Having sleep issues around the age of 2? Want to chat?

[jess, lukeys_mom]

HI!!!! How great to see some many faces from our little club here. Sadly I only get on FB very rarely so have a hard time checking our group. It's so nice to see you all here - even under tired circumstances 
Alison and Tracey - not to leave you out - the rest of us were in a birth club together for our first babes 

Anyway, I'm going to rant quickly as I need to post on another thread before bed tonight to work on another issue!  But the problem here is with night sleep, not naps.  After a very rough first year, Luke slept like an absolute dream from one year old to two. Then, since the very beginning of Jan, we've been going thru nightly nw's. We had just returned from a trip to the US so there was jet lag, plus he moved into the toddler group at creche, so I felt like both of those were making it harder for him to settle. But two months down the road, we are still there, with only about a week or so of STTN in between (when we thought it was over ).

The nws are like nightmares. He is standing and crying in his bed (still in a crib) and blubbering, calling for us. One of us goes in, and he usually pretty much settles himself once we touch him. Occasionally he needs a little more comforting than that, and every once in a while he really cannot settle without us in his room.

At this point we are really getting used to it, as weird as it is to say. We just naturally take turns on who goes in that night, and do our best to let the other stay asleep. But the more pregnant I get and the less comfortable everything is, the worse it is getting back to sleep. I feel like I'm always tired.

So that is my rant. I have posted here about it, hauled out the old baby sleep books, pretty much tried all I can think of at least, but we are now kind of at the point of riding it out. But it doesn't mean I am not totally exhausted!!!!!

Oh...this age.....

Ladies I have to admit I didn't read back too much as I'm pressed for gettingto bed on time   Will be back though. Sleep well all of you, big hugs 

[tracynben]

i guess they just all seem to go through a bad stage at this age, and having a new baby doesnt help. I forgot to mention that hes got at least one of his molars coming through, but it doesnt bother him throughout the day so i doubt theres a problem.
we have one good day in the pst few days but rest not so good.
yesterday out all day and didnt have a nap, then he refused to stay in bed and sreamed his head off, i let him out of his room for a bit just to calm down and put him down half hour later and he stayed in bed and slept abuott 12 hours.
BUt he woke at 1am screamin again, and it took about 45 mins to settle him, he wouldnt settle with me so dp had to do it and he went back to sleep.
I dont really know what else to try with him apart from ignore him, i know theres nothing wrong with him so thats why i ignore him, the more attention we give him the worse he is, as soon as he knows its nap/bedtime he plays up so i know hes not gonna sleep before we even get in the room.
Im beginning just to accpet this is the way it mite be for a while, until things get better with jayden and routine falls better into place, and then i can fully concentrate on ben, my mum reckons i need to sort ben out now, but what am i suppose to do if jaydens screamin ignore him, arghhhhhhhhhhhh. I keep sayin it will get better, stay positive.

Hope everyone else is ok, and things are gettin better for them, will try and post to other peeps soon, just so difficult to get a moments worth of peace.

tracy xxxx

[*Carrie*]

Amanda - wow on that huge chunk of sleep! I'm kind of with you and Bryony in that I feel as long as they are STTN ok then I don't really mind the short nap/no nap.... oh, I'll just add on as long as they are also not too cranky on waking and not obnoxious by teatime!!!!!
Jess - glad Luke is able to resettle most nights with the minimum of help and I know what you mean about just getting used to it. We were like that here although our spell only lasted 5 weeks - I couldn't believe that when I counted back, I honestly thought it was more like 7 or 8 weeks!
Tracy - you're having to deal with something a few of us will experience soon enough - what do you do when they BOTH need you - you can't split yourself in half so someone has to wait for help or learn how to do it themselves! Hugs to you honey as your head must be spinning and although it's well intended I bet you could do without others putting their oar in!

So the short naps but STTN continues here - fingers crossed it stays settled on this now... Hugs to everyone xx

[*Carrie*]

Just checking in - how's everyone doing??

We seem to have got through the worst of it. Naps are now an hour or more and he wakes a lot happier for the majority of the time. Have to say it hasn't come about by moving the nap earlier tho despite the advice I was given. It actually got a bit better when I moved it a bit later. So he sleeps more like 2pm - 3pm and bedtime is 8pm then he STTN until 7am or later. So he's getting around 12 hours sleep in a 24 hour period and he seems perfectly happy...

Hope everyone else has good news xx

[Bryony]

Carrie, so glad things are going better for you!  That sounds great.

Here we have been having the biggest nightmare ever unfortunately.  A combination of:

1. having way too much daytime sleep (2-3hrs) and not enough night time (9 hrs)

2. major SA that came out of nowhere - needing someone in the room with her to go to sleep after more than 2 years of going to sleep on her own!

