Going to sleep at bedtime

[Lexys_Mum]

Hi, haven't posted in a long time, as have mostly just been muddling through but I would love to have any advice or tips on what is our main problem at the moment.

Lexy is my 14 month old baby girl. She's very lovely and usually wonderfully natured (I used to think she was Spirited, but am starting to think she may edge more towards Angel).

While Lexy will quite happily go to sleep on her own for naps, put down awake, me leaving the room, at bedtime she refuses to do this.

Let me detail an average day

07:00 (approx) wake up
08:00 breakfast
12:00 lunch
12:15 Nap (she will go down awake and put herself to sleep with no fuss)
14:15 Wake from nap (this can vary, but usual is 2 hours nap)
16.00 Milk and snack
17.30-18.00 Dinner
18.15 Bath and get ready for bed
18.45 Bottle (usually only ends up drinking about half of it)
19.00 Bed

And this is where the problem starts. She will lay down in her cot and I can switch the light out (she has a night-light) and leave the room. Then some time later, usually between 10-20 mins, she will start crying. On rare occasions, she has put herself to sleep, but not lately. And once she's started crying, that's it, she needs one of us there to cuddle her to sleep. We used to be able to soothe her in the cot sometimes, but now that is working less and less.

I've tried sitting in the room and just letting her get on with it, but she just plays usually or sometimes whines for cuddles. I've tried soothing her til she's quiet and putting her back into the cot and leaving the room, she just cries again. I really don't want to let her cry it out as that would break my heart. I have tried letting her cry for one minute as sometimes before she would stop before the one minute mark, but now she won't.

She -has- been ill/teething recently, so there has been an upset, but her going to sleep at night was never 100% settled, she's always been a bit more difficult at night.

Anyhow, any help or advice would be great. If you need any more info, just ask

To be fair, she's a very very good little girl and it's only this one slight problem area that is stopping her being a complete little angel!

[Bryony]

When did she go to one nap? Do you think she might have some accumulated OT? The transition from two naps to one can result in problems a month or two down the line....

Don't leave her to cry though - as you probably know Tracy was very against this..

xx

[Lexys_Mum]

She went down to 1 nap, um. About a month ago, I think. I'd been having trouble getting her to sleep at all for naps, and keeping her asleep longer than about an hour. Eventually one day she ended up staying up longer by pure chance, and had a wonderful nap with going to sleep later, and then could not have a second nap, so it sort of just happened that way. I don't think she's OT in the morning at all, perhaps in the evening, but I don't really know how to solve that.

The only reason I mentioned the 1 minute crying thing I've done is that she used to be very bad at starting crying then stopping again, so you'd just get up from the sofa and get upstairs and she'd be back asleep. So if she now cries for a minute it means she needs attention and can't be left. Does that make sense? I don't think 1 minute is very long, but if you think that even that's too long..?

[Bryony]

What happens if you try putting her to bed a bit earlier in the evening every night for a few consecutive nights? It can take 1-2 months to settle down after they go to one nap and I just wonder if a little OT has crept in.

The only reason I mentioned the 1 minute crying thing I've done is that she used to be very bad at starting crying then stopping again, so you'd just get up from the sofa and get upstairs and she'd be back asleep. So if she now cries for a minute it means she needs attention and can't be left. Does that make sense? I don't think 1 minute is very long, but if you think that even that's too long..? 

I think you have to work out what feels right for you and your LO - for us it's more about the intensity of the cry than the duration - if Katie is just fussing a bit, esp soon after going to bed, I leave her - but if there is more of a hysterical "I need you" cry then I go in to check she's OK and then leave again and do WI/WO - but they all sound different for different LOs I suspect!

[Lexys_Mum]

well it certainly can't hurt to try it, i'd been (if anything) delaying her bedtime thinking she was UT instead of OT. I'll give it a go for a few days and see what happens

(if it works you will be my favourite person in the whole wide world  )