Support for dropping the last nap age 2-3 yrs

[keeps me guessing]

thanks hester,

me fear was that the 30 minutes meant that she might be ready to dop it as her behaviour is great. No tantrums, still laughing, smiling ect. But you may be right. so just to see i took the day off today but her down for a nap at 12pm instead of 1 and she fell asleep immiditaly and has now been sleeping for almost 2 hours. Last night she slept from 7:15ish to 6:20 am as 11 hours. I will try and nip this in the butt this weekend, talk to my caregiver and hopefully will ot be here until a while later. Thank you

[nathansmum]

Hi!
Can I jump in and ask a few questions?

My 3yr old is waking up a little earlier lately. He still is on one nap and I feel he still needs it. I was just wondering how to go about cutting some of the nap out to get him to sleep a little later in the morning while still allowing him to get that resting time in his bed/ room? Do I put him down later or get him up earlier?

[rinajack]

There is a thread for kids age 3+ who are dropping their nap, or gearing up to drop their nap - I think it is in the Activity board? In the preschooler section?

I am thinking about trying my DS on no nap again today, his nights are getting shorter and with more NW, while his naps are getting longer (and he is waking really cross from them).  He only needs about 11.5 hrs sleep per 24, and I am soooo tired.  He does sleep better when he hasn't napped, but he ALWAYS naps on long car trips and a day trip we took has set up the current cycle

[nathansmum]

oh! I guess I missed that thread... I'll check it out.

Thanks!

[rinajack]

Well, I caved and let him nap again.  He is so cute asleep on the lounge, but please please please can he just sleep a night through?

[Hester]

Rina, I am hoping with you! Let us know how it went. Usually when they wake up cranky from their nap it's a sign of them starting to drop i. (Unless they're under 2 or so, when it's a sign they need to sleep more...) I figured you knew all that, but a reminder never hurts

[rinajack]

LOL thanks hester. I don't think he needs more sleep - these long naps have him waking earlier and earlier (we are pre 6am now ). The longer then nap, the shorter the night, the longer the next nap! 

Yesterday he had 2 naps (vomiting bug so thought he needed it) - result - awake at 4:15 today and wanted up.  Back asleep finally at 6am - for 40mins.

I am so lost where to go.  I think he would do better on no nap...well I would anyway, but surely he is too young for that? On the ohter hand, he DID drop to 1 nap at 8-9mo - whole transition then completed by 10mo.

[Sarahboosmom]

Hester help!!!!!!  Okay the 12:45 naptime worked for 5 days, then wham, two days in a ROW no nap!  She was WAY OT on Saturday, cranky and VERY VERY wound up, like a spastic child, it actually freightened me a bit!  She was shaking her head side to side to side very very fast over and over for 5 minutes straight and eeking out these high pitched squeeks at teh top of her lungs!  This has NEVER happened but her eyes were so puffy and dark and I could tell she was way tired, but since she didn't nap (in room on bed quietly for 2 hours) I couldn't do anything!  I felt bad because I put her back in her room to sit in timeout for many many offenses but it was way too early to put her to bed 4:30 pm.  We put her down at 6:30 pm with very quick bedtime routine, she cried hard going to sleep, obviously OT and finally 7:15 the room fell quiet. 

That was Saturday but Friday was a no nap day as well, just 2 hours of quiet time starting at 12:45. 

So today I put her down at 12:30 (actually at noon I think would have been better but we were on our way home then).  She seemed to settle down immediately (we have a video monitor) and I had to go run the rest of our errands while DH stayed home with her (naptime is very important to us!) and DH reported that at 1 pm she was up out of bed running around.  So he went in and lead her back to bed and reminded her to sleep.  He said she cried really hard but did finally go to sleep at 2 pm!!!!!!!  She slept until 3:40 pm.  The only good thing was she was a DREAM child today.  We made a really big deal about the nap and reminded her how much fun things are when she sleeps and takes her nap and how more good things will happen when she does that everyday.  DH even gave her a treat when she woke up and luckily on  my errands I had found a toy she's been wanting for a long time, really on sale (half price) and so instead of holding it for her birthday I made a big deal about the nap and let her open the surprise.  She was thrilled.  So all night I kept reminding her that all these good things happen when she naps.  We made sure to make it a fun night, which was in contrast from Saturday's melt down monster. 

