9.5 months - constant NW...Help please!

[sharonzhao]

Hi I'm new to this board. My 2nd girl was a perfect baby before 6 months. She could sleep through the night almost from the 1st day she was born ( she was born a big baby - 8LB!). But she went to 6 months checkup and got 4 shots. Around the same time I gave her solid food and changed the formula for her. Then my nightmares starts! She is now almost 10 months old and I even couldn't recall the last time she gave me a solid sleep more than 5 hours! My situation: I work full time and my husband work full time in another state and only comes back during weekends. So I don't have any help during the weekdays with two girls. My 1st daugther is 4 years old and co-sleep with me. The 2nd one sleeps in her own crib/room and put her into my bed is just not an option. She's taking care of by nanny and here is  her daily routine:

8:00am 7oz formula
8:30-9:00 am some baby cereal or soft rice soup
11:00 am about 1 hour of morning nap , usually very good (but most of time the nanny has to hold her to sleep)
12:30 - 1:00pm 6oz   formula
1:30pm  jar food (green bean) or more cereal; soem apples after that
2:30pm afternoon nap - about 1.5 to 2 hours long
5:30pm 6 oz formula
6:00pm some snacks, just to keep her busy when we are having dinner
7:40pm start wash her
8:00pm 7oz formula and then pad / rock to sleep around 8:30pm

From 8:30pm to 12:00am she could wake three times. I have to do PDs constantly. The she wakes up around 1:20am, then 4 to 5 am, then every hour till 8am. She is a very happy baby during the day and give you a big smile each time you smile at her. She is also a very healthy baby without any sickness or serious fusiness so far. Sometimes I noticed she is gassy but not very severe during nights. Two months ago I had to put her on CIO sleep training. I could leave her cry for two hours and two or three nights in a row, then she's better for about one week. The she starts 3 to 8 NWs again...My heart was broken into pieces when I heard her calling "mama baba"...But I had serious sleeping problems even without kids, and now I almost forget about the taste of sound sleep altogether! (I have about 5 hours sleep in last 72 hours maybe). Please give me some advice! Any help will do!

 

[Peek-a-boo]

{{Hugs}}  I see it's been a few days since you posted, how are things going now?

I think the key here is consistancy.  If baby is being rocked to sleep, then she's probably having trouble transitioning through sleep cycles on her own during the night and so is wanting to you come back and rock her again.  If you're doing pu/pd only for night wakings, that's going to be cnofusing for a her. 

 For a baby to learn to sleep independently, it's important that you commit to putting baby down independently at every sleep.  I guess what I'd do is set aside a week or two to really tackle sleep training.  I'd use pu/pd (let me know if you need help with how to do that for this age) and have the nanny do the same so she's going into the crib awake for every sleep and falling asleep there. 

Usually once a baby is falling asleep independenlty with consistancy, night waking tend to resolve themselves. 

As you may know, Tracy, the Baby Whisperer, believed we should never use CIO methods, that we need to be there by baby's side as she learns to fall asleep independently.  Pick up / put down would be the recommended sleep training strategy a this age.  Using CIO can often complicate things in the end because baby can become afraid of her crib and that will make her less likely to settle in the night rather than more likely to do so.

Let me know if you want help coming up with a more detailed plan for how to proceed!  Sleep training is really hard work, but so worth it in the end! 

{{Hugs}} I hope you get some sleep soon!

[sharonzhao]

Hi Bethany,
Thank you very much for your kind reply. Since I didn't get any reply for the first couple if days I stopped checking the website in last few days. Now things get really worse. My poor little baby could wake up every 30 min in first two hours of sleep, then every hour in the rest. I strongly agree with you that CIO is a very very bad idea - I used it in several cycles starting November 2008, and now I have to totally give it up with the final result much worse than before CIO. Like you said, she was so afraid of the crib and I lie her down there. When she was awake she started to panic and murmured "mom, papa" at the same time. Actually I know being consistent is a key so although I hate CIO I had to carry on because if I gave up all her cries before was gone into nothing. Until one week ago, she was crying and crying for an hour, and when I walked into her room, I found her standing up on the corner of the crib for at least 40 min! Poor girl. That's how she learned to stand up finally. I opened the TV monitor 40 min ago before entered into her room but found a black screen - then later I found she somehow turned it off at her end. That's why I couldn't use CIO anymore. I found I had to pay it back because she turned to be very sensitive and I have to spend more time with her every waking. She is now 10.5 months, and I don't know how long I will have to wait till she could sleep at five or six hour stretch? She used to be so good...Another funny thing is, in last week she poopoo around 2:00am at least three days. She could poopoo three times in a 24 hour period, and the poopoo look very good. I know quite some NWs are due to too many "tummy" activities. I really couldn't understand why. She is such a happy and easy-going baby during the day, eat well, sleep well and play well...Anyway, here is her current schedule. Can anybody let me know what I did wrong and make her so exited during the night (besides CIO)?

