Not sure what topic this comes under, but I need help!

[keh]

My lo is 10 weeks today and I'm feeling so frustrated and can't work out what I'm doing wrong.
I'm attempting a 3 hour EASY, but nothing seems to be working quite right.

I do a 4S windown ritule.... I wind the music box, pull the blind, swaddle and then try and sit, but she fusses and wriggles and whinges (she isn't much of a cryer (thankfully) but does a lot of grizzling and fussing). I try to shh/patt but the minute I stop to take a breath for my next shhh she starts wriggling and grizzling. If I start to slow the patting down a fraction she wriggles/grumbles. I've tried sitting for 15-20 mins and seem to make no progress, so I lay her in the bassinette. She still continues to wriggle/grizzle and fuss. I roll her onto her side and shh/pat. She often stops grizzling and then just lays there looking around. (Clearly not in the ZONE at all). I stop patting, and try to leave the room as she is quiet ... she grizzles and fusses. I go back in and keep patting and she alternates between being quiet and looking around or fussing and wriggling... sometimes this goes on for 1.5 hours before we get to the ZONE, then she is a jerky baby that can jerk herself awake when Letting Go... so we go through this over and over and over again... I end up sitting next to the bassinette crying out of sheer frustration and patting her at the same time. Eventually when we get to Letting Go, I slow the pat and stop but then she often jerks awake and we have to start again.

I know I'm definitely catching her at The Window. I go into 4S when I see the first yawn, or occasionally before this if she shows tired signs (but then see the first yawn during swaddling, sitting or as I lay her into bassinette). So I feel confident that it's not too early in her A time.

She is a super efficient feeder (BF) and has been since birth. She is all finished in 10 minutes flat... sucks consistently for 5 minutes (flat out) and then fusses a bit and bobs on and off for the next 5 minutes. She mostly drains one side per feed (occasionally she stops before it's empty, but never falls asleep, just loses interest... no matter how many times I put her back on, she just pulls herself off, or clamps down on my nipple in frustration... OUCH!). I'm fairly confident she's getting enough to eat as she is stacking on the weight and Dr/Midwives are all happy with her progress (in 95 percentile for growth). Soooo... I don't think E is affecting her Sleep.

HELP! I just don't know what I'm missing with the settling for sleep. In past weeks she has completely skipped the Sleep in her 3 hour cycle... if she does this we never have any more Activity, I go straight from Eat into 4S for Sleep again as she is just so overtired. Apart from her becoming completely overtired and just exhausted, I spend hour after hour in her darkened room getting more and more frustrated and tired and upset because it's not working. Yesterday she only slept 1 hr and 40 mins the whole day (from 7am through to 7pm) and I didn't even spare the time to unpack the dishwasher!! It's just getting ridiculous and I don't know what to do... please can anyone offer any help or suggestions?

[sanaya]

hi keh!

have u tried just letting her be? sometimes the fussing and grizzling may just result in her going into the zone. more like self soothing. maybe you are interupting the process by patting her.
swaddle really tight and see how it goes.

hth
sanaya

[rayasunshine]

Another thing to keep in mind may be that she actually isn't tired when you are trying to put her down.  Her tired cues could also indicate that she is bored.  You could try to keep her up a few more minutes and see what happens.  My lo would rub her eyes and even yawn, put her down and she would be up in no time.  Your lo also is probably in an ot cycle, do you have a swing or even a sling to see if that helps her to catch up on sleep and then start fresh?  Just some ideas...

[keh]

I tried leaving her this afternoon. I was so upset myself I figured my crying etc was only disturbing her more, so I left her for about 45mins, after about 15 mins of grizzling she fell quiet... after 45mins when I felt I'd got myself together (and assumed she was now asleep) I snuck back in to find her on her back, swaddle undone, and just staring around the room grabbing for her toes....  I've tried the leaving her before today as well, but it doesn't seem to work. Perhaps I should not pat, but just sit with her? I fear the patting has become a prop for her.

I have found that the longer I leave her up the worse she is to put down. And she seems to be getting worse. 2 weeks ago she would go down really well in the mornings, but crap in the afternoons. Now she is just hard to put down at any time.