So I don't know, not sure what is happening and why the naps worked all week and then got wacky.  We are very good about our routine, same wakeup times, snack times, lunch times, naptime routine, after nap routine, snack dinner, bath pjs book and bed.  The only thing I've changed in response to her lack of naps is moving the naptime up to ward off OT.  So I'm not sure what is up but I know she needs a nap.  There is NO DOUBT about that.

Should I stick with the 2 hour quiet time if she doesn't go to sleep, or should I pull her out after 30 minutes. let her play then try again in an hour?  I feel like that is giving in but 2 hours in her room doesn't do anything but let her play unattended (I'm not opposed to that per se but would rather she sleep). 

Anyway, I will keep on this all week again, I'm not giving up or giving in!  We'll keep the reward system and maybe start a chart for her so she can visually see the rewards as well and maybe build in a reward for the week like Chuck E Cheese or the Zoo for 6 out of 7 naps a week or something. 

Anyway, let me know if there is anything else I can do!

[NiknLily]

sarahboosmum - I will be interested to see if a reward system works to make your DD nap.  In my experience if there not going to sleep then they just simply aren't going to sleep and nothing you can do will change that.  And as fustrating as it is when they start to drop naps personally 'i've never been able to 'bribe' Lily into sleeping by rewards or by the threat of having a treat for the afternoon canelled ;-)

[Hester]

Big hugs! I agree with Niknlily, rewards usually don't work. You can try though, every child is different, but naps, food and bedtimes don't require rewards (IMHO).
Anyway, what worked for me is that I would put Ian down earlier (say 12, or sometimes even 11.30) because he was OT. Then if that didn't work, I'd take him out and say that was a good quiet time you had. We then play, eat whatever it is you do and I would try again 30-45 minutes later. This way naptime is still at a reasonable time and not super late and it won't mess up bedtime later on.

When he didn't nap I was a little easier on setting consequences for behaviour, since he just couldn't control himself when he was that tired...
More hugs and sometimes a little more tv would keep things calm.

One other thing that might help is to not make her room a time out place. Use your bedroom instead and call it cool down time instead of time out time. (Because (imo) she needs to cool down so you can talk about what happened. ) If you use her bedroom then her safe place is also her punishment place and because of her age she can't seperate the two yet. Make her room inviting (not too many toys, unless they are calming books or stuffies or something) and make it relaxing to be there. (Maybe read books in there or listen to calming music together on the bed) that way she WANTS to be there when she's tired or needs some quiet. I have hung some christmas lights in Ian's room and have bought a cd player (out of reach) that if he's really wound up I use to play calming music. (Music might not calm her though, this is just what I do, find something relaxing that works for her)

anyhoo, I hope this helps, sorry for the long post!!

Hang in there and remember sometimes days just suck... nothing you can do,

Hester

[rinajack]

Ugh I am so tired.  As mentioned previously, Hugh's naps are getting longer, his nights getting worse.  Then he got a vomiting bug, so on Sunday I gave him two naps to let him sleep it off.  Monday morning he got up for the day at 4:15am! Went back to sleep finally at about 6 for 40 mins.  Then had a 1hr nap yesterday, which I hoped would be short enough, only to then getup at 5am today!

He used to sleep til about 6:30 when he was not napping every day and only having very short naps when he did nap....we need to get back to that, but I am afraid to wake him from his naps because he is so incredibly grumpy when I do that.....ugh.  I am so tired I feel like I can't even think this through properly.

[Sarahboosmom]

rinajack - hugs to y ou!  It sounds like you are having a rough go of it!  It is so frustrating I know!  I hope you are able to get some sleep soon. 