6:45am-7:00 am -  wake up. She usually wake up with poopoo so I clean her up and let her lie down with me and my older daughter on my bed till 7:30
8:00 am bottle fed 7OZ
8:30 am soon after formula, eat rice crawl/barley cereal or some home-made rice soup
9:00am - 10:00am activities she just learned to crawl when she was exactly 10 mon old
10:00am - 11:30am morning nap She coulnd sleep on her own for most of the time one week ago - now she has to be held or rocked at the latter part of the nap
12:00pm - bottle feed 6oz, then soon after the formula she would have lunch (jar food with mixed fruit and ceral, or home-made smashed noodles with vegetables and chicken meat)
1:00pm - 2:30pm activities
2:30pm or 3:00pm start afternoon nap, usually 1.5 or 2 hours. She has to be held after half an hour...
5:00pm: bottle feed (6oz) then fed with cereal
7:30pm - start to wash
8:00pm - have 7oz bottle and sleep
9:00pm- the 1st wake, hold and rock and lie down in 5 min ...
9:40pm - the 2nd wake, can be quiet down in 5 or 10 min...
Then from 10:00pm to 7:00pm - no more routine; can wake up every 30 min, or every 1 hour or two hours. But lately she was totally awake around 1:30am and I found she was having poopoo. She usually sit up in her crib in this time.

Tried to recall how my older daughter behaved at the same age, but I never used CIO on my older daughter. Really hated it. Couldn't imagine how I put her down before she is awake. She would be very resistant. Should I walk away, or use PUPD? Or just hang in there till she is bigger? I have to ask for more helps!

[Peek-a-boo]

Hi hun, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your new post and will respond soon.  My toddler is sick and I'm swamped. 

One question--you mention switching formula and starting solids around the time that her sleep went haywire.  Is there any chance that she's in pain or discomfort from eating something that's disagreeing with her?  Does she act in pain at night when she's waking? 

My DS is intolerant of dairy and even small amounts of dairy cause him to wake with very painful intestinal cramps. 

I think it's more likely just that she needs to get comfortable with her crib again and then have you stay with her while she learns to fall asleep without being rocked, but I'll write more about aht soon . . . just wanted to check about the food first . . .

[sharonzhao]

Hi Bethany, thanks very much for your reply while your toddler is sick. Hope he feels better today (I just assume you have two sons from the picture at the left side). You do make me feel warm because someone is there trying to help. I'm not sure about intolerance of dairy - maybe it is part of the reason? Actually I used the Enfirmil Gentlease and then changed to Good Start because of the BOGO coupon ( why I did that?!!!). After one week I changed her back to Gentlease till now. She did show signs of discomfort in her digest system, esp. before 12:00am. When I hold her, she distort or straighten her little body from time to time. She passed a lot of gas. I've thought of dairy too but Gentlease seems to be very gentle already right? Most of the time I thought maybe because she couldn't accept some solid food yet. Last night was a very bad night too. She woke up every 20 - 30 min before 12, then slept about two hours, and woke up sitting in her crib around 2:00am. I changed her diaper ( it was wet), then I finally settled her down at 4:30. She woke up again at 6:30 in very upset and sleepy status, and I had to rock her while walking to make her sleep a little while before my bigger one got up. I myself slept about 30 minutes altogether. If this situation continues both my poor baby and I will get very sick. I tried to stay with her at the side of the crib and wait for her to fall asleep. But instead she got very excited and stand up looking around everytime I put her down, including the time when she was very very sleepy ( the poor thing rub her eyes, and pull her hair and still try hard to stand up holding the fence). I have no idea what I should do now -become very inconsistent I know....but as you said, it's just a phase.

