Author Topic: So discouraged... please help 45 naps  (Read 3773 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline sgudza

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 40
  • Location:
So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« on: February 25, 2009, 13:36:35 pm »
This is my first post on the website, but I read the Baby Whisperer before my son Samuel was born.  He's been on EASY pretty much since we came home from the hospital (He's 5 1/2 weeks). Up until last week, he was sleeping great, falling asleep by himself, and napping for an hour and half to two hours three times a day.  I give him the passy to fall asleep but before he always spit it out and went back to sleep. Sometimes I'll hear that he'll realize that he spit out the passy and whine for a minute, but he always put himself back to sleep. I never really needed the shh-pat method because he would fall asleep by himself.  But as of the last week he wakes up from almost every nap after 45 minutes.  I've been really careful not to overstimulate him during his awake time, but I've found that nothing will calm him down when he wakes up after 45 min.  I've tried to shh-pat him back to sleep but that doesn't seem to be working. He's always fussed when he's tired or even when we do our night-time routine, so now it feels like he's screaming most of the time.  I suspect that he's a touchy baby. He cries when he eats, and I think he's pretty gassy. I also wonder if I'm feeding him too much, and causing more gas problems. I feel so discouraged and tired all around.  :'( I'll post my our EASY schedule, and I'd love any feedback or advice. Thanks.
Stephanie

This is our EASY schedule when it works:)
8 Wake and Eat
8:20 A
9 Start wind down and sleep
11 E
11:20 A
12 Start wind down and sleep
2 E
2:20 A
3 Start wind down and sleep
4:30 E
5:30- 45 cat nap
6:30 E
7:15 start bedtime rountine
8:00 eat and sleep
10:30 DF

1:30-2:30 wake and eat

5-6 wake and eat
Lilypie 1st Birthday Pic" width="100" height="80" border="0<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/zexRm5.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline anna*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 900
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 28751
  • My two
  • Location: London, UK
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2009, 14:13:19 pm »
(((hugs))) waking after 45 mins is really common. Don't worry about it, he will get there. OK? It's a skill they learn, and you'll go through easier patches and tough patches. I remember the shock when my sleepy newborn suddenly 'woke up' and all of a sudden, naps were hard work!!

First of all, is he swaddled? A nice, tight swaddle can really help them get through the transition between sleep cycles.

If shush-pat seems to make him more fussy, try and see if you can find a variation which helps instead. If he doesn't like the 'shush', does he like it if you hum? Or if you sing softly? Or talk to him quietly? If he doesn't like the pat on his back, does he like a patt on his butt? Or a firm hug? Or a stroke on his head?

Is he breast or bottle fed? If he's gassy, talk to your pharmacist because there are drops you can give to help them deal with the gas. Crying when he eats can also suggest he might have reflux, does he spit up a lot? There's a checklist here, so you can see if it sounds like it might be a problem for you: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

Your routine looks good, based on long (1.5-2hr naps). But remember, if he takes a 45 mins nap he won't be able to handle a 1hr A time before his next nap, you will need to cut it right back to probably 45 mins total.

Here are a couple more links that might help: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85500.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64168.0

(((hugs))) again

anna
x





Offline rngmom

  • New, But Posting Steadily!
  • **
  • Showing Appreciation 1
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 51
  • Location: Farmington, NM USA
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2009, 14:26:09 pm »
Stephanie - I just read the resources that Anna gave you and they are good, I hope you can find some help in there! My LO is 9 weeks and started doing this same thing at 7 weeks, and it has all been downhill from there. I posted some questions yesterday, too, so hopefull we can be figure out what is going on! I don't know about you, but it makes the day so whacky and I just have no idea what to expect. It's hard on both me and the lo!
<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/fK53m7.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline sgudza

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 40
  • Location:
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2009, 15:38:19 pm »
I read the checklist and I think he may have reflux. He's showing a lot of the signs on the checklist.  He's breast-fed. I always try swaddling him but he always comes out of it.  I also tried the Aussie swaddle, but I could never get it tight enough for him and he came out of that too.  Any tips on swaddling? or the reflux? 
Lilypie 1st Birthday Pic" width="100" height="80" border="0<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/zexRm5.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline anna*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 900
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 28751
  • My two
  • Location: London, UK
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2009, 15:59:40 pm »
I used to swaddle like this, until he grew out of the blanket: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8FheWM83rY&NR=1
Alternatively you could try the Miracle Blanket. He needs to be a really solid little 'log' of baby, not able to move his arms at all. I'll ask if someone from the reflux board can pop over and take a peek at your thread, but I think in general it's not recommended to start encouraging any independent sleep until the reflux is under control.