So today I put her down at 12:45 that is the earliest I could, I work from home and have her in part time day care that runs until 12:30.  Again she did not nap at first, she bopped around a bit.  I went in to remind her that it was quiet time, she was jumping around.  Finally at 3 pm she fell asleep!!!!!!!!  I was going on my way up to let her out since officially quiet time was over but I noticed that she was nicely tucked under the covers and quiet.  So I left her be.  At 4 pm I got her up, she was a bit cranky/whiny but I didn't want it to ruin our 7:30 bedtime.  She's okay now, attitude is fine and all. 

Tomorrow she is not in school so I will try for a Noon nap and see how that goes.  I definately think she is OT by 12:45 since she acts wound up. 

The reason why I did time out in her room was for serious offenses, and I normally take the fact that she hasn't napped when I decipline.  Not that I use it as an excuse NOT to dicipline her but I use the words 'sit until you are happy' or mommy only wants to hear happy noises and I distract etc.  However she went to her room because she pulled the cat's tail and when I went to find out what was going on she threw her wooden train at me and when I picked her up to remove her from the situation (I was very calm) she slapped me.  So right to the room we went, so that is the only reason I do that.  That is VERY unusual behaivor for her, but I was so upset at the events we both needed a break and I was actually hoping that she would just rest a bit but no dice.

So anyway that is more detail to the story of that day.  And no the reward system didn't do a thing as you can see from my post, but she did nap and is doing just fine right now.  But I still did make a big deal about her sleeping as I think that praise for desired behaivor does go a long way.  Not that it will change things necessarily but its nice to give her one more thing to be proud of. 

So I'm just going to focus on getting as early a nap as I can for now and stick with it.  I'm just really struggling with not being able to get her to sleep! 
thanks for the help everyone!

[Hester]

Rina hugs! And yeah, the sleeping is the worst struggle, since you are usually at the end of your rope as well. I hate struggles about sleep.
Food I can live with, TV, candy things like that.... oh well. But NOBODY can touch my naps and bedtimes!!!!

[Sarahboosmom]

Hi!  Well yesterday I put her down at 11:45 she was very cranky and acting OT and whiny.  I said, sounds like a tired girl and she even said she was tired.  I read her a book and rocked her a bit to kind of slow things down.  She has always had white noise on since the day she was born so that has not changed.  She looked very sleepy and calm as I put her down (normally she climbs into bed herself) and she was all snuggled up.  Well it wasn't 15 minutes after I left the room she was playing and talking to her animals.  *sigh*

I guess I just have to realize that she is on her way to no nap even though she can't really handle it.  The thing I am happy about is that she will happily play in her room quietly without a fuss or cry.  So I have that to be thankful for.  So last night I put her down at 7 pm (6:30 came up on me so fast!) and she was out by 7:30 and woke at 7 am.  So she's still getting the same 11.5 hours at night, that never seems to change.  She is a bit fussy and whiny today which I did expect after having no nap yesterday.  But today is another daycare day so I have no choice but a 12:45 naptime.  Aye aye.  Wish me luck! 

Oh I totally forgot yesterday Hester your suggestion of pulling her out of quiet time if she didn't sleep and try again, I'll try to do that another day she's home and we can try the early nap. 

Thanks!  Rinajack - how are you holding up?

[skatty]

Can I pop on and ask a question? Leorah's morning A time seems to be decreasing and her afternoon A time lengthening, is this what happens on the road to giving up the nap? She has a cold and is teething so I am presuming the shortened A time is from that but she is now needing 5hrs before bed (has been 4½-4.45 for a long time, she has always had more sleep than most). The last few days we put her a bit earlier to bed and it has taken her a while to drop off and she has woken 30 mins early which she usually does when teething but this is different, she is singing and happy! i will definitely go back to a 5hr A time tonight and see what happens. I wouæld be very happy if she was starting to give the nap up if she could cope but a skipped nap in our house still leads to NWs and EWs