19 months, BBB, runs to door

[ascwing]

While then-17-month-old DS slept in a crib, he slept well. He'd take one nap, from an hour and a half to three hours a day, and sleep from around 7:45 p.m. to 6:45 a.m. Three weeks ago we moved him, now 19 MO, into a BBB (was trying to climb out of his crib). The transition hasn't gone well. His main issue is, even right after going to bed, he'll get out of bed, run to his (closed) door, and cry. I'll open the door and stand in the doorway, and he runs back to his bed and climbs in all by himself. I pull the sheet over him and leave. No conversation, rarely patting his back, etc. Sometimes I can't even make it back out of his room before he starts crying again. If I do manage to leave, it's just a minute or two before he's back at his door crying and we start it all over. He'll eventually go to sleep (Sat. night it took 2 hours), but if he wakes up in the night they cycle may start all over. We have his door shut b/c we have a small house, so we use the closed door to block noise. My mother has suggested using a baby gate instead of the door, I assume so that he feels less closed-in and so that we don't have to keep opening his door for him to realize he needs to go back to his bed? His naps, if he takes one, are about an hour and a half or so. Often he'll do the same thing at naptime, so if he doesn't take a decent nap, his bedtime is moved back at least an hour, from 8 to 7, if not earlier. He's also started waking up earlier-- used to be 7 a.m., now it's anywhere from 5:45 to 7.

We've let him pick out his bedding, we've talked about what a big boy he is and how he doesn't need Mommy or Daddy to help him sleep, he has a small nightlight, he's not currently teething, he has a lovey and a pacifier, and I'm at a loss. Does he possibly need a brighter light than just a nightlight? I've read a suggestion that said to put a 15-watt light in the room so they're not scared when they wake up. He's always needed dark to sleep, but could that be changing?

Please help. I'm so tired, and it's affecting how I feel about DS and act towards him, and that makes me feel just awful.

[ascwing]

A little more info: at around 10:30 this morning he started acting tired, so I asked him if he wanted a nap, and he said "Map?" (how he says "nap) and ran for his room. We did his routine and when I went to put him in bed, he immediately started fussing. I stood there and patted his back until he was good and mellow and almost asleep, then left. He threw a temper tantrum, got out of bed, kicked the door, etc. He cried, but it wasn't a "I'm scared" or "I'm hurt" cry. It was more "Get back here now, Mommy!" cry. So I stood at the (closed) door and told him to go back to his bed. He kept pitching his fit. I said it a few more time, waiting at least thirty seconds in between each time. I did not go in. He went to his bed once, was quiet for about a minute, then ran to the door and started again. I told him again, not meanly or angrily, to go back to his bed. I could hear him walk a bit and then all was silent. I don't know if he slept in his bed or on his floor, but he did sleep for about an hour and a half, waking up at 12:15. (The entire process took about fifteen minutes of fussing/angry fits.) He'll be in bed no later than 7 tonight to make up for the early waking.

It seems mean to stay outside his shut door and make him cry/go into a tantrum just to get him to sleep on his own, but I don't know what else to do. The walking in/walking out thing just seems to prolong his staying awake.

And of course we're going out of town for over a week the day after Christmas, so whatever progress we do make will be out the window.

Please, I need some help, or encouragement, or anything, really, at this point. I struggle w/depression and lack of sleep makes it so much worse. DH does help but he has even less patience than me, so he can only so much before he's grinding his teeth in frustration.