SUPPORT THREAD FOR TODDLERS SENSITIVE TO SLEEP

[abaker89]

Thanks for the ideas, from what I can tell her best A time is 5-5.5, about the same as yours.  At 6 hrs, she still does 25 min.  The only time we have gotten the 75 min nap (her typical length) was with 5-5.5 hrs.  I have thought that maybe she was UT too but over the last few weeks, she will only do 25 min anytime after 5.5 hrs A time.  She has fallen asleep as late as 7.15 hrs and even at 5.45 hrs, she still only did 25 min.  I guess I just have to assume for now that it means she is OT.

But do you have any idea how to get her to go to sleep on her own at that time?  She won't do it until she crashes and then get the OT nap.  I have tried wi/wo with no luck and just leaving her there which didn't work either. 

I will continue to help her so that she can get more sleep and be less OT but we are starting to get some earlier waking too.  So I won't need to shorten her night after all, last night was 11.5 hrs.  What is a typical night length at this age?

Thanks!
Aileen

[Sima]

Abaker: You know that it true, if she sleeps so good at night, she probably has no nap sleep left.
My lo did that a couple times--when she slept 12 hours one day and then just 1/2 because no sleeping time left.  But I don't know how to reverse that.  That is tough situation.  I am going to brainstorm and see what could work.

[jcsmom]

Aileen- My DS is exactly like that too. Anything over 5.5 and he short naps, usually 37-45 mins or sometimes 1.25 mins. I would continue with wi/wo. It takes ages for it to work, especially if they are OT and they are toddlers. After a serious bout of teething and lots of AP, I had to do it for NWs and bedtime which took ages. I found that I kind of did it more like gradual withdrawl as my DS totally freaked out with wi/wo, if I tried to do it suddenly. I would rub his back the first nigtt until he fell asleep, hold his back and hand the second and then do wi/wo the third. Has she always needed you to fall asleep? My DS has been falling asleep on his own since 2 months so it was not hard for me to get back on track.

What do you do when she wakes after 25 mins? Do you continue wi/wo for the rest of her nap time? If my DS does less than an hour,I usually AP back to sleep. Less than 1.5 hours nad I wi/wo. Seems to work better for him for some reason. I find the more OT he is, the worse wi/wo works, iykwim? I think also sticking with a clock time for her nap within the 5-5.5 range of her wake up may help to reset her clock. Have you tried this?

[abaker89]

Thanks sima and jcsmom, we have had trouble being consistent the last week due to the holidays but starting tomorrow we will be very consistent.  I would kill for 1.25 hr right now!   That is actually her normal length nap.  We never have gotten progress with wi/wo, she just cries when I leave.  If I don't go in at all, she is not crying, just complaining/talking so I tend to leave her in there.  She stands up though so she won't go to sleep till she crashes after way too much A time.

After she wakes at 25 min, I either leave her there or help her get back to sleep.  It doesn't always work, but rocking sometimes gets her back but then I have to sit there with her.  I did that some this week just so she wasn't so bad for the holidays.  I actually did that for months when she was really little, from 3-7 mths of age.  If I go in and try wi/wo, she just screams so I just don't go, she isn't crying then.

She had been falling asleep on her own for a while but she is tricky.  I usually rock for about 3-4 min and she learned to fall asleep that fast.  Before that she had been awake and I would put her in, stand there briefly and then go.  So basically when all this happened, she just stopped going to sleep then when I rocked. 

I am worried that if I don't get her back to napping independently, she will do this again in a few mths and decide that my hand on her arm won't do it anymore.  And then she will be older and be needing that nap less and less.  I just don't know how to go about it since nothing seems to work for her but letting her crash and then she won't nap anyway!

Thanks so much!
Aileen

[Sima]

Oh boy..here again....needs some help please.
Okay so tried 5, 5.5, 6--and usually get 1 hour nap, rare 1.75.   So tried 6.25 and she slept 1:45 min two days in a rowand then the next day slept 1 hour??  Then bedtime at 6.30 and awake time 5.20?  So maybe 6.25 is too long now?? AHGH!
Anyways, put her down at 11.35 today and slept till 12.40 so dh rocked her back to sleep until 2. 
Confused.  Now why is she waking up after 1 hour. 
I guess that is why I am in this thread---nap duration change so much and rarely do I get a good nap of more than 1 hour.  I just don't see myself rocking her to sleep on a regular basis.
Any thoughts anyone? Thank you!

[Sima]

Hi ladies!
Oh my.....lo refused nap...for 1 month or so she has been resisting naps all of a sudden.  Today I went in her room making sure Awake time under 6 hours...she said bye bye and thank you and then she played in her crib for 1/2 an hour and then started to call me to pick her up.  I wonder if she is about to give nap.  Her naps are 1 hour with under 6 Awake time usually.  But then at the same time she OT if A time too long at times and EW...I am really confused.  I put her to bed at 6 and she did not cry or show too much signs of being tired.  Hmmm...........

