How do you teach a LO to self-soothe?

[Mashi]

Back to my list of daft questions!

Currently DS can not self soothe - mainly because he's wrapped in a Miracle Blanket and stuck between sleep positioners. Poor little guy!  He is prop-dependent for sleep -- a dummy, and me rubbing his tummy or even just resting my hand on his chest lightly.  I don't mind those two things at the moment, but I know it's time to get rid of them, and I don't want to take his dummy away without giving him a way to self soothe.   But I don't know how to teach him!

What I have "in mind" is introducing a lovey this week at wind-down times. He seems to enjoy his burp cloths because they are big enough that he can always find it if I put it near him, but they are flannel. So, I've bought a pack of muslins and am going to use them as burp cloths, get them nice and dirty and stinky - just the way he likes them! - and get him used to the sight, smell, taste, texture, etc.  I figure the muslin is breathable rather than the flannel.  If I let him suck on it and rub it and play with it at wind-down and then start leaving it in his cot, then over the next couple of weeks when we remove the swaddle he may choose to play with it a bit when his dummy falls out and settle himself?

Or am I dreaming? 

Any tips?

[bennysmama]

LOL at the "nice and stinky" muslin!! 

Big hugs!  I had exactly the same worry when we weaned the dummy.  Turned out that DS knew more than I did....he started waggling his head back and forth.  He's since also occasionally started sucking on his own tongue (sounds very weird, looks kinda funny, but hey if it works....).     

The best thing by miles though was white noise!  At the suggestion of an expert BWer, I tried it and it definitely, definitely works. You can get white noise machines or (if, like me, you're a little sceptical) CDs.  Worth a try, maybe? 

x
Em 
 
 

[sanaya]

hey. just to let u know i went cold turkey with the dummy and its day 4 today. my lo is also swaddled really tight.
i was having nw issues, and i must say he does suck on his tongue and go uh uh uhhhhhhh (guess thats a self soothing moan). but i do hold him till his eyes are droopy and today hes not battled me as i put him down on tummy, gently patting. 3 day magic is working and his naps are much better.
u are better organised than me, i went bezerk one night and just took the damn thing away.
just dont let the lovey become your prop!!!!

let us know how it goes.....
sanaya

[Mashi]

So basically to teach him to self soothe you just let him figure it out on his own?   Is that right?

Em we have used white noise for a few months now, he doesn't sleep any better with it than without. But I am not understanding how white noise will help him self-soothe?   Just because it is a sleep-cue, it should help?

Sanaya I'm not worried that the lovey will become a prop, I am actively hoping it will be!  I bought a load of them and if he wants to suck on it until he's 30, let his wife worry about it! LOL!

[sanaya]

Sanaya I'm not worried that the lovey will become a prop, I am actively hoping it will be!  I bought a load of them and if he wants to suck on it until he's 30, let his wife worry about it! LOL!

chuckle. yes let him learn to self soothe. i had a bit of a dilemma coz his hands are swaddled, but they are smarties. they figure it all out.
good luck!

[bennysmama]

Oh, you've made my day!   I love the idea of a 30 year old with a nice and stinky muslin...

I'm not a 100% sure....but my theory is that, yep, LOs teach themselves other ways to self-soothe if you take away the dummy.   That said, I think its a great idea to have something comforting (ie the muslin) prepared, ready and waiting to be used.   

The white noise?  Mmm, I see what you mean    I read that its supposed to work by blocking out any distractions, thus letting LO concentrate on getting to sleep.  So I guess you could call it a way of letting them discover ways to self-soothe (?).     Sorry it hasn't seemed to work so well for your LO.  What kind do you use?  I'm not sure if the type makes any difference - mine is just a recording that sounds suspiciously like an AC/fan....      

Good luck!  I got really nervous too before taking away the paci/dummy.  FWIW, it honestly wasn't as bad as I feared.   Big hugs!

x
Em

[choffmann]

I used patting to help my lo self soothe and she did great... but she recently stopped self soothing due to teething/reflux issues...  and after a week of patting her again she got used to that... plus i also think she was used to nursing before nap (though she wasnt falling asleep nursing, i think the feeding too close to nap became a prop too) so what i did is sing to her "its time to go to sleep" but i hid from her sight so she didnt or wont need me to be there to go to sleep. And that seemed to work.

If your LO can tolerate patting you can use that to get rid of the dummy and then gradually do less and less patting...

Good luck!
Christy

[sanaya]

mashimaro,
just go for it! theres never a perfect situation. read my post if you like in NW titled "i think my baby has decided to slowly kill me"
cheers