Awwww sweetie.
for the screaming and
for bringing in a wonderful new bright light into this world. Congratulations!!
The crying is a killer. My DS cried for 7 weeks, and not in a soft bleating way either. I think it is common for new babies to have screaming time in the evening, but I don't know or understand the cause. So I'm not much help there. But, some ideas to rule things out.
Wind: If you think it could be wind or gas, then the more crying the more intense it may feel for your LO. There are a number of different winding positions that you could try - sometimes it's hard to get it out using any though. I used to lay my boy across my lap so that his chest belly was in the gap between my legs and would gently rub his back in circular motions then stroke his back with a little pressure upwards (to move the gas up). But it was a hit and miss. Another fave was to sit him on my knee and gently twist his upper body as if he were looking over his shoulder.
Despite our winding attempts, I did eventually try some other things: a cranial osteopath, who released the tension in his diaphragm over 2 visits AND started giving him Infacol before each feed. Infacol somehow magically takes all the little gas bubbles and sticks them together so that they become bigger bubbles and therefore easier to free. After using infacol we got some big old burps regularly. Not sure if it was our DS passing the 6 week settling mark, or the osteopath or the infacol...but the crying subsided a lot. Another thing I did was to make sure that my LO finished one breast before moving on to the next (at the next feed). This was simply because I'd heard that the crying could've been too more foremilk and not enough hindmilk, leaving him more gassy and hungry. I try to think of fore and hind as drink and food, IFYKWIM.
Hunger: The other thing that comes to mind is that perhaps (if this has just happened for a day or so) could be signs that he's not satisfied with his feeds so far that day - usually milk dips off towards the end of the day - so could potentially be hunger. So to rule that out you could try seeing how gusto he is with feeds. Also coming up to the 6 week growth spurt...
Overtired / over stimulated: Another possibility is OT / OS from the activities during the day...how is sleep going? getting plenty, easy to settle during the day? Activities, toys, mobiles, bedtime routine could all affect this. Are you on EASY, how are your days looking overall and what is bedtime / evening like? Wht happens?
Philosophies & Camps: Yeh, you're right there are lots of approaches out there but as you've come to Baby Whisperer I'm guessing that CIO isn't for you. There's lots of information on here (can get it for you if you want) on why CIO is not a good choice. At this young age I can't highlight enough how hard choosing that approach would be for you and your LO. There are less upsetting and less severe alternatives we can help you with. I found that the people who advised me to leave my newborn to CIO, were people who had never done it to their own children. Babes cry because it's the only way they can tell you something is wrong. And they need you to listen, however painful and hard it is to bear; you'd struggle with ignoring their pleas and cries for your help. At 5 weeks old... well, he's crying / screaming for your help. Walking away as CIO is a harsh message for him or anyone.
Gather yourself: Yes absolutely, if you feel like you just cannot take the screaming for another minute, second; that you are losing it; that you are crumbling... then put him down, put on some background music (I'd swaddle) and leave the room for a few minutes. To regain your control and to find the calmness that you need to pretend that you have. And that is not easy to do. I still struggle with it now...often find myself hugging my LO tightly while he screams at me desparately trying to hang onto a shred of patience.
So walk out, take a minute or 5, clear your mind and then go back. Be calm, be Mama, be who you were when he was on the inside and wasn't balling at you. It's hard. But it will get so much better. Especially after week 6 / 7. Honest.
And once the screaming unsettled stage passes, like me, you'll be so relieved you didn't go for CIO.
Last question for you: how are you settling him down and is there anything that is different at night (other than the obvious)? Just wondering if it's an environment thing, or whether swaddling and shh patt might help...
Let us know; tell us about your boy. There are loads of Mamas here ready to help you anyway that they can. You're doing great. He's only had 5 weeks and it's all so new to him. And you have only had 5 weeks to find your feet at being a Mama... I was still so so lost at 5 weeks.
Let us help?
Charlotte
