Need face to face help!! PLEASE!

[kcudd]

I am about to loose my mind and can't really understand how to implement EASY!  Is there someone in the Raleigh area who would be willing to come to my home who feels CONFIDENT in applying the BW principles???

[em_here]

Hi there and massive massive hugs.  You will get lots of help and support here, we are all mothers who are going through the same thing. None of us are experts or specialists but we have all been through implementing these techniques

How old is your lo? What is your daily routine?  What are the main issues?

Hope we can help in some way xxxxxxxx

[kcudd]

My son is 9 weeks old and there is no routine except that I try and feed him every 3 hours.  He is spirited (I think) and NEVER sleeps.  I try to watch the clock and his cues for nap times, but he yawns all the time and once he is fussy, it is too late.  He will never go to sleep once he starts fussing.  We don't have problems with short naps, or even getting him to sleep.  Our real problem is getting him drowsy.  I know he is tired, but he never gets drowsy (ie..the 7 mile stare, eye blinking...) no matter what we do (dark room, swaddle, pat/shush).

Also, I am just too crazy to really understand what to do.  I simply don't really get the HOW of EASY.

[LindyLou71]

I am no expert but I think my DS is spirited too - doesn't want to miss a thing.  Does he sleep at night?  Is he able to sit by himself and feel content?  I have started writing down my LO "schedule" and funnily enough he does have a bit of a routine - I think I messed it up today by trying to cluster feed vs just letting him be .  Anyways I know how you feel - I have had days where I cry as much as he does I think. (HUGS) You and I can go crazy together!

[kcudd]

He does sleep some at night, but I have to feed him to sleep (I know, accidental parenting), but it is the only way we can get any rest.  He CAN play by himself if he is not overtired from not sleeping.  I have logged his schedule from day 1 and can't see any pattern.  Most people tell me it will just get better, but I can't possibly see how if I am unable to teach him to sleep on his own.

[summersusu]

Maybe you should work on getting him rested for awhile and then have a go at it later.  Will he sleep for a long duration in the swing or somewhere else?  If you and him get some rest, maybe both of you will be in a better mind set to work on one nap at a time in the crib.

[kcudd]

The only way we can get him to nap during the day is to rock him in his car seat.  Sometimes he goes right to sleep and sleeps until I wake him for his next 3 hourly feed, sometimes he cries and cries and then sleeps fitfully, sometimes he cries and screams, so I take him out and give up for that round.

Furthermore, I have tried the dreamfeed concept, and I just can't get him to do it.  He either wakes fully or doesn't wake at all.  It is hard to shove a breast into a baby's mouth who simply isn't awake.  Clusterfeeds are another issue...he will easily turn into a snacker if I let him and I am afraid cluster feeding will foster snacking in my son's case.

I can't seem to get the 4S wind down routine to work.  He just never gets drowsy.  I have tried to start pat/shush to help him get drowsy and sometimes that works, but when I try to put him down, he gets wide awake again and no amount of pat/shush gets him drowsy again, even if I try the whole routine over.  I must be missing something.

Any ideas on what the schedule would look like if I can't do cluster or dream feeds?

[TDR'smom]

Massive {{HUGS}}}  I can feel the frustration in your post and I feel awful for you!!  It DOES get better, I promise.

First of all 9 weeks is still very young to be on "great" routine, some are by 9 weeks, but many are not!  I know it feels like forever but it is not even 2 months that the little guy has been here!!!

Second, it sounds like he is completely overtired.  What is his current Activity time?  How long after he wakes and eat are you putting him back down for a nap?  When they are overtired, they can act wide awake but then it is almost too late.  At 9 weeks, DD would wake, eat and be put back down for a nap within 1 hour.  Sometimes 1 hour 10 minutes MAX!!!

Try to decrease his A time for now and see how that goes.  If you post what the current routine is like, even if it is not how your want it...that might help us to figure it out with you!

xxx
Judy

[kcudd]

I start trying to get him down after he has been awake for 45 minutes-1 hour.  The wake up times are so inconsistent and feedings are anywhere from 2.5-3 hours so that every day looks vastly different.  I just can't figure it out.


THANKS for all your help!  I know it will get better.

[LindyLou71]

We sleep our son in his carseat.  I do the whole routine (wind down) but that is where he sleeps best - sort of upright (hence the reflux question)  I have tried to swaddle and put him in his crib but he wakes up screaming.  I agree you need to get some rest as does he.  I would try to get rested then start to "schedule" again.

Our DS was so overtired b/c I was putting him down to sleep in his crib/cradle/bassinette and lying down is uncomfortable for him - it causes pain b/c of the regurg he gets with his immature esophagus and such.  Now up right he sleep - I have noticed he needs to be put back to bed within 1 hour - 1 hour 15 mins of waking or else I am in trouble and it will mess his whole day. 

We have HUGE fussy time in the evening, partly my fault b/c if he only cat naps we get 7 hours at night from him - 8:30 to 4.  We used to push bed/bath routine to 10 but when I noticed how miserable he was getting early we changed it and he actually sleep longer then he did say we put him down at 11 he would still wake at 4. With the 8/8:30 bedtime he is a lot happier

I checked with my Doctor about the carseat and a couple friends who have babies with Reflux they all used it - she said no prob just make sure the straps are tucked under so he can't hurt himself. 

Good luck - I am new too and although I have had 2 good days I have had so many bad/tough ones

[summersusu]

As far as the carseat I just purchased from Babies R Us, the frame that swings the carseat.  You just plop the carseat in the frame and it swings it like a swing.  If your carseat is compatable, maybe you could try it.  I have the swing in his room where it is dark and white noise (cool mist humidifier) running to drown out noise.  Sometimes he will cry for a minute but as long as I get him in there within an hour or an hour and 10 minutes after waking he is good.  My LO is 9 weeks today.  He is bottle fed though.  Is your LO getting enough milk, do you think it might be hunger.  You can check the breastfeed board for help on that.

[kcudd]

He does have reflux, but can sleep at night in his crib without waking from the reflux.  I have that swing that you put the carseat in and it doesn't work to get him to sleep.  We have to physically rock it on the floor.  I don't think hunger is an issue because he is pretty content to wait 3 hours between feeds even if he is up.

[charmie]

Do you wake him up to start your day at the same time?  That should add some consistency to your day.


xxx
charm

[clh]

I'm not good at EASY advice, but just wanted to let you know that my bf'd ds's wouldn't cluster or dream feed, either.  I didn't try to force a timeline on them; I let them try to follow E-A-S as they would, regardless of what time it was.  When that got more consistent, I started fiddling with it to make the clock time better match what I wanted.  {{hugs}}  Your ds *is* still really little, and it *will* get better. 

[charmie]

Candice I think that WAS good EASY advice.  EASY is not about timings as every lo will be different.  But it's about doing activities in the same order.


xxx
charm