6.5 Month old fighting naps

[janda727]

My lo is fighting naps. I put him in his crib when I see tired signs (usually between 2 & 2.5 of A time). First I mellow out his activity and move him into his room. I was sitting in there doing shh/pat but he thinks it is playtime, so I put on his music thing and let him stay in there until he cries. I go in when he cries and try to do pat/sh but he seems irritated, so I stand there and he cries/mantra cries until he falls asleep. This process was 1 hour and crying was 5 mins. Is this CIO? I don't want to do pu/pd at this point.

Here are my questions:

First off he is spirited.

Do I need to make the room really dark for his nap? Currently it is a little darker than day light in his room.

Is it ok to let him cry/mantra cry? I think this is his way of fighting it. If he is hysterical I pu.

I feel like I am missing the window even though I catch him at the beginning. Any suggestions?

Thanks! 

[lilac83]

I found that darkening the room helped some. I just put up black garbage bags and keep the blinds down all the time. Not super pretty, but it works.

It is okay to leave him if he's mantra crying. My DD is also a bit spirited and I've found the more I interfere the madder and more worked up she gets. I've probably walked a very fine line somedays between letting her self settle and having her CIO simply because of her personality. If I lay her down and she starts crying I still leave the room. Usually (9 times out of 10) the crying lasts a few seconds and then she either quiets or mantras for a bit and falls asleep. If I stay and try to sooth her, the crying escalates. So it's worth a shot to see if he'll settle himself but I'd only leave him to it for 1-2 minutes and then go assist.

It's quite possible that he needs more A time before you lay him down. My DD is getting about 3 hours A time. All LO's are different though so you'll just have to play around with it a bit. Try to extend just an extra 15 minutes at first and see what happens for a few days.

[janda727]

Thanks. I will try that! 

[mrmayer]

I am having all these issues with my 6.5 month old as well.  She WILL not take more than a 30 minute nap.  Granted we have only started the EASY plan on Monday (so this is day 5).  I am working on extending naps (night time is fine - sleeps 11 hours).  I have followed the 4 hour EASY schedule religiously (nap times 9am and 1pm with E and A first).  She goes right to sleep, then after 30 minutes is awake and crying.  Then she plays in her crib for 20 minutes, then I ssh pat for an hour then she goes back to sleep for never more than another 30 minutes.  She never gets super upset so I never do PUPD.  Hence it has been 5 days of never napping for more than an hour and a half between the 2 naps.  We are both frustrated and exhausted.  How long does it take to transition her to 2 good naps a day?  She is spirited and has always catnapped (3 to 5 - 1/2hr naps a day since she was born).  Thanks for the advice for the first time mom...total amateur! 

[lilac83]

mrmayer ~ Are you having her asleep by 9 in the morning or is that when you start wind down and she falls asleep later?

[mrmayer]

I'm winding down at about 8:15am (when she shows signs of being tired) and then put her in her crib around 8:45am.  She fusses and stirs for about 15-25 minutes and then is asleep by 9am, but only for a half hour (always 1/2 hour every time on the dot).  I just read the Q&A on Sleep posted on the FAQs page and here are a few things I think I am doing wrong and what I think the solution might be.

1.  I was trying to do PUPD without her actually crying.  So now I put her in bed and let her sort it out on her own, only going in for PUPD when she has started crying.  Same with when she gets up early at the 1/2 hour mark.  I'm going to let her try to sort it out on her own (she has always been independent minded) and only go in when she gets upset.
2.  I was also doing Shh Pat with her after her early wake up (and I would always be in there with her for the remaining hour and a half without her sleeping...but again not fussing...just rubbing her eyes, acting tired...but never closing her eyes).  So as above, I think I'll let her try to go back to sleep on her own and only go in for PUPD when she gets upset after her early wake up.
3.  When she only got 30 minutes or no sleep for the morning nap (after 1.5 hours of Shh Patt or PUPD) I would keep her up until 1pm to try for the next nap.  I think (as per the Q&A with Tracy) I need to put her down for that second nap at 11:30am (1/2 hour after she gets out of the crib from the not taking the first nap).  Not keep her up until 1pm when she'll be over tired.

Questions:
1.  Does the above make sense?
2.  How long should I let her fuss and stir for a nap without intervening?  The whole 2 hours?
3.  If she takes a terrible first and second nap should I try for a third nap?  i.e. another nap at 4pm?
4.  If she is able to go back to sleep on her own (granted it's taking her 20 minutes) is that ok or should I go with another technique like the wake to sleep?   

I really appreciate your response and kindness.  This is so tough.  I have been crying more that she has! 

[lilac83]

*Hugs* It is tough, I have shed many tears with my LO.

You're right that you can't do PU/PD if she's not crying. In fact, PU/PD is more of a last resort technique. First try to sooth her in the crib using sh/pat, gently rubbing her back/head or whatever you find works best. If she starts getting desperate, that's when you start PU/PD.

If she's not crying I would leave her. With you sh/patting her if she doesn't need the support you may actually be stimulating her too much for her to fall asleep. If she's fussing and stirring the whole nap I would just leave her to it the entire time.

If she takes 2 short naps definitely try to get a third one in there. Try to give her at least 2 hours A time before bed though as otherwise she may have difficulty falling asleep come bedtime. I think sometime between 4:00/4:30 for 30 minutes would be reasonable.

You could give wake to sleep a try and see if it works. It works for some, doesn't work for others and isn't a very consistent technique. Meaning, it usually works about 50% of the time.

I would also perhaps try keeping wind down to about 15 minutes and putting her in crib at 8:30. Since 30 minute naps usually mean OT she may just need a slightly shorter A time.

[mrmayer]

Again, thank you so much.  I so appreciate the advice and support.

One last thought...the on that has been hanging with me this whole time.

Is it possible she doesn't need more that two 30 minute naps a day?  She sleeps 11 hrs a night (zero problems) and I know she can put herself back to sleep.  If she is waking up after 30 minutes and is happy as a clam to get out of the crib and be awake for another 3 hours for the next nap (i.e. in bed for 9am nap, up at 9:45am, and then down for next nap at 1pm)...could it possibly be that that's all she needs. 

She is always happy the rest of the day.  Nap time is the only time of day we have any fussing/crying.  Could I be pusing this too hard.  Maybe she really only needs an hour of sleep a day?

Thanks again...

[lilac83]

I doubt she only needs an hour of sleep per day. She may not need the 3-4 that BW recommends, but most likely she needs at least 2-3 hours.

[mrmayer]

Thanks.  I followed your advice and put her down at 8:15am (she was showing signs of being tired) and she slept for 1 1/2 hrs...her record!  So I think she needs and earlier morning nap.  She just went down for her second nap (12:15pm), so we'll see how it goes.  Looks like she may like these earlier times better and then a short third nap around 4pm. 

[lilac83]

Excellent news! I hope the rest of the day goes well for you!

[mrmayer]

Thanks.  She took an 1 3/4 hr nap this afternoon.  Why is all changed I don't know.  I'm certainly not giving myself the credit.  Thank you so much again for your kind words and solid advice.