Support for Raising Spirited Babies Part 3

[A pair of Charlies]

...marking...

[sherry lynn]

Mollydolly,
Something I didn't know until I came to this website is that the awake time for LO who are very young is under and hour. When I first started easy using the book I thought Lyle was supossed to be getting close to 1.5 hours, and he was always super OT. Also for spirited LO by the time they yawn it is often too late. So keep track of your days for awhile and pin point about the time he yawns. That helped me out a whole lot.

[campbellchick]

Hi Mollydolly, just read your post and wanted to say that when my dd was Molly's age, I could have written your post myself.  It definitely brought back memories for me.  My dd started sleeping really well after she turned 6 months.  I just kept working on ssh/pat the whole time and her naps started getting better from about 4 months or so, still very inconsistent though.  Like your schedule, it was not in the EAS form of a day!  At 6 months things just changed and she became a brilliant, consistent napper - of course this was the time I started back at work so daycare got to reap the rewards of all of our hard work - but I was still glad because it made life so much easier.  Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was in the same boat and felt the same way (I felt so depressed on the days she just would not sleep) and things definitely got better.  Good luck, I'm sure we'll hear from you again 

Linds, we'll miss you on here so be sure to let us know when you've had the bub.  However, I might be joining you on the spirited child thread asking for help with Hunter (and probably Holly soon now that she is almost 1).   I definitely hope for your sake #2 is an angel or textbook baby for you (although the spirited personalities are just so golden - so you win either way) .  It is funny that DH even commented on how much more of a personality that Holly has than Hunter did at her age.  We hate saying that about our own children, but the difference is just so noticeable.

[shresmummy]

Hi ladies, I haven't been on for a while. But just wanted to let you know that i'm making absolutely NO progress in trying to extend DD's 30 min naps! I am feeling so down...she settles beautifully for the first put down and goes to sleep nicely without sh/pat even sometimes! But at 30 mins her eyes open and she immediately starts playing and babbling.

I wanted your advice on how I should deal with this 30 min play mode she gets into! Any ideas? Should I just leave her to see if she'll settle. I tried that once a week ago and disaster struck! I have been too scared to try  again..she started crying eventualy in 20 mins after playing in the cot and then was too tired and I could not for the life of me resettle her...it took ages of trying, the boob and even a vacuum cleaner! Do you think she still hasn't learned to self soothe?

I am trying very hard not to get her OT but it just never seems to work!! please help again!! Thanks heaps and look forward to hearing from you. OH and btw, every now and then randomly she'll do a 1 hr or 1.5 hr nap. I have no idea what I have done differently.

[mollydolly]

Thanks cambellchick - it's lovely to know others have been through what i'm going through and more importantly, there's light at the end of the tunnel!! What did you do when you say you working on the shh/patting? It seems to be getting harder for me...as i've explained below.

Thanks sherry lyn...I kept a close eye on Molly this morning and she did appear to be tired before the hour was up so put her down and after 10mins or so of mantra crying she went off and I woke her after 1.5hrs. However, the following sleeptime didn't go as well...after the hour of EA she started to rub her eyes so I took her upstairs and swaddled her in her crib at which point she started crying so I picked her up and attempted to shh/pat her but she ended up getting really upset and screaming in my ear. The shh/patting never used to be so traumatic as it is these days and it's unbearable to have her craning her head back and smashing it on my shoulder and screaming.
So, rightly or wrongly I took her out for a walk and got 30mins of sleep out of her but about 10mins from home she woke and cried so I ended up having to carry her the rest of the way.
I've since been to the dentist and left her with her dad who is more patient than me and managed to bear the screaming and got her to sleep for 40mins but she's still very OT and miserable. So, since 11am she's have 1hr 10mins of sleep and it's now 5.20pm.
Any suggestions?

Also, what about the fact she starts the day at a different time every day? She has a bath at 7pm followed by a feed and we put her down around 8pm and she wakes any time between 1-5am for a feed. Last night she woke at 4am and again at 6am and went back to sleep till I woke her at 8.30am as I was worried we would get all behind with the feeds. Should I have got up at 6am? If not, should I be waking her in the mornings? Also, should I wake her from her morning nap which I always have to do usually on the 2hr mark, even though I know she won't sleep properly for the rest of the day as bw says not to let them sleep through a feed.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

[Mileshunt]

MollyDolly - big hug to you.  We had all kinds of nap issues too in early days.  I wish I'd known then that it was nigh on impossible to AP my baby because I would have been less stressed at going for walks with the buggy etc.  We used shhh/pat but gradually the shhhing wound her up so we found that light pressure on DD's back helped her calm down.  I would agree that keeping an eye on tired signs over a few days is a good plan.  Also i got to a point (around 3/4months) where I thought sod it and would go for a walk at catnap time so at least DD got 1 sleep and I got some fresh air.  You're doing a good job by the sounds of it and it's great that your mum & DH are helping out so you can get a break.  Take as much help as you can!!