3. taking AGES to fall asleep for naps and bedtime - which with (2) above means that I feel as though I am spending my whole time in the room with her - and using every excuse under the sun why she can't get to sleep (teeth hurt, bottom hurts, sleeping bag all tangled, ear hurts, done a poo-poo, done a wee-wee, can't find teddy, need music on, need music off - you get the idea)

4. 1-3 NW each night - mainly checking that I am still there and a repeat of (3) above.

aghhhhh

So after two weeks of hell, things are slowly getting better:

1. I've been waking her after 1 hr nap to try and shift some time to night time sleep. Initially this resulted in OT to add to all the other problems, as she was still only sleeping 9 hrs at night, but last night I think we might have turned the corner when she slept for 11hrs at night - woo whoo!

2. We have started GW for the SA - I am sleeping on a mattress in her room and have been moving it nearer the door. Tomorrow I want to move it out of the door which is going to be the real test. It's gone OK so far but I suspect tomorrow will be difficult

3. The time taken to fall asleep is still a pain but I have given her some clear rules - the music only goes on ONCE, only ONE drink of water, and no other talking or faffing once she's in bed. If she can't sleep she should talk to Teddy and Baa and not to mummy.  She is slowly getting the message....

4. The NW are getting shorter but they are still there - checking that I am there and if I am not she gets really upset.

sigh!

I hope things are going better for everyone else!

B

[tracynben]

thats good some of u havin success, as for us its been 5 weeks now, and not really any improvement whatsoever apart from yesterday he crashed out on the couch at 5pm, i put him in his bed and he slept till about 7am and was soooo happy, i do hope things get better with him, i want my extra happy boy back that behaves most of the time, as for jayden things gettin a bit better, im findin it easier to settle him, but havin trouble after 45 mins, he wakes, i guess things cant always be perfect hehe

tracy xxxx

[*Carrie*]

Oh Bryony - I'm really feeling for you. It's a nightmare to have a child who has slept independently FOREVER to suddenly need so much help and I know how I'd feel if all of a sudden I was having to spend so long bedside! I'm not looking forward to that with the next one. The memories of "shush-pat" are still so vivid! So SA from nowhere?? Mind you, she has always been a Mummy's girl hasn't she? There did seem to be signs of that changing a bit and DH getting more of a look in but would I be right in thinking that sorting this sleep issue is all down to you? You must be so tired and fed up! Personally I've felt pushed to the end of my tether at times yet I know we've been very lucky with Rory's sleep. Huge hugs my lovely and major kudos for not moaning and complaining like I would!

Well done Tracy. Sounds like things are beginning to ease... great that Jayden is settling easier too, now just to extend those pesky 45 min naps.... it's neverending isn't it?

[fifibobandmore]

Got to read through the last 2 pagers but wanted to say I'm back again. We have had to move Edward into a BBB as he rocks his cot that hard it is lifting up of the floor and banging back down and he is trying to climb out fo the cot to so to prevent any injuries DH and me decided to move him to to a big bed and he is not sleeping well again. And he is also weaning of the night BF's too and yestredya nd this morning I had to say no when he asked for a a bf as I don't feel I have any milk to give as he hasn't bfed now for 8 or is it 9 days. Ooh this PG mind can't remember anything

[Bryony]

Carrie - thanks for the sympathy!  To be fair, DH is taking his turn a bit more this time - I ended up really ill with the lack of sleep etc and I think he realised he was goign to have to take a turn!  So we try and alternate who puts her to bed and he does some NW, but it's so hard to wake him up it's almost easier to deal with it myself. 

We had a bit of a breakthrough last night on the GW - I slept on a mattress OUTSIDE her room rather than inside. She insisted on keeping her door open, but apart from that she was fine with it. She still woke up three times to check I will still there though - calling out for me and as soon as I reply, she goes back to sleep. I really don't know how to break out of this one - I can rarely get back to sleep once I've been woken up so it's really killing me to be woken up around midnight every night and not to be able to get back to sleep.   Any ideas?

Sorry self-pitying rant now:  I am so totally fed up of this!  I am getting very lonely as I am totally losing touch with my IRL friends as I have to go to bed at 8pm in order to get at least *some* sleep before midnight, and so am never around in the evenings to go out or even take a phone call. I never get to eat an evening meal, hardly see DH  Starting to feel very isolated...

OK self-pity over, now have a toddler to feed breakfast to!

Alison - I hope Edward settles down in the BBB soon - I am sure it will just take a little time. Katie is starting to use her cot as a trampoline rather a lot so we might be heading that way soon...!

