath for dd2, feed while I try to keep dd1 entertained (nursery rhymes - they're great!) and then dd2 goes down while I give dd1 her bath.  After bath is story time for dd1, and that is sacred - if dd2 starts screaming during this time, I have to leave her (which would be a maximum of 10 minutes, and happily doesn't happen very often), as dd1 gets little enough of my undivided attention as it is.

It's really hard work, but I am loving having 2 beautiful girls and I consider myself very lucky.  Hope things work out the way you want them to.
Cx

[clh]

{{hugs}}  You never know exactly how it'll work until it becomes your life & you have to make it work.  You find a new normal, & then can't remember doing it any other way!    When Isaac was tiny, I'd try to protect 1 nap per kid per day.  So Isaac would nap in the car seat/buggy/Wal-mart/toddler class/whatever in the morning.  Home for lunch.  Put James (ds1) down for his nap.  I read stories while Isaac was in my arms or in the bouncy.  As soon as James was down, i could concentrate on helping Isaac.  Then in the afternoons, Isaac would catnap wherever.  Bedtime, I'd usually put Isaac to bed while dh & James were eating.  That's what worked for us.  As pp said, it changed every few weeks as Isaac grew.  Hope something in there was helpful. 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

marking....baby woke up, have to run....will reply later!!!

Heidi

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Masyn is 26 months now, and Spencer 3 months and when we first brought the baby home it was simple b/c she mostly slept, but when the time came that I needed to do some sleep training, Masyn (who is by nature a very independent girl and played by herslef even before) would be set up in the family room/playroom with a favourite show on. This room is babyproof and I felt comfortable leaving her there for the 20 minutes Spencer needed help to sleep.

With alot of effort I finally got Spencer to self soothe and co-ordinated their afternoon naps (most of the time, anyway!) Basically you have to choose whats most urgent at that time. Masyn is still in a crib so if spencer needs attention I will leave her in their after her nap for a few minutes (I always make sure to tell her what I'm doing and she is mostly ok with it)

You really won't know until it actually happens and then eventually it becomes habit...I don't remember what one child was like already!!! It's a hard adjustment for everyone at first, but now have a new routine to include Spencer.

hope this helps,
Heidi

[abaker89]

Thank you all so much!! I can't imagine how you have time to post here, lol!  I am glad to see that there is a whole forum for those with two, what a great help.  Now if we can just decide when to start trying . . .