The really frustrating thing is during the night she is the Angel baby. ONCE I get her to sleep (for the night) she is out like a light and I don't hear another peep. She wakes, I feed, I swaddle, kiss and say goodnight and lay her down... she doesn't make another noise and I go straight back to bed. She has done this since birth no matter what time in the night she wakes - even if it's as early as 5.30am. So I know she has the skils to put herself to sleep, it just seems to be a daytime thing.

She had her first immunisations shots last week (this seemed to coincide with her getting worse to settle... particularly in the mornings) could it still be affecting her a week later?

[sanaya]

keh can u post your easy for the day?
maybe her A time needs adjusting.

great going for the nights! well done. that means she does know how to soothe herself back to sleep.

so give us her E (what time u fed her)
                   A (that includes the time she wakes, feeds, diaper, play, wind down...)
                   S (sleep)
                 
 hugs
sanaya

[keh]

Let me start by saying that I feel as though I've turned a corner... I did a lot of reading of other posts on Friday afternoon and early Saturday morning and something in me just clicked and I realised that I was obsessing about the 'schedule' and was so focussed on how much sleep she should have/must have/was missing out on, I'd completely lost the plot and wasn't even enjoying her.  So having read some other 3 hour routines I now feel our routine is in the realms of normal and not completely weird.

I try to start at 7-7.30am, but she is very inconsistent, and it can be 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30 or 8.00am  , basically from whenever she starts I try to work to three hours. So 7, 10, 1, 4, 7pm for eating.  She normally shows good healthy tired signs an hour from her feed (so if I feed at 7, I nappy change, and then Activity, but by 8am she is on her 2nd or 3rd yawn and is knawing on her fist (her classic tired sign). So I go into 4S windown and then shh/pat if necessary.... and then that could take anything from 15mins through to an hour or 1.5 hours.  Activities are normally some time in the bouncer showing her a squeeky toy, reading a book, or singing a song, tummy time or time on her back on the activity mat (with mobile above). I never do anymore than 1-2 of these in a cycle. Then after the 4pm feed we bath, massage, cuddle and winddown for bed. I regularly bump the 7pm feed back to 6.30 to help knock her out for the night.

Throughout the day she consistently wakes early for the next feed (never sleeps right up to feed time). So if I fed at 7am, put her down at 8am, she would often wake at 9am and I couldn't get her back to sleep... so then she'd go straight into A again, which was wrong because A should come after E... I got quite worked up about this as it happened every cycle. But after reading other posts, I realise that most bubs do this, so now I'm not so worried.

I've tried the DF a few times but I could never get her to take it, except once, but she only got a few minutes in and then closed her mouth and turned her head away and I couldn't get her back on... so I just do that last feed around 7pm. She then wakes anywhere between 11 and 3 for a feed, goes straight back to sleep and then wakes somewhere between 5 and 8am and we start again.

HOWEVER... since I've 'turned my corner' on Saturday things have been a bit smoother and far more relaxed... we had a great weekend and last night she went to bed at 7.30pm and didn't wake till 3am    went straight back to sleep and woke just before 7am. Put herself to sleep at 8am (I literally kissed her and said time for sleep and she closed her eyes and I walked out). She slept till 10.15am  at which time I woke her to feed (that's a whopping 2 and a 1/4 hours of sleep!!!). I put her back to bed at 11.30 and after 5 minutes of quiet sitting, lay her down said 'time to sleep' and she put herself to sleep AGAIN! She woke at 12.45 and I fed at 1pm. I've just put her down again at 1.40pm and she has again put herself to sleep... this is just to good to be true I really hope (now that I'm trying to be relaxed about it and watch her signs rather than the clock) that this could be the start of a new and improved routine....

I've also tried to keep her up just a tad longer than I normally do, and I've also stopped patting her so much, which I think I was overdoing a bit before and I think it was becoming a prop for her. I only shh/pat now if I REALLY need to. All of this combined seems to be working (fingers crossed!)

Sorry for the long post! If you see any glaring holes in my EASY please comment, I need all the help I can get. 

[sanaya]

great news! am so glad that you are enjoying her!
keep us posted

sanaya

[mumtoerin]

Something went screwy with my account, so now I've a new username.

Any thoughts on how I can get my lo to wake consistently at the same time? She doesn't seem to want to take a DF, so I am wondering what else I can do?