HELP! Questions the book doesn't answer. Do you know???

[dez2502]

I'm trying to implement EASY with my 6-week old. We have tried to feed on a loose schedule since day 1, and that's usually every 3-hours around 7:00, 10:00, 1:00, 4:00, etc. Though, with his growth spurts and sleeping needs, we get thrown off pretty often.

I've decided to try and start the EASY method so that I'm not at the mercy of the unknown every day. Though, after reading the book and attempting to implement...I've come across some challenges that the book DOES NOT answer for me. I'm feeling discouraged. I think my son is a cross between TEXTBOOK and SPIRITED.

1. Since my son is gaining weight successfully, I'm trying to feed him every 3 hours and hoping to do so around the same times every day so that I can have some structure. BUT, he'll wake up at night and want to eat every 1.5-2 hours. His cries are cough-like and follow all the hunger cues in the book so I don't think I am misreading it. I can't withhold the feeding or he'll freak out. And, he'll spit out the pacifier because he knows it will not give him milk. What do I do? This throws the whole night and next day off (and next day, etc. like a domino effect). Do I withhold anyway until the proper feed time and let him cry and cry? I tried cluster feeding at night. I'm sure he's getting enough milk during the feeding so shocked that he's so hungry. He's growing a lot too (gone from 6lbs 9oz to 9lbs 13 oz in just 5 weeks!).

2. What do you do when baby starts to root when it's nap time? He simply will not settle. He spits out the pacifier and will not calm down until I nurse him. Do you give in and feed and then start over with activity, or feed and try to put him to sleep? What if the rooting is only 30-45 minutes after the last feed/activity?

3. (Similar to question #2, but not rooting) What if he won't sleep or settle during the sleep phase and keeps crying? I addressed all his needs (diaper, feed, cold/hot, etc.)?

4.  Should the feed times be the same every day? Isn't that most helpful when trying to establish a routine? That way, for example, you know you're free for an appt between x and x time?

5.  IF you are supposed to try and keep it the same times every day, how do you handle intermittant feeds that are not on schedule? