Need help!

[AfonsoandDinisMum]

Hi.

My DS is 21 mo and always has been a good eater. But now we are facing some problems in that department...

Since about little over 3 months ago, he started wanting to eat for himself, with little help from others, which was great unless it was soup... most of it went every other place rather than his mouth. But at that stage, we could easily distract him with some other things and I managed to give him his meal, while him, with another spoon, practice for himself.

Now, every dinner time, we have a melt down.

I try to give him dinner, and he says "No". Then, I ask him if he wants to eat by himself, and he also says "No" and trys to throw the plate away. So I say to him, if he doesn't want to eat, I take the food away, or eat it myself, and he screams "NO" and starts crying. I try to give him again his food, and again he rejects it. Then I put his plate in the table with us, and he asks for it, but when I give it to him, he refuses again...

I don't now what to do... I know he is hungry, but everyday dinner time is a battle. He eventually eats, but only the things  he wants...

Please, can someone give me an opinion?

Thank you

Hugs

[RyansMum]

Oh hugs sounds very stressful!  When he refuses to eat are you giving him anything else afterwards (ie what he wants?) If so that could be the main reason for his refusal and the fact he is getting to that stage of wanting things his way (the terrible twos). I would set it down in front of him and tellhim he can eat it or not but there won't be anything else. Perhaps include him in any prep you can like washing veg.

If he throws it on the floor be as calm as you can (so easier said than done) and just clean it up or even get him to help you clean it up, not as punishment just to show what happens.

Hugs, I am sure other ladies will have some more suggestions as well.

[AfonsoandDinisMum]

Hi RyansMum.

Thank you for your support.
Afonso is eating what ever we are eating, and that is only what I give him. We usually eat some soup, and after that a little of fish or meat, and after some fruit.
What usually happens is that he won't eat his soup, but after some screaming, crying, throwing everything on the floor, he will eat the fish or meat, and after that, and again after a little while, he will eat the fruit.

It so frustrating to me, because he was always a very good eater... he would eat everything that we put in front of him, without any fuss or trouble, and because of that I'm not used to this behaviour...

It probably his developmental, maybe because he is getting to the terrible twos...

Hugs

[RyansMum]

Mmmm could also be frustration. Soup is pretty tricky to eat and he may not be able to satisfy his hunger quick enough because he is having to be so careful and concentrating so hard on picking any up.  Perhaps lay off the soup and concentrate on things that he can use his fork for or that is easily picked up by a spoon.

[AfonsoandDinisMum]

Ok.
Thank you for your help and support. I will try that.
The problem is that he his a spirited boy, and wants to do all by himself, with no help...

Thanks

Hugs

[RyansMum]

Independence I hear ya!!

[mum101]

I think it's great he's wanting to do it himself... just put him in old clothes and look away!  LOL   

Maybe just stick to foods he can feed himself easily, maybe it was just frustration about hard foods, or not being able to feed himself a food.

[~Faye~]

When we have soup I always give Ellie a little bread to dip into it. So she is still feeding herself so not getting mad (she won't take a spoon except for breakfast) but she is still getting it in her. But yes, it gets very messy

Big {{hugs}}

[AfonsoandDinisMum]

Hi everyone!

Afonso continues refusing to eat his soup, and I don't know what to do!

I don't think that the problem with him is that he gets fraustrated by not being able to eat his soup by himself, because I've seen him eating it in daycare, and there he always eats it.

Does anyone have any sugestion on how I can make him eat his soup?

Thanks  and hugs

[RyansMum]

Try the bread angle like Faye suggested?  Perhaps he is not too keen on it. I find my son will eat more at nursery cos he sees the others eating, perhaps that is the same for your lo?

[acostalobo]

does he eat at the same time as you and Dad?  Nazaré went through a stage like this and it helped alot if she saw us eating as well.
another thing that works with her is if whilst she is eating her meat/fish/whatever as finger food (because she hasnt quite mastered the art of eating with cutlery) between mouthfuls she will accept a spoonful of soup or two and generally ends up eating it all.
Something else that contributed to her acting the way Afonso is, is because she returns from day care extremely tired and worn out.
bless her, last night she was falling asleep at the table - didnt even bother giving her a bath cause i know it would be an ordeal - rubbed her down with wipes, fresh diaper, pj´s , bottle and bed!

[mum101]

Eating soup at daycare will be a different experience for him. he's with a group of kids who probably do it, perhaps he's tired at the end of the day if that's when you are giving it to him. Our experience of day care is that they are much more relaxed about messy foods than I ever was so they are more willing to try (naturally they don't have to wash the clothes afterwards  )

The bread is a great idea, Rory loves to dip into pumpkin soup etc. Could also be a novelty for him which will get his focus off refusing.

But I wouldn't worry, just offer him something different. If you like him getting vegies I made a healthy vegie slice if you want the recipe. I cut it into fingers for DS to feed himself.

[youngmom21]

My son is at daycare too and he comes home sleeping every night. I try to give him an easy meal something that he likes and it is not so complicated to eat. Mybe some chicken and veggies, steak, some rice too or mashed potatoes. Maybe try to start with something he can eat with his fingers, then if you see he is hungry still try the soup, if he wont take it try the next thing you have prepare for dinner and try one more time. If no luck try to eat it with him. One spoonful for mommy one for baby and so on, also mention how good the soup is. And if you see that he is eating, continue feeding him until he is done, if not then its ok, try the next day. I hope this helps too. Good luck!

[JudyLee]

You could also try giving him the soup in a mug - let him drink it? And pick the chunky bits out himself?

Hey, Charmaine, could you hand over the vegie slice recipe please?

[acostalobo]

Yes to that veggie slice recipe!