Should I start WI/WO or wait for everything to get back to normal?

[ameliestiredmummy]

I wondered if anyone could help me out - we're having a tough time with sleep at the moment (again) and would like to try WI/WO but there seems to be so much else going on I'm not sure whether just to start or wait for things to get back to normal.

My dd is just over 18 months and we have a history of bad sleeping - the last bout due to being OT. I suspect there's some accidental parenting on my part - she used to sleep in bed with me for the first few months which has undoubtedly not helped. She has, in the past, gone through really good phases of sleeping for 12 - 13 hours at night with 2 hour naps, but this all seems to have gone to pot.

Our nighttime routine hasn't changed since she was about 3 months old - just the time brought forward when she was OT. She has her dinner at 4.45, then a bath followed by milk in her room, then sleep around 6.30/6.45. I have to admit to rocking her to sleep - or almost to sleep, then putting her in the cot and patting or rubbing her back till she's asleep - otherwise she howls if I leave the room and she's awake. 

She has had a horrible cold recently which sounds like it's on its way back, her canines are still pushing through (seems to be going on for ages....) and we have no central heating at the moment as the boiler is broken.  We keep her room quite cool normally, but it's really cold at the moment and has been for 3 weeks now (we need a new boiler which won't be fitted for at least another 3 weeks - and it's been zero or below the last few days).  We also have a neighbour who clomps around in the middle of the night and has woken us all up on many occasions - but it wakes Amelie up very thoroughly.

She has been having several NW for the last few nights - we were away for a few days over Christmas which has unsettled her, but she slept straight through the first night back - clearly to lull me into a false sense of security! She will settle fairly easily with the early NW - a bit of shushing and patting and she'll off again, but if she wakes up anytime after 3 it can take up to 3 hours. She screams if DH goes in - so I''m on my own with it - and I'm really struggling with it. Her naps are also erratic at the moment - sometimes 2 hours, sometime 30 mins - just the one a day at aroumd midday.

I have been reading up on WI/WO and would like to start, but should I wait for the heating to be mended, her teeth to come through and her cold to go - or should I just start? I think the main problem is the heating - she wears lots of layers and is in a sleeping bag, but the air is just so cold when she wakes up I think it's keeping her awake. We use electric heaters during the day but don't like to leave them on at night.

Sorry for the long message - hopefully I've not missed anything out. Can anyone help?

[clazzat]

I know that dd1 had a really dreadful time with canines - she didn't really suffer at all with her other teeth, but these were a real issue.  It went on forever and did impact on her sleep (and she has always been a really good sleeper).  My gut feel, therefore, would be that it would be best to ride it out and not try to do anything too drastic while this is going on.

As for the heating issue, could you get a little fan heater to see you through the next 3 weeks?  It might just warm the air up a bit and make her more comfortable at night.  The other possibility (we kind of discovered this by accident) is a steam humidifier - we got one for dd1 because she has asthma and gets croup regularly so a humid atmosphere helps her to breathe, and we found that it also raises the air temperature a degree or two.  Now that dd2 is going through her umpteenth cold we are using it in her room, and it has helped her to sleep over the last couple of days - we also have a pretty cold house.  It should also help with easing your lo's breathing with the cold - you might be able to add something like karvol to the water (not sure what age you can start doing this) which might clear her airways a bit more.

Hope this helps.  Cx

[ameliestiredmummy]

Hi clazzat,
Thanks so much for getting back to me - especially on New Years Day.
The little monkey is asleep now - and we've left a heater plugged in at the top of her stairs with her door cracked open - hopefully that'll help keep her a bit warmer. I'm so paranoid about electric heaters that I'll be up and down checking it all night, but if it helps!
Her top canines are poking through - they are so sharp, no wonder they cause so much trouble, but her bottom ones are still below the surface, hopefully it won't be much longer till they're through.
I'm going to look into humidifers tomorrow, but not only is our house cold at the moment, it's also damp - so not sure how a humidifer would affect it. I've plugged a Karvol thing into the socket in her room which should help her stuffy nose.
Kinda relieved not to have to start WI/WO right now, but once those teeth are through and the boiler's replaced I might have to! Have you any experience with it?
Thanks for your advice,
Beki x

[clazzat]

You're welcome - we have had a pretty low-key day as we're all exhausted, so I've spent quite a lot of time on here!

We did wi/wo with dd1 about 3 months ago (she was 2 in November) - she went through a phase where she wouldn't settle at night without us going back to give her a cuddle, and after the night when we had to go back to her 9 times we realised we had to do something!  I expected to have a battle with wi/wo, as we have never ever gone into her room to settle her without giving her a cuddle (she was always awake when we put her down, but if she needed calming down we had to pick her up) so the first time I did it I thought she would go ballistic.  She was fine when I stroked her head and told her she was okay, and didn't kick up a fuss at all.  I had to go back to her twice more that first evening, and then twice in total the second evening but since then we have had no problem with it at all.  I realised later that we were often stopping her from drifting off to sleep when we picked her up - she just needed some reassurance rather than to be roused so wi/wo works really well for her.  One thing I would say is that I believe that it works best for lo's who generally sleep well and settle themselves - I'm not sure how well it works if your lo needs help to settle as a general rule.

I don't want to sound like the voice of doom, but the worst bit of the canine teething was after the sharp bit had broken the gum.  You might find that it's a little longer than you might hope before the problem goes away.  Sorry!

Hope you have a reasonable night.  Cx

PS Could you run a heater when she is not in the room to warm it up, then turn it off when she is napping/going to bed so that you don't need to worry about it?

[ameliestiredmummy]

Hi again,
I was wondering if the teeth were still causing a problem - guess so! She did really well last night until our incredibly noisy neighbour started banging around at 12.30 - it took me till 3am to get her back to sleep. When she's woken up with a start she thinks it's time to start the day - luckily she (we) slept in till 8.30, so I guess it could be worse.
When she woke I left her in the cot and patted and shushed for a while, then sat by the cot for an hour but she wasn't asleep. I left her in her room then (I was getting a bit chilly - not so many layers as dd!) and she shouted for a bit then went for a bit, then shouted, then went quiet... on and off for an hour, but then she started crying so I gave in and gave her milk which eventually sent her off to sleep.
I sent my husband next door this morning to have a moan - so hopefully that'll help. Feel a bit mean as she's in her 70's but she won't accept any help with anything, and I can't cope with this much longer!!
re heaters, we left one in her room for 3 hours before bedtime, then at the top of the stairs until 10 and it seemed to be much better. Well, until Stompy the Elephant started next door anyway.
I think we may try WI/WO when all back to normal - I can't bear the thought of letting her CIO.
Anyway, she's asleep at the moment, so I must tidy the chaos!
Thanks again,

Beki x