[sharonzhao]

By the way, I do need advice about how to do sleep training at this age! I will try my best to follow the plan once I know. But please take good care of your toddler first. Thanks a bundle!

[Peek-a-boo]

Just to clarify, so she's back on Gentleease?  I really don't know much about formula types.  If there does seem to be some digestive discomfort, I'd consider really taking a look at the solids she's eating.  Cereals (rice, oatmeal, etc) especially those fortified with iron can be constipating and upsetting for little tummies.  I might consider temporarily eliminating cereals/grains from her diet and scaling back to a foods that are generally considered eay to digest like mild fruits and veggies--pears, squash, etc.

For sleep training . . .

Because of the past use of CIO, I think I would use a combination of pu/pd and gradual withdrawal.  Do you have the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems book?  If so, I'd look through the whole chapter on pu/pd, paying special attention to the section for ages 8-12 months.  Here is a cheat sheet from the pu/pd FAQ board:

8 MONTHS TO A YEAR - At this age you really don’t do any pick up as babies 8 months and up tend to soothe faster in the crib. 

·   You wait for them to stand up or pull up and then you place them back down so they are looking away from you and not at your face.
·   If you feel they are truly frantic and need more you can pick them up for a moment but you put them straight back down. 
·   At this age it’s important to use your voice even more.  Your baby will start to recognize what you are saying, eg. “I’m not  leaving you, you’re not alone, it’s nap time” etc. 
·   At this age you may need to pair pu/pd with gradual leaving of the room.  First you stay in the room until asleep, then move a few feet from the crib, in a few days you move to the door, then out the door. 

What I would do is first work on getting her comfortable with her crib again.  An idea from the BWSAYP book, page 238, "If you child has an aversion to her crib, put her in it when it's not time to sleep.  Make it into a game.  Put lots of fun toys in the crib (remember to take them out at bedtime, though).  Put her in and play peekaboo.  At first stay in the room with her.  Busy yourself, putting clothes away, for example, but talk to her the whole time.  As she become involved with her toys and begins to see that the crib is quite enjoyable and not a prison, you'll eventually be able to leave the room.  Don't overdo it, though--and never leave her to cry." 

I had to build up doing this really gradually--just a few minutes of peekaboo at first--but slowly he was willing to be there for a few minutes at a time and it really did seem to help with him going in more cheerfully at sleep times. 

Then I'd find a time when you have a clear two window week where she can be home for her all her sleep times and you can really work on sleep training.  Because of the history of CIO, I'd start by sleeping in her room on the floor for a few nights.  I would set up a makeshift bed for yourself in her room.  When you put her down, do pu/pd as needed until she's settling, then I'd stay in the room and sleep on the floor.  As she starts to get the hang of falling asleep on her own, then start scootching your make shift bed closer to the door every 2-3 nights until your in the doorway and eventually into the hall and out of her room. 

Does that seem workable?

[sharonzhao]

Hi Bethany, your message is quite informative. I love the plan! I will try that 2st step and make her feel safe first when she stays at her crib alone. Will update her progress.

How's your toddler? Thank you very much for your help!

[Peek-a-boo]

My toddler is doing better!  Thank you  

Let me know how things go and if you need help as things go along.

[sharonzhao]

Hi Bethany, glad to know your baby is getting well. Last Thursday my girl slept from 8:30pm to 6:30am without any wakings! But wait...I was about to report on her progress and last night she waked every hour or two hours again! The daily roytines were very similar. I dropped some food from her daily diet, make her sleep longer in the afternoon (around 2 to 2.5 hours) during both of these two days. The only difference was her bedtime was kind of late yesterday evening (she finally fall asleep around 9:00pm). So I will make her sleeptime reallly early today. I haven't try any sleep traning yet, because she still can't stay alone awake in her crib. Will make her feel comfortable first. Will work on that and report. THX!

[Peek-a-boo]

Wow, sounds like at least one great night!   I hope you're able to see some patterns and continued improvement.