Offline rngmom

  • New, But Posting Steadily!
  • **
  • Showing Appreciation 1
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 51
  • Location: Farmington, NM USA
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2009, 17:40:45 pm »
As for swaddling, I use the Swaddle Me and it has worked GREAT!
<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/fK53m7.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline Canwi

  • Retired GM and Mod still paying it forward
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 253
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 11368
  • Me, in a picture
  • Location: Halfway 'round the world from where I am at heart
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2009, 18:21:23 pm »
If you think your LO has reflux then follow the non-medicine treatment ideas on the reflux 101 post that anna* gave you.
If they make some difference, but don't "fix" the crying with feeding thing, then go ask your doc for some medication to help with the stomach acid that is causing your LO pain.
Might also be worth looking at these posts/threads to see if there is something else that might be the problem
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=117061.0 (half-way down pg 2 is a good checklist)
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=107244.0

If your LO has true reflux, then as anna* says that issue needs to be dealt with before you even think of tackling independent sleep.  You may need to do some accidental parenting on purpose (APOP) so that you can all get any sleep.  Choose an APOP method that you think you can wean the LO from later and use it.  Keep a good routine with your APOP method that will allow you to wean that later ie something that can be phased out easier than another.
Another thought is that sh/pat can irritate reflux babies.
HTH. Sorry can't write more, LO's crying.
 
8) I BFd a combined total of 4y, 1m & 1d

Offline Archies mummy

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 40
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1194
  • My first, my last, my everything.
  • Location: Lincolnshire
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2009, 18:34:54 pm »
I use the swaddle me too it's great. No escaping! As for the 45 min naps vvvveeeerrrrrryyyyyyy common!
Sarah



Offline sgudza

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 40
  • Location:
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2009, 21:31:53 pm »
Thanks so much for the advice.  I tried the swaddle me and it's great!! Last night he slept from 8-4:45! It was wonderful! Today was a little bit better. He still woke up after 45 minutes, but for the first nap I shh-patted him back to sleep for another 45 min. But the second he wouldn't go back to sleep and for the third, we were out and he was in his stroller so he never woke up.  I'm hoping that this good day won't mean that he won't sleep as long tonight. Thanks!
Lilypie 1st Birthday Pic" width="100" height="80" border="0<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/zexRm5.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline anna*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 900
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 28751
  • My two
  • Location: London, UK
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2009, 21:36:52 pm »
That's great news! Normally they sleep well at night if they have slept well in the daytime too. Let us know how it goes!  :-*





Offline sgudza

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 40
  • Location:
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2009, 13:39:22 pm »
Things have been a lot better.  When I catch his 45 min window, I can shh-pat him, and he never wakes up all the way. I still can't tell if he has reflux or if I have overactive let down. But he's always gone to sleep by himself, and he still is now.  Hopefully that will continue.  He always starts fussing after only 45-60 minutes of awake time, and I put him down and he sleeps anywhere from an hour and a half to two hours.  Is that too much time for a six week old?  Is it cutting into his sleep at night? He normally wakes up twice from 8:00-7:30.  Will he eventually stop waking at the 45 minute mark?  Or eventually put himself back to sleep? I noticed that he can go to sleep easily by himself but once he wakes up he doesn't put himself back to sleep. Is this because he is swaddled and doesn't have access to his fingers?
Thanks so much for all your help!
Stephanie
Lilypie 1st Birthday Pic" width="100" height="80" border="0<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/zexRm5.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline Archies mummy

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 40
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1194
  • My first, my last, my everything.
  • Location: Lincolnshire
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2009, 17:32:34 pm »
I think  45-60 mins awake time and 1.5-2 hrs sleep is great for a 6 week old! Well done. You may want to wake up if lo sleeps for more than 2 hrs but I would base this on the rest of the day, say if the first nap is short then maybe lo should be left to sleep a bit more next nap iykwim? As for getting through the 45 min mark, he may well learn to do it himself eventually.
Sarah



Offline anna*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 900
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 28751
  • My two
  • Location: London, UK
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2009, 21:23:40 pm »
I agree with Sarah, it sounds like you guys are doing just great!!

As he gets older you can gradually try to 'help' less and less at the 45 mins mark, so maybe just rest your hand on his chest.





Offline sgudza

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 40
  • Location:
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2009, 12:27:07 pm »
Just wondering.... do you think that he's waking up because he's OT or UT?  Today was a little bit harder.  He woke after 45 min.. and shh pat didn't work, it got him more worked up. Then for the next nap, after an hour he went down really easily, but still woke after 45 min.  And I tried shh-pat, but I think I went in a little early, b/c I woke him up more.  Could he have been mantra crying?  Do they do that at this age?  It did sound different, more whiny not a full blow cry.  Then after I tried shh pat he woke up to a full cry, so I put him in his car seat, and put him near an open window and he went right to sleep.  He always seems to sleep better in his car seat.  But I know that's not the best thing for his back, but when he's gassy it seems to be a better position for him.  Any thoughts?
Lilypie 1st Birthday Pic" width="100" height="80" border="0<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/zexRm5.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline anna*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 900
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 28751
  • My two
  • Location: London, UK
Re: So discouraged... please help 45 naps
« Reply #14 on: March 02, 2009, 13:31:41 pm »
It does take time for them to learn how to get through the transition between sleep cycles, I think a lot of it is just developmental, and practise. But, of course getting the A time right helps a lot too - at 6 weeks he can probably manage around 1hr to 1hr15, that's total awake time including feed and winding down to sleep.

It does sound like he was mantra crying when you went in. I would always try to hang back until you hear a real cry - many of them use the mantra cry to settle themselves and you don't want him to lose this ability by always rushing in to help!!

((hugs))