[Sima]

How is everyone doing there? Still struggling over here with little one.  Main problem is naps are 1 hour and EW due to early bedtime.  Have no clue how to get out of this cycle. 
The long A times in morning -6.5--not sure if working now.  So hard to know but she is starting to show signs of being OT--behaviorwise. 
I don't understand it-----even if A times short--she still naps 1 hour?  Oh well...I just want to move day forward so bedtime is not at 6:15.

[LisaM]

Sima

How old is your lo again?

We have had stages like this when she only ever sleeps an hour but generally will then switch to something else for a while.  Only thing consistent about Grace is that she is never consistent.  Over Xmas bedtimes have been slightly later sometimes and we have been having some later wake up times (lovely) - this meaning 6ish.  However, just as was starting to enjoy them on NY Eve went to bed at 8pm and then awake at 4.10am!!  8 hrs sleep and did not go back off.  Had only 1.15 hrs nap and then took a while to go to sleep so although in bed at 7 not asleep til 7.30pm - did want an earlier night to see if she could catch up a bit.  Anyway, woke at 5am today but dozed til 5.30 so at least an improvement. 

Grace often does 7 hrs A time which is a lot but unavoidable when she wakes so early, when she wakes at 6 I still put her to bed at 12ish so only 6hrs - doesn't seem to make any difference to nap length, some days only 1.10, some days 1.30.

Ho hum...they know how to keep us guessing!

[ameliestiredmummy]

I am so glad it's not just us who struggle with sleep - I seem to spend my entire life planning it or worrying about it or trying to fit it in. And all the other mums I know have perfect kiddies who sleep for 12 hours at night and 2 hours in the day - I wish!

Abaker - I completely understand your frustration - I work part time at home as well and 30 min naps aren't much good are they? In fact I can't remember when I managed to do more than an hours work in one day - I'm so tired in the evening because she's been up all night I just can't concentrate.

my dd is 18 months old and has never really been a great sleeper - she goes through phases (short ones unfortunately) of sleeping all night and then good naps, but never for more than 3 days in a row. I can't really tell you our schedule because I have to adjust each day depending on the night and wake up time - last night she went to bed at 6.45, woke at 12.30 till 3, slept till 8.30 - is in bed right now (she asked to go... not going to argue) but she's awake after 40 mins and now I have to get her through till bedtime.

So her A time this morning was only 3 hours - but no way she could have gone any longer without a sleep, but it will have to be 6 - 7 hours this afternoon. And who knows what the night will bring? Noisy inconsiderate neighbours are making it a whole lot worse with their banging around and barking dogs, but I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. Me and dh haven't been out in the evening since she was born - because she won't settle for anyone other than me. And we seem to spend all our family time together worrying about sleep or lack of it, and never doing very much in case she doesn't get her nap or sleeps too long in the car or sleeps too late.... it's driving me mad.

Just knowing we're not the only ones makes me feel a little better...

[Sima]

Hi lisa!
My lo is 24 months old.  Yesterday went like this:
Wake up 5-6 ?
Nap 12-1
Bedtime 6.15

Woke up 4.52???
Nap 12 and sleeping

I figured that what I am going to do from on is to not keep track of A times--driving me insane with this.  Maybe trying TOO hard to accomodate sleep, who knows.  I am going to move her day forward--1:00 nap.  This is crazy.  She does not nap long and she does not make up sleep during the night!!!! Like Gracie, I am going to let her be awake longer in AM because it is worse if put down for nap earlier.  Yes, inconsistent is the work---1, 1.5 rare, 2 almost never!!!! What is hard is that you hear others say their kids nap for hours, but I have to remind myself that all lo are soooo different but has sunk in yet!

[LisaM]

Hi Ameliastiredmum - I feel for you, we used to have very long night wakes - always was awake for 2.5 hours, could set your clock by it really - its so hard when you constantly feel hungover, stingy eyes, emotional etc.  I hope things improve for you soon. 

Sima - Oh they are a similiar age then, Grace was 2 in September.  Yeah, I agree that the best thing to 'try' to do is to stop counting up A times etc and total amounts of sleep but is hard when you know they have had a really bad night.  Today was weird, Grace woke at 5.40 (good for her) and put her in for nap at 12, she was chatting away and then kept saying stuff like 'i got bogeys'  (has had a cold so is snotty) so I had to keep going in to do stuff for her and it took about 4 visits and an hour and 20 mins before she finally went to sleep she had 1 hr 20 mins so just her usual but I really hope that is not the beginning of her starting to refuse her nap - she is enough trouble to actually get to get into bed, let alone not going off to sleep afterwards - I need the break!!  Let us know how you get on with the longer A times.  As I said makes no real difference here for us.

[Sima]

Hi Lisa, hope your lo is feeling better.  Actually, bedtime yesterday 6 and woke up 5.50. Put her nap at 12.30 and slept until 1.40!  That is great because the key I realize is moving her day forward with naps and then bedtime automatically is moved forward.  She definitely needed more A time 6.5-7.  And also, I realized that bedtime is 5 hours from awake time.  So after months and months of analzying this I finally realized that early nap is not the key for my lo.  However, going to bed late will produce short naps the next day.  I think I figured it out?