15-month-old son sitting up for hours (but not crying) during the night...WHY???

[sebastians_mommy]

Hi everyone,

A little background:

My 15-month-old son, Sebastian, has always been a crappy sleeper. He has had a tough go at it since day 1 - to make a long story short, he is currently on Neocate formula only (no solids or drinks of any kind except for water) and has been that way since July. He has many,many severe food allergies and endured quite a bit of internal distress because of them. He is s till healing on his elemental diet. He has multiple environmental/seasonal allergies and GERD, as well as chronic constipation (we think it is from the Neocate). He is on Prevacid, Miralax, and Singulair. He had ear tubes inserted in late October. He obviously has never felt well, so his sleep has always been horrendous. However, he gave up his night feedings on his own (they were a necessity because of his formula-only diet, but we've worked on altering his daily caloric intake) about two weeks ago and has slept through the night four times on his own since.

However, on most other nights, Sebastian wakes up at least twice. He immediately stands up and starts screaming. About once a night on those nights, he lets out a huge burp when I pick him up and then falls promptly back to sleep. But the other times are not so straightfoward. Sebastian will stand up and start screaming. He calms quickly if I pick him up. He is WIDE awake. When I put him down, he starts screaming and stands up. If I leave, he cries for a few minutes and then sits down and quiets. But then he sits there quietly for up to two hours....not crying, not doing anything, really - but his eyes are open. He usually puts his teddy in his lap and just sits (I can see him because I have a video monitor). After a while, I usually can't bear to watch him just sit there, so I go pick him up. He doesn't even stand up when I come in the room. If I sit him in the rocking chair and start rocking, he will eventually go to sleep (we don't rock him to sleep in the chair otherwise). I have sometimes not gone in to see what he'll do, and sometimes he stays up for more than two hours, then falls asleep for an hour or so, and then is up for the day. I don't understand!!

I know he doesn't get enough sleep at all. He is up for the day at 5:30 or 5:45, although I don't go to him until 6. He naps at 11 for 1.25 to 2 hours. He goes to bed at 6:45ish. He is extremely active ALL DAY. I am thinking that I need to move his a.m. nap to a later time, but if he goes down even 10 minutes later, the nap is crap. Sigh.

Any advice and thoughts and welcome!





 

[meltown]

I'm not sure what could be happening....do you think he wakes because of pain?  wheat time is this happening?  do you see any patterns?

[sebastians_mommy]

Hi,

I really don't think it is pain (although he is getting all four molars at present), and I can't believe I am saying that for the first time EVER. The only thing I can think of is that I have been going to him in the morning and after his wakes from his nap before he starts crying. I can see him just sitting there, waking up, so I just get up and go get him. I wonder if he is just waiting for me to get him at night, too? Toda,y I waited until he started whining after his nap to get him, so maybe that will help!

I just feel so bad for him!

[meltown]

I would try not going in until he cries.  I wish I had more infor for you.  how are naps during the day?

[momtothomas]

You're not alone!  DS is 20 months today, and he's been doing the sitting up thing for months now.  He never makes a sound when he gets up, just sits there.  The days I go to work (Tues-Thurs), I get up to work out at 5 and we don't go in to get him until about 6:30.  Since I'm up, I bring the video monitor with me into the workout room.  There are days I see him sitting there, just chewing on his blanket, sometimes for up to an hour or more.  Sometimes he'll lay down after sitting up for an hour, sleep for about 30-40 minutes, than get up again (for the day).

Same with naps - sometimes, he'll sit up after an hour and a half of napping, and he'll sit there as long as I let him (usually during the day, I don't let him sit more than 30 minutes, at which point I realize he's not laying back down).

I'll watch him keep looking towards the door, so I know he's waiting for me or DH to come in and get him.  When this all started, I told myself I'd watch him closely, and the times that he sat up when it really was time to get up, I'd go right in... and if it wasn't time to get up, I'd leave him alone.  I thought that would "train" him to realize that if I didn't come in soon after he sat up that I wasn't coming in yet, and he'd lay back down.  That didn't work for two reasons:  1) Like I said before, sometimes he'll sit there for so long that I have no choice but to go in and get him because it's time to get up.  In those cases, I think he thinks he waited long enough and I came in.   2) I've figured out that even if he's just had a 2 or 3 hour nap and then sits up, if I go in within the first 5 minutes or so of him sitting up, he gets REALLY upset, like he hasn't really had a chance to wake up yet.  Yesterday, he slept 2 hr 45 minutes, and after I saw him sit up, I went in a couple minutes later.  When I turned the light on, he started crying and didn't stop for 20 minutes.  So, I have to give him that time to get "uncranky" and awake.

Anyway, I don't know what to tell you except just take it day by day and trust your instincts.  Most the time, my gut tells me to leave him alone since he's not upset, but I agree with you that sometimes I just feel so bad for him, sitting there watching the door and waiting for me.

When I hear people talking about their kids that sleep so well but don't have a video monitor, I wonder how they can be sure they're really sleeping the whole time... They say, "It doesn't matter if you know or not, just don't go in there until it's time for them to get up."  That's a nice way to think, but if my son is quiet in his crib for 12 hours straight but didn't sleep the last 2 hours, that makes a difference to me!  I'm anal about his sleep, though.

Good luck and sorry to ramble in your post!

[momtothomas]

Just an FYI - this has started happening at bedtime now, which is new.  I'll put him in the bed and he'll lay down, but then after about 15 minutes of squirming, he sits up for a while.  Yippee.