Major issues- medical advice is not getting results and baby will not eat

[*~goldie~*]

Peek a boo- yes it is very diluted juice which she drinks - should have mentioned she does take water but if I can get a few calories into her by giving diluted fruit juice then thats an opportunity i'll take iykwim.
I have gone cold turkey on all drinks before other than milk but she just goes on strike from drinking altogether if all thats on offer is milk. Everyday I start by pretending only milk exists but she's very stubborn hee hee,
thanks though
x

[binxyboo]

The not drinking milk would really concern me, I have to say. I would not be happy with that at all. I know one member on here whose baby drank only minute quantities of milk, you may want to message her for some advice/perspectives on this...Emma Lou is her name.

I am lucky in that our paed was very supportive and referred Kate to every specialist she felt would help. I felt happy that we had a great team of doctors in her corner. I don't really understand why your health care professionals are not worried that she doesn't drink milk. I think I would cut out the juices too, and then if she is still refusing the milk for a few days, bring her straight back in and tell them flat out how unhappy you are with the situation.

The more I read about your situation, the more I appreciate it is different from ours, so I hope you don't mind me asking some more questions. I am not really clear on how you structure your mealtimes. When you say it takes an hour to get 3 bites in, what exactly is going on for that hour? Is it possible for you to get an appt with a feeding therapist (not sure how your system works over there).

[binxyboo]

Also, fwiw, my older son Riley had a tiny appetite too, even though he was a big baby (over 30lbs at a year). I think the only reason he was that big was down to genetics, as my dh is 6ft4! He had no medical issues, and lived on air most days!

So, hugs and hang in there xx

[*~goldie~*]

Hey binxy,
never heard of a feeding therapis no - its kinda up to docs to give referrals.
1 hour meal time - i spoon food in then she pushes it out of her mouth. she refuses to open her mouth, she opens her mouth puts her finger in and gets the food out etc
I think what I need to do is go back but this time with my husband as I just dont think they take me seriously,
I am next resheduled for 3 weeks time but I think things need doing sooner. The milk never bothered me as it never bothered the people we've seen but maybe it should....thanks for your help btw. Im tall and so thats where she gets her height...
xx

[lilac83]

Have you ever tried mixing juice with her milk? Sounds kind of gross, but maybe she'd drink that?

[*~goldie~*]

yeah done that, tried flavouring with banana and other mushed fruit too thanks lilac. Love your pic btw.

The main issue I feel is the food as after such a long time of no milk I feel Ive given up on that. By the way should I add she has no teeth - YET!!! no signs of a tooth or anything. Makes me worry about calcium deficienceis, but also if anyone may suggest foods to try to bear this in mind.

thanks for all your support guys

xxx

[Shiv52]

Hi there

I think had you seen different health professionals they would not have encouraged you to give up on milk.  And I think now that she has given up on solids I think other professionals would push the milk issue as opposed to the food.  In the UK there are not the same level of support for eating issues at all as in the US.  The system is pretty dire actually.  I would go back to the doctor with your husband and bring your food diary along to show just how little you DD is eating and drinking in a day.  I have never heard though of them not encouraging you to keep up milk over solids.  I don't think thaey ahve taken you seriously enough 

I also think you probably need to reintroduce milk over solids.  I know you have all but given up on it but a baby will be thirsty long before they are actually really hungry for food and I imagine you will have more success in the long term and then take time to introduce solids gradually again. Am sure that is not what you want to hear! 

As someone else here said I would throw out the juices (so you're not tempted to give her them) and only have only milk as a drink for a few days.  This will accomplish two things...your LO will drink it and you will realise she is not going to starve.   YOu could give a few ounces of water at lunch time so you know she's drank something but only that.  Your LO prob won't be at all happy but once she realises you aren't giving in this time, she'll get over it quickly. 

You could either stop solids for a few days or set yourself a time limit (15 minutes is prob more than enough but do half an hour if that makes you happier) and see how you go.  Don't worry if she doesn't eat anything in that time.  The other thing I would suggest is to put your baby in her high chair while you have your meals and just stick food on her tray and let her play away and don't put any pressure on to eat.  I think once she realises its no big deal she may be more encouraged to eat.  I think she's had a lot of practice at refusing food and it will take time to undo it- which is another reason pushing the milk would be more successful. 

