My DD is 6 months old, and I stopped using the paci 2 weeks ago because of frequent night wakings. This has uncovered the root problem that she doesn't know how to put herself to sleep. At least with the paci, I had to get up, but usually when I put it back in her mouth she would go back to sleep, now it can be a marathon just getting her back down.
I just read the PU/PD chapter in the book yesterday, and was ready to try it, when I observed that my DD doesn't really cry before sleep, it's what I call fussing (loud, persistent cry with no tears) and the book refers to as "mantra crying". My take on what the book was saying is that you don't do PU/PD with mantra crying, you leave them to soothe themselves. So yesterday I gave it my first go - at naptime, she woke after 45 minutes (her usual pattern) fussing, so I went in and just laid my hand on her chest. After she settled down, I left, and she did fuss for about 40 minutes before ultimately falling asleep again (for another 45 minutes).
Didn't have the stomach to try this again during night wakings as her room is right next to her sister and would be sure to wake her up, so did the usual accidental parenting tricks - pick up, hold, bounce, pat, etc.
Determined to try again at nap today. When she first seemed sleepy, swaddled her with one arm out (as usual), held to her while I sang her a song, and put her down awake. Sure enough, she fussed for about 20 minutes. It then went quiet for about 15 minutes, then the fussing started again, intermittently at first, and then more consistent. I let her go another 45 minutes this way until I finally I couldn't take it anymore and went in, picked her up and held her until she was asleep enough for me to lay her down (she was so exhausted that i didn't have to rock, bounce pat at least). 30 fitful minutes later, she's now awake again.
I'm worried that letting her cry (even mantra cry) for that long is going to create some trust issues. plus, it is torture for me, and as stated, won't work at night. Did I misinterpret the book that I shouldn't be leaving her to fuss by herself, or is this just a battle of wills and I need to toughen up?
Any help is appreciated. Thanks!
