Extreme Sleep Deprivation-Urgent Help Needed!!

[slumberbaby]

Someone help, please! I really don't know what to do.....

Ds is 12.5 months and has never been an amazing sleeper but had been sleeping through about 1/2 the time from 8 months.

A month ago we travelled abroad for 3 weeks and he was really very unsettled for the first week but then went back to having great naps and sleeping through the night for the rest of the trip. He was having a long morning nap (2.5 hrs) and a catnap in the pm.

He adjusted fairly well to coming home, we had 2 days in a row with just one nap due to family commitments (he still sttn), then went back to 2 naps and it's all gone wonky ever since.

It's got progressively worse over the last 2 weeks and he is now not settling for naps at all and waking all night

3 nights ago he woke every hour for five hours then I put him in bed with me and he still took over an hour to settle off to sleep. The following day he only had two half hour naps but that night sttn. Yesterday I took him to bed with me to make sure he napped but as I fell asleep with him he had a bit too much sleep I think (a little over three hours) and last night was our worst ever. He didn't settle off to sleep till 8.30pm then woke at 9.30, then again at 10.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep until after 2.30am. I tried eveything in that time, cuddles, homeopathic remedies, calpol, milk, took him into my bed, all to no avail.

Can anyone advise on the best way to deal with this? I can't work out what's causing it and all the things that normally work just don't anymore and I don't know what else to try    

[Mama2boys]

Hi slumberbaby,

Firstly hugs I empathise and I am a mom of a poor sleeper as well.

Could you please write out your approx Awake and nap times so we can take it form there. Might be that you LO is in the middle of the 2-1 nap ytransition and is also OT with all the travelling etc.

[slumberbaby]

Thanks Mukta,

It's hard to put down a typical day at the moment as it's all over the place.

Today looked like this-

A 8.15 (in bed with me, usually he wakes up much earlier)
S 11.30 (this is what time I put him down as he was really moany and I thought it feasible that he would be tired after our epic NW! He didn't go to sleep until 12)
A 12.20
S 2.45 (he was really tired so tried putting him down but he refused to settle. Eventually did go to sleep having a cuddle at about 3.45
A 4.30 (I woke him)
Bed 8 (asleep at 8.15...really good considering how he's been!)

Total day sleep was not much more than 1hr

He just doesn't want me to leave the room when I'm putting him down. For bedtime I sit in the room until he goes to sleep, naptimes are much harder and NW just nothing seems to work. Wake ups of an hour or more seem to be a regular occurence now.

I don't even know what A times to aim for- he can do 3hrs 45 mins in the am but after a long nap he stopped settling for his catnap and when he eventually did go to sleep it would be too late and interfere with bed time.

Also tried limiting the am nap but then nap2 was really hit and miss so thought it was better to just let him sleep in the am.

Any suggestions?? I'm soooooooooooo exhausted and don't know what to try

xx

[lessa]

hugs to you, have you thought about going to 1 nap? we did at 12months for our DS as he did the same thing after a trip oversea to the UK. when we drop to one nap we started getting 1.5/2 hours for the nap. It did take about a week for him to get used to it, but been OK til now and DS is now 27 months

[Mama2boys]

if his firts nap is normally the better one. I'd say let athtbe the main nap and the second nap the catnap and slowly you can push the first nap to a later time and get rid of the second nap.  Or you can do reverse if his afternoon nap is the stronger one and do a morning catnap.

we also prefrred letting teh am nap be a full one and limpiting the pm nap else it use dto be hit and miss ledaing to major OT for us.

Would the above plan work for you?

I'd suggets sticking to your chosen plan for atleats 10 days befor eyou chnage or try something else, but I am sure it will work. Also do keep in mind that he might be Ot and might need to get over that first.

If he misses a pm nap I'd say give him an eralier bedtime and let him slepe a long night to make up for lsot sleep. I knwo it seems like earlier bedtime will make wake-up early, but it won't and will allow the LO to make-up lost sleep.

[slumberbaby]

Thank you both for your suggestions, I agree with keeping the long am nap. I'm not sure if he's ready to do just one nap all the time yet, lessa, but I'll work on extending his morning A time and see what happens.

Yesterday was a 'normal' day and looked like this:

A 8.15
S 10.50
A 1.10
S 4.15
A 4.45
Bed 8.00

We had an awful night, many wakings from about 10pm onwards. The first ones were ok, he settled quickly but from about 1.30am he was hard to settle. The night before was the same, this seems to be the pattern for us most nights now. When he's hard to settle I stay in his room until he falls asleep (sit next to the bed). When he's asleep I go back to bed but soon after he will wake again and get really upset, I guess because I'm suddenly not there. After that it gets really really hard to settle him and he ends up in bed with us.

I can't work out if he's OT or UT- any thoughts? He was really ready for those naps and would have slept much longer for the catnap if I hadn't woken him. He also settled quickly for the naps and bed time which he hasn't done for a while, so progress in one way but why all the NW still??

xx

[Mama2boys]

hmm looks like his sleep was enough and I am wondeirng if part of the problem (as is for my DS) is taht he is use dto being in your bed.

I think a lot of kids wake up during the night but most settle themselves. I'd say try gradual weaning for starters and stop brining him to you room. that seemed to help us. Also it take s afew days for the routine and OT to settle down so a given day might look good but its still not a settled system IYKWIM

try and stick to the below routine for a few days and avoid the bed.

I know its hard but if you can try and nap during the day or something to make-up for your lost sleep.

[slumberbaby]

I know what you mean about bringing him to our bed, but as he settles ok in his cot first of all and then gets really upset when he wakes and I'm not there any more I wonder if it's SA? Or is SA more extreme than that?

I might try sleeping in his room instead and see how that goes.

Thanks for the encouragement, it's so hard to think straight when I'm this tired 

xx

[Mama2boys]

I can write your problems word for words. DS sleeps fine for a nap and settle son his won for a night (with me in the room) but for NW its a nightmare but it will get better, Just keep reassuring him.

NW are probably different as they wake up form deep sleep probably a little dis oriented and its dark and so on..

[slumberbaby]

Thanks for your support Mukta. Sorry your lo has these same issues, it's tough isn't it? The last couple of nights have been better but I have been ill-all the sleepless nights have worn me down 

Happy new year and here's hoping we both get some sleep!

[Mama2boys]

Good to hear that the lats nights were better, It juts got worse for us and blame it on the lovely Molras.,.but hopefully this is the last of it

wish you and your Lo a beautiful 2009 a with lots of restful sleep and happy days. Hang in there trust me it gets better..either that or your sleem needs drop down drasticaly
xoxoxooxoxox

[hokie97]

Just a thought - have you had his ears checked?  My LO did something similar and we tried everything but he ended up having an ear infection and 3 teeth coming in. He had no other symptoms (no fever, no daytime fussiness, etc) - just NW and hard time going to sleep. Just a thought!!! Good luck to you.