What if you can NOT get them to go back to sleep after they wake from naps?

[babyboy26]

I am new to the site, and haven't browsed every topic, so I apologize if something similar has already been posted.  My son is 5 1/2 months old.  I have started using pu/pd when needed.  He is waking from naps around 35-45 minutes.  I try for sometimes 1 1/2 hours to get him to go back to sleep for naps, and am mostly unsuccessful.  I feel extremely guilty because I feel like he gets almost no activity time the past few days.  He is spending almost all day in his crib because I am trying to get him to go back to sleep, and he won't.  By the time I know it, it's time for his next feed.  Then, after a short, quiet wake time, it is time for another nap.  The cycle continues.  Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

[Mashi]

I only try for 20 minutes, and then accept that he is not sleepy and we will only spend the time fighting - not nice for either of us. I get him up and have a quiet activity until his next nap, and move that a bit earlier.

If you post your daily routine someone may be able to see if there is anything that can be tweaked to help with the cause of short naps?

[binxyboo]

Hi and welcome to BW!That sounds no fun, for you or your little guy!

Would you like to share a typical days routine with us, so we have a general idea of what time he eats, how long his A times usually are etc?

eg 7am wakes and feeds
    9am Nap

That will give us a better idea of what is going on, and we might be better able to make suggestions from there.

[~Kiki]

Don't beat yourself up too much over naps. As a mom of a 2 1/2 year that has gone through cycles of great naps and horrible naps, I noticed that many of the times my lo had bad nap cycles was around the times big developmental steps where occurring or about to occur. Right now, we're going through a week of bad naps, but we've got molars coming in. Unfortunately they don't always stick to a routine or schedule we set Good luck and enjoy your lo they grow up so fast!!!

[babyboy26]

Routine???  Yes, we have one, but it is NOT consistent.  We just went from 3-hour to 4-hour...I read I was supposed to do 4-hour sooner, but I didn't.  I am just trying BW techniques the past 3 days.  The past 2 days went like this:

Yesterday:

E:  6:50
A:  until 8:35
S:  8:35-10:00 (1 hr. 25 min. happy with this...but see later in the day)

A:  10:00 - 10:50

E:  10:50
A:  until 12:25
S:  12:25 - 1:00 (only 35 min)

A:  1:00 - 2:50 (tried to extend nap, but did not work) 

E:  2:50
A:  until 3:55 (to keep him up for 30 minutes after feed--low key quiet time)
S:  3:55 - 4:40 (45 min.)

A:  until 5:30 (to get back to sleep...took 50 minutes)
S:  5:30 - 6:10 (40 min.)

E:  6:50
A:  Until 7:45
S:  7:55 (for the night)

Today:  (so far)

E:  6:50
A:  unitl 8:45 (watched cues and put down same as yesterday, but fell asleep 10 min. later)
S:  8:45 - 9:20 (45 min.)

A:  9:20 - 10:45 (tried to get back to sleep, but did not work)

E:  10:50
A:  until 11:45 (to keep him up for 30 minutes after feed--low key quiet time)
S:  11:45 - 12:20 (35 min.)

A:  It is now 1:20, and he is still not back asleep.  He is wiggling around in his crib. 

[babyboy26]

Also wanted to add...he does not get any solids yet.  I do not do a dream feed, as I never have.  He does sleep very well at night...which is why I'm so confused!

[anna*]

I'm like Mashi, if he wakes early I would try for 15 mins or so but it soon becomes clear if he's not going to settle. No point making both of you miserable. Does he respond to shh-pat, or having his back rubbed, to soothe and calm him? If so you could try going in to him at about 30 mins and putting a hand on his back and see if you can ease him back to sleep before he fully wakes? How do you usually settle him for naps and bedtime?

Remember to keep the next A time shorter if a nap is shorter - the average is 2-2.5 hours at this age, but after a short nap he'll be able to handle less. On some days that may mean you need to fit in an extra nap.

anna
x

[babyboy26]

I do a wind-down...go into nursery, lights off, close blinds, ocean waves on.  He usually settles himself to sleep on his own.  He just can't seem to STAY asleep!  When I go in, most of the time he seems so wide awake.  He smiles up at me.  He wiggles around like it's play time.  He usually cries when he wakes from the last nap of the day...I think because he's OT.  I know the last nap is supposed to be a catnap, but if he didn't have good naps earlier in the day, can that be a longer one?

[anna*]

If he's having lots of short naps, I'd take the longer sleeps where you can get them - but make sure it doesn't get too close to bedtime. Can you go into him before he wakes? It looks like you're getting around 2.5hrs of A time even after short naps, so he may be getting more and more OT as the day goes on? I'm wondering what would happen if you tried keeping those A times to around 2 hours - he seems to sleep better for his first nap of the day after a shorter A time?

Just some ideas, sorry not to be more helpful.

anna
x

[babyboy26]

His first nap was really good yesterday, but not today. The reason his A times are so long is because I have been unable to get him to go back to sleep after a short nap.  The entire A time is spent trying to get him back to sleep, or just letting him wiggle in his crib.  Then, it is time for a feed.  Should I not keep him up after the feed?  I was only keeping him up a little longer so that he wouldn't think he sleeps right after a feed. 

[anna*]

Well the things I would do are
1) don't keep trying to extend the nap indefinitely. Put a time limit on it, and if you can tell he's not going to settle after say 20 mins, give up
2) try going into his room at around 25 mins, and see if it's possible to ease him back to sleep before he's fully awake

As long as you're not actually feeding to sleep, you can keep a pretty short A time afterwards if necessary, maybe 10 mins or so. The main thing is not feeding to sleep, as long as you're putting him down awake that is a good start for now. If he sleeps less than an hour, I would aim to start heading back to bed (for wind-down routine etc) after 1hr45, asleep by 2hrs.

[babyboy26]

Ok...I just wasn't sure how long I should keep trying to extend the nap.  As I said in a previous post, I feel guilty because I feel as though he's been in his crib most of the day.  That isn't fair to him.  So, I suppose then he may take 2 naps in between a feeding sometimes? 

[anna*]

I guess that could happen.

I do think it's important to try and extend, but not at the expense of everything else, iyswim. It might be a question of experimenting with A times. And definitely better to have more shorter naps than to end up with an overtired baby.

Gosh, I wish this was more helpful. Hopefully one of the mods will be along with some better advice.

(((hugs))) I know this is hard, but it's worth it and it will get easier.

anna
x

[Mashi]

Argh - I wrote a long reply and hit post as I ran up to tend to DS and DH went onto another website before it was done posting!. ARGH ARGH ARGH.  Sorry - but no time now...boooo

[babybarr]

I would put a white noise CD on after DS woke and that usually was enough for him to listen to then put himself back to sleep. It was of rain noise.

I know how frustrating short naps are and I would find cos he was OT it'd be even harder the next nap.  See if there is anything that works to get him back to sleep - maybe one of those musical things with lights that turns on when he cries?

Good luck