Sleeps at door & kicks door

[RyansMum]

Perhaps if you get her to help you choose her bed she may be more excitd to sleep in it.

[willowonyx]

So, maybe last night was a fluke, but it was better.

We did try to put a gate up at her door, but it came down really quickly after she FREAKED out.  Her being able to see out her room seems to be worse than the door being closed.

After DH put her down and turned out the light, she did start crying out for me, then freaked out because of the gate and once we took that down, I just went in and applied the GW method to get her to go to sleep.  It took 40 minutes for her to get into a deep sleep.  I can't leave until I know she is *out*.  She woke up around 11:20 and realized I was not there and the door was closed and cried/called out a few times but went back to sleep. Then at some point between then and 6am she turned on the light and took off her PJ's to greet my DH, naked.  

[willowonyx]

Perhaps if you get her to help you choose her bed she may be more excitd to sleep in it.

That was the plan when we were pregnant with #2.

I am just afraid that if we introduce too many changes at once, it will make her more upset.

[RyansMum]

Perhaps but only you can tell that. Maybe casually take her to a furniture store pretending you do not know the kids beds are there and she if she warms to any.

[willowonyx]

Perhaps but only you can tell that. Maybe casually take her to a furniture store pretending you do not know the kids beds are there and she if she warms to any.

Good IDEA!!!!!

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

 She woke up around 11:20 and realized I was not there and the door was closed and cried/called out a few times but went back to sleep.

So, maybe last night was a fluke, but it was better.


Well that sounds like a great improvement. Was she in her bed then? Do you think she might not have even bothered to call out if the door was open even a tiny bit?

[willowonyx]

I do not know if she was in her bed after she called out because we did not go in to check...we learned a long time ago to give her a minute or two before going in because we may wake her up more and cause her to not want to go back to sleep on her own. 

We also learned a while ago that if there is any indication to her that the door is "open" she will come out of her room, roam around the house and then wake us up.  By that point, she is WIDE awake.

[willowonyx]

So, last night was about the same.

DH put her down, she called out for me, he went in and comforted her, she quieted down, but as soon as he left, she turned on the light and laid by the door and fell asleep.

I went around 9:30 and put her in her bed and turned off the light.  Around 1:30am she called out for us....for a minute or two and then turned back on her light and laid down by the door.  She was still by the door with the light on at 4:30 this morning so I just left it that way so I would not make her have an EW.

I guess this is just going to be a cycle until something else comes along. 

[Zoey]

For some reason this situation makes me a little sad   But like everything with this little people, it will pass.  I wish I had more advice but I'm really at a loss.  I will be thinking about you guys.

Hugs.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Yes I have to agree it seems sad. Just a last thought, do you think she feels lonely in her bed? Could you guys go together and buy her some special bed friends? Dd had a small rag doll when she was young, as she got older she would lose it in the cot so I gave her my bigger pooh bear. As she moved to her big bed we gradually added another bear, small one,  then when she was sick she added her small elephant. 3 is our cut off point, big one in 1 arm 2 small ones in the other. On the rare occasion she is sick or having a bad night we add her cuddly dog but after 3 nights it goes back to the  shelf. Little cutie gave me one of her bears when dh was on a trip so I wouldnt be lonely, then insisted I keep it.
I really wish we could figure something out for you, meantime I guess you can just make her comfy as possible, put her in nice warm soft pjs and do you have a rug inside the door? Could you put a duller light bulb in her room so it doesnt seem so bright maybe when she is sleeping, I would hate to be sleeping under a bright light.
Hugs

[lyndsy_p]

I have been reading along and have a possible idea. I am a full time working mom and I am guessing you are too? You said that you had to go away on business for 5 days and things in the SA dept got better. Maybe they didn't. What I'm saying is that this really looks like hard core SA to me.

My daughter does the same when I do my 7 day stretch of work (happens 2x per month). 3 of those days are afternoon shifts and 1 is a 12hr shift so I rarely see her for a few days. It sucks. It's my industry. She feels it, I can tell.