Bx

B

[fifibobandmore]

Bryony huge hugs to you and I know the feeling very well with getting ill due to sleep deprobation. Nearly ended up being hospitalized due to sleep deprobation that went on for over 4 years because I never got that recovery gap between DD and DS#2 coming along. And now I fear the same thing is going ot happen again. I was up last night until 1:30 this morning getting Edward to go back to sleep after waking at 11:30 and his dad was just snoring his head off and when I todl him this morning he was just "well I never heard him why did you wake me? You need your sleep more than me you need to start taking better care of yourself?" Sorry but haa how can I take better care of myself when he wont wake when I wake him all I get when I do manage to get a reply from him is "well sleep next to his bed that's all he is crying for." No it's not all he is crying for4 he is teething and finding it very hard with the switch of beds. I am hating taking the leap now to a big bed I wish he would settle as well as he was in the cot but I guess I am just going ot have to peersiveay with the unsettled nights as it all part of growing up

[Fiver]

Alison, hope things improve soon for you.

Bryony - sounds like the GW is going well.  Sorry it's been a hard time for you

[tracynben]

awww hope things get better for some of u soon, and i thought i had it bad with 12 weeks of hardly any sleep. unofrtunatley im having lots of problems with jaydens night sleep now, ben (toddler) is sleepin much better at night over the last 3 day now, first night he slept 5pm-7am, the night before 6.30pm-7.45am, and last night 5.45pm-6.45pm, hes not nappin in the day though, but at least hes sleepin for 12-13 hours whereas before it was only about 10. i think he still could do with a small nap, but i cant force him, so he just goes in his room for an hour quiet time, if he sleeps great, if he doesnt whats the point in worryin when i cant do anything about it, he only now naps at daycare.

tracy xxxx

[*Carrie*]

Bryony - you asked for tips on getting back to sleep. What do you normally do right before sleep anyway? I'm a reader and always have to read for 10-15 mins before trying to sleep (even if I'm extremely late to bed) so when I was waking to breastfeed Rory I would read for ten minutes after I put him back to bed.It helped me switch off again and at least if things had gone quiet in that time I could be pretty sure Rory had gone back to sleep. I mentioned before that my MIL had given me a special wee light for reading without having the light on. It's called a Z-light and clips onto the book. I never used it when it was just DH and I cos I figured he could put up with ten minutes of the light on when I'd been the one up for an hour bf-ing etc (you are way more considerate of your DH!!) but I did use it when sharing a room with Rory on holiday...
Another idea might be listening to some music on headphones, getting yourself a milky drink - I know that would mean being away from Katie's door for a while but it might be a step in the right direction for being able to move away altogether.
have you talked to the doctor about this?? Three hours sleep a night is NO WAY near enough and if you've had depression problems in the past then maybe you should be proactive in protecting yourself - maybe he could prescribe a mild sedative to take if you are woken past midnight. Not somthing to knock you out completely but just something gentle to help you on your way. And if you were worried about taking something like that maybe you could allow yourself the odd night or a couple of nights on, a couple of nights off...
Do you have family or friends nearby? Anyone supportive enough to invite you to sleep at theirs once a week and DH can take over?? I know DH is a heavy sleeper and doesn't wake easily but he could be sleeping on that mattress just outside the door or even move it in for the night he is on duty??

Anyway, I'm sure there weren't any lightbulb moments in there - you will have explored all those options no doubt. I'm really hoping you find your solution soon cos I have no idea how you are holding it together on so little sleep... and add to that your feelings of losing touch with your RL friends - huge hugs my lovely xx

[Bryony]

Aw thanks Carrie for all your suggestions!    I really appreciate you taking the time to think about me esp when you have so much going on too.

We did actually have a huge breakthrough  last night - she STTN!!  For the first time for weeks and weeks...   I can't tell you how much better I felt today - it was the first day for a while I didn't cry all day.  I have no idea if it was a fluke or me telling her that the sleep fairy would bring her some chocolate if she went all night without calling out for mummy.... but anyway I never thought I would be happy to see her eating chocolate at 7am but I was delighted, even though it got all over our duvet cover....

Re getting to sleep yes I'm a reader too - always have to read at least a few pages to get to sleep no matter how tired I am or how late it is!  I didn't feel I could read while I was sleeping in Katie's room (she's SUCH a light sleeper - now I know where she gets it from LOL) but maybe now that I am in the corridor outside I could get a little torch to read a few pages....  bizarrely I didn't have a problem while I was BF in the night as the hormones would knock me out again...

I did get a mild sleeping tablet from my GP but it didn't help me sleep any better and just made me too woozy to work very well the next day - was slightly "spaced out" and didn't feel safe cycling to work.  Might try it again one weekend though!

Hey ho

I hardly dare hope for another good night tonight - daren't think about it...!

Love to you all

[Fiver]

Bryony, how great!  I won't mention any words beginning with Q or anything like that!  Well done, Katie!  Some girls will do anything for chocolate