Shresmummy - we used to get the odd proper nap too and I could never figure out what I'd done differently either!

I would agree with Campbellchick and say for us naps got easier from 6months too. In fact DH thought we had the most bad tempered baby ever at first but it was just down to OT and from 6months we started to see her sunny side more

I will keep you all posted (if I get time with a baby + toddler ) of our new arrival.  I have to say that L was an absolute angel when we were coming back off hols.  We were involved in a potentially nasty collision on one of the motorways nr Manchester (not our fault) and all 3 of us walked away without a scratch.  Laura took it all in her stride and wasn't phased at all by all the strange people or riding in a breakdown truck.  So having a very curious, fearless spirited baby can be a very big plus!!

Linds x

[A pair of Charlies]

Hi all & welcome Afonso_mum & Molly Dolly! 

Molly Dolly: wow your LO sounds like Charles at that age. Used to drive me to tears that I'd just stop the pram for a second and he'd wake...Just a thought on the ssh patt, have you tried scaling it back and doing less to get her to sleep? Or dropping the ssh; simply patting then resting your hand on her gently til she sleeps?

Heidi: we do a bath every night. Stimulating but relaxes pretty quickly. I use lavender based stuff and the dry-off time is treated as wind-down for us (usually  ).

GLW: We got stuck in a routine rut featuring 45 min naps (sometimes 30mins). I increased A times and we started getting good naps. Bored and tired signs were almost identical for us. A change of scene and he was happy to stay awake longer.

Kerrie, Sherry: I'm back in my own bed! Hurrah!! I'm expecting regression again. Failing that, when DS gets his first girlfriend I'm sending him to her house so I can get some sleep!   

[sherry lynn]

Good news Charlotte

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

That's great Charlotte, nothing like your own bed (I used to sleep in Spencer's room, but at least she had a rug!)

Bathtime has been doing the trick, wears her out and is somewhat relaxing....have to use unscented stuff though as she gets bad eczema. We've all had bad colds lately and she's been dragged out to the doctor a couple of times, so things are a bit off, but not as bad as I thought they would be!

Heidi

[AshleyB]

For those of you with older ones: How soon did yours walk? Chandler, who is still 9 months, started standing on her own this week, and is walking easily and quickly with just a light touch on my hands for support. I wonder how much longer it will be until she tries it on her own.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Masyn was 10 months old.....I hope Spencer waits a little longer than that, but then my DH walked at 8 months so it could be worse!

Heidi

[A pair of Charlies]

WOW Ashley,,,she sounds like she'll be off brfore you know it!!

[Mileshunt]

She must really want to be on the move Ashley!  DD pulled up at 9mo & could cruise then but didn't get walking properly until 14mo.  I guess crawling was just too much fun/easier!  It's so cute when they can walk!

L x

[eclaire]

Charlotte:  I laughed out loud on the sending your LO to his girlfriends...when we have set backs, what I have said to my DH is that when my DS gets a girlfriend I'm going to encourage her to stay overnights for sleepovers with him

We just got back from a trip to visit family where we started off with a big visit with a binch of family where he was the hit of the party but got so OS and OT.  I tried to get us going in time but we didn't quite make it so he went from laughing hysterically to crying hysterically.  Which my SIL said was just an act and not real crying Then once I got him settled and off to bed he proceeded to roll over 20-30 times during the night where he would roll over on his tummy and pop up on to his hands and knees...so since we were in the same room I would roll him back on to his side and he would be fast asleep again for another 20 min.  The next night he kept waking up crying every 20 minutes...I wanted sleep so badly that I tried nursing and rocking to settle him and he would settle for a few minutes and even then be crying.  I ended up getting quite sick with the flu and a nasty headache from the extreme exhaustion.  AND, I managed to get a blister on my nipple from all the nursing and moving around while he was nursing I guess.

I am so impressed with the consistency and patience I hear from each of you on this board.  I'm sure we'd be much further ahead if I didn't back slide into bad APing so quickly.  You ladies are really amazing!!!

[sherry lynn]

Claire - don't be too hard on yourself, vacations/family visits always through things off - once you get back home though - you have to stick to your guns, knowing that it will actually be easier in the long run.   You can do it