The sleeping on the floor might be a comfort issue, but I doubt it based on the fact that she slept in that bed for 2weeks without any problems. The kicking at the door screams SA to me. She is trying to get your attention there. She gets crazy upset at you when you try to tend to her because it's you that she's needing the attention from, not your DH. My LO does the same for me. It's almost like she'd testing me.

I don't know much about what you do with your daughter during waking hours, but my suggestion is to spend more "quality" time with her. Just you and her maybe? I'm just trying to share what's worked with me. I mean no offence, just my 2c.

Lyndsy

[willowonyx]

For some reason this situation makes me a little sad   But like everything with this little people, it will pass.  I wish I had more advice but I'm really at a loss.  I will be thinking about you guys.

Hugs.

Yeah, my DH are very concerned and heart broken by this.

[willowonyx]

Yes I have to agree it seems sad. Just a last thought, do you think she feels lonely in her bed? Could you guys go together and buy her some special bed friends? Dd had a small rag doll when she was young, as she got older she would lose it in the cot so I gave her my bigger pooh bear. As she moved to her big bed we gradually added another bear, small one,  then when she was sick she added her small elephant. 3 is our cut off point, big one in 1 arm 2 small ones in the other. On the rare occasion she is sick or having a bad night we add her cuddly dog but after 3 nights it goes back to the  shelf. Little cutie gave me one of her bears when dh was on a trip so I wouldnt be lonely, then insisted I keep it.
I really wish we could figure something out for you, meantime I guess you can just make her comfy as possible, put her in nice warm soft pjs and do you have a rug inside the door? Could you put a duller light bulb in her room so it doesnt seem so bright maybe when she is sleeping, I would hate to be sleeping under a bright light.
Hugs

She sleeps with two soft kitties and a fleece blanket in her arms every night. She has 5 other animals in her room as well, but loves these things in particular.

A softer bulb is definitely a good suggestion!

[willowonyx]

I have been reading along and have a possible idea. I am a full time working mom and I am guessing you are too? You said that you had to go away on business for 5 days and things in the SA dept got better. Maybe they didn't. What I'm saying is that this really looks like hard core SA to me.

My daughter does the same when I do my 7 day stretch of work (happens 2x per month). 3 of those days are afternoon shifts and 1 is a 12hr shift so I rarely see her for a few days. It sucks. It's my industry. She feels it, I can tell.

The sleeping on the floor might be a comfort issue, but I doubt it based on the fact that she slept in that bed for 2weeks without any problems. The kicking at the door screams SA to me. She is trying to get your attention there. She gets crazy upset at you when you try to tend to her because it's you that she's needing the attention from, not your DH. My LO does the same for me. It's almost like she'd testing me.

I don't know much about what you do with your daughter during waking hours, but my suggestion is to spend more "quality" time with her. Just you and her maybe? I'm just trying to share what's worked with me. I mean no offence, just my 2c.

Lyndsy

I appreciate all ideas, no offense taken.  Yes, I am a FT working mom, I drop-off and pick-up my daughter everyday from daycare. I also am alone with her for 1 hour once we get home everynight, and then my DH gets about 15 minutes with her before we start the bedtime routine. She has always been attached to me and really only wants to play with daddy if I am not around.

I know she is this way with me becuase she loves me and I am her mommy but it gets exhausting.  I can not even imagine how it is going to be once a #2 comes along.

[lyndsy_p]

Question, what time does she wake in the morning?

The reason I ask is that if you can stretch her bedtime out a bit you may have more time with her in the evening. As a result you will have a later wake up (a bonus on the weekends) and you may have to wake her in the AM before daycare. My LO used to be a 730 bedtime kinda gal, until I slowly pushed bedtime later 15mins at a time, slowly over the course of a week.

My LO's routine is this (she's 20mo)
745/8am wake
130/2 nap for 1.5-2hrs
815/830 asleep