Remember at this stage, babies get many many more nutrients and vitamins from a few ounces of milk that a whole meal of solid food! 

What do you think?  Or do you not think you could follow through the milk plan?

[Peek-a-boo]

I think focusing on milk and only offering solids on her tray while you are eating--something she could pick up and eat on her own if she wanted--is a great idea.

My DD much prefers feeding herself.  We do best with stick shaped things that she can pick up in her fist and gnaw on the exposed end.  Bananas are her favorite.  I peel it, break it half, then push my thumb down the center.  This divides it into three natural segments that are easy for her to pick up and suck on/eat.   Roasted carrot sticks and sweet potato sticks have also been successful.  Just lately I started offering her slices of peaches and she eats those like she does the banana.  If your LO has been used to fruit juice, some fruits like these might be successful.   Even if she doesn't eat them at first, giving her the control and relaxing the situation might be really helpful. 

[TDR'smom]

{{HUGS}} I would also cut out juice for the time being.  Even watered down, it will fill her up and make her feel full!! 

Try to relax when you are offering her meals/milk.  Easier said than done, I know!  But she could easily be picking up on your anxiety and feeding off of it!

[Mimi 2]

Hugs goldie.  You have been given some great advices.   I agree with reintroducing the formula back into her diet as it much more nutritious than a few ounces of solids.  I understand your frustrations as dd was also food adverse (although she ate quite well in the first few weeks at 5 mos.)  I pushed her ped to referred her to a feeding clinic and it was discovered that she was just not interested in solids.  Although we were encouraged to push solids on her, I decided that milk was more important and went the BLW route with dd.  It was a slow slow process as she didn't eat a decent "meal" until 12 mos but she took her milk.  Since then she has been a great eater.

Hugs again.

[*~goldie~*]

Hey guys
Thanks for your support, I talked to my husband last night and he is going to come to the doctors with me, hoping he will talk some sense into them, also will see a different doctor , one who we've had luck with in the past.
I do agree milk is important but I know a lot of people who've had their babies go off milk esoecially by this age so I suppose thats why it's not bothered me or the medics Ive seen.
I stood my ground last night with dinner, in that althought I think she'd barely touched it after 90 minutes I just gave up and said fine thats bed time. I was ctually thinking I could make a little video of her eating for those of you who dont understand how she refuses food hee hee but Im sure the file size would be too big to upload here.
As of today after all of your conformations that I should follow the 30 minute rule I am going to stick to this. Im not sure if it will make her eat but anything is worth a shot right?
To those of you who have suggested finger foods - a few queries here- she has no teeth so is she really going to be able to eat enough nutrition without being able to chew with teeth? Also does the thirty minute rule apply if shes finger feeding? Can I mix finger fed meals with spoon led meals - eg do lunch and breakfast finger fed and tea as a spoon meal perhaps? Just finger feeding, I feel limits exploring new tastes. She used to finger feed - carrots, biscuits,bread,cheese,crackers, tofu,peaches, banana but are there any suggestions of other ideas apart from the obvious for a baby with no teeth?
Mimi - what is "BLW" ? How did you overcome your solid aversion?
Shiv - yes Im more than happy to follow through with the milk plan but I think the idea Ive had is to offer milk all day and then come bed time if she hasnt taken any liquid, at this point I will give her juice just so I dont have an idea in my head of her being uncomfortable through the night from needing a drink. how's that sound?
There's lots of advice asbout trying to relax and I completely get this but I wonder if I am too relaxed in front of her. I dont play "here comes the aeroplane" or anything like that and during the day when hubbys at work we just sit together at meal times both with food, TV on and just have a little chat... I wonder if I dont make it clear enough that its actually time to eat? I am very set and alwayss have been upon making food "not a big deal" as I have suffered on and off with anorexia. Anorexia is not something you ever get over , although your weight might be fine and so food will always be to me, something more than it is to other people, but I realize this and perhaps overcompensate. From suffering from tis disorder I have had it drummed into my head about nutrition and so that is also why this situation worries me I suppose.
Shiv- Shiv you seem really clued up -you mention doing jobs like this in the past- so Im not sure if you're medically trained of not but Id love you to give me a more detailed feeding plan for her if thats no bother?

Hugs back to you all and thanks again,
-Lucy
xxx

[MLK]

Sorry you are going through this. Your days must be incredibly stressful! I know how emotionally attached we mothers are to feeding our babies!


I have you don't mind me being frank, but she is drinking waaay too much juice. Juice has some vitamin C (which is often a supplement anyway if the juice is pasteurized), loads of sugar and very little else. No wonder she is not eating anything.

I honestly would restrict mealtimes because things sounds like they are getting too tense in your house. Give her 3 meals a day, no snacks, NO JUICE, only water in between meals. Put away the spoon, give her finger foods, let her be in control! I have to say though, what she was eating before sounds HUGE (a whole baked potato and half a can of beans!), once she starts feeding herself she probably won't eat anywhere near that much.

Start at breakfast.

Give her a sippy of milk, and some finger foods. Give her something you know she should like (eg fruit, bread, cheese). Busy yourself with your meal so you are not watching her like a hawk in the highchair. Show her how much you enjoy eating! If she eats something you can smile but don't go overboard with the praise. Most likely though she will protest because things have changed. Get her out of the highchair after 30 minutes or before that if she complaining or throwing food around. Put on your best poker face! Don't let her see you're upset even if she's eaten and drunk nothing. Remember, the next mealtime is only a few hours away.


Repeat at the next meal, and next meal after that. Keep your cool! As long as she has had enough fluids (water or hopefully milk) she will be fine. Monitor her nappies - if they seem dry offer more water or milk between meals. Give her plenty of positive attention between meals, play with her, distract her, change the scene etc.

Between meals you can offer water in sippy but nothing else.

Next day do the same. Even she doesn't eat anything that day she will still be fine as long as she's had some fluids and you pretend you don't care how much she has eaten. By then though she will probably be so hungry she should still eat something.  Don't get desperate and try to shove something into her mouth, keep it lighthearted.

If she still hasn't eaten ANYTHING (not even a few bites) by the end of the third day then there might be a more serious problem - contact your doctor or health visitor.

[Tobysmum]

I am no expert but I would say what LAN suggested is great advice to take.  I would agree that stopping all juice and offering water/milk instead is the first thing to do.   Even though you are naturally keen to get some calories into her, even if it's juice, it's most likely not helping the situation at all.  She is most likely not hungry because she's getting so many calories from the juice (and empty calories at that). All that juice is probably not going to be good for her teeth either, even if it is diluted it's still full of sugar.
Whilst I am not saying that any of this is your fault, it's probably not out of the realms of possibility that your anorexia has something to do with it (I've suffered from an eating disorder myself). 
As far as her not having any teeth, that isn't a problem since the gums are great for mashing things and are pretty hard ( you try sticking your finger in her mouth and let her bite down on it!)  Just give her anything you can mash between your finger and thumb easily.

I would really just try LANs plan for the next 3 days or so and then reassess the situation  It will most likely be a case of her getting some kind of appetite once the juice is stopped, learning that you aren't going to give in and she doesn't have a choice and basically unlearning a behavoir.

I hope I haven't been harsh. I totally feel for you and can understand you are frustrated and concerned - any normal parent would be!  I am sure it will all work itself out.  It's probably not going to be easy as she probably won't like the new regime - but as previous posts have said, if all is well she won't starve herself.
HUGS
Good luck and please keep us posted. 

[Mimi 2]

BLW is Baby-Led Weaning.  Here's some more info on it.  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=92560.0.  A lot of parents found success with this method of introducing solids http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=136091.0

Don't worry about her not having any teeth.  DS was BLW and he didn't cut a teeth till 9.5 mos.  He ate regular food like the rest of the family on just 4 teeth for months until he grew more teeth.

[MLK]

I actually couldn't read the second page when i posted - so forgive me if I appeared rude and tactless - I didn't realise about your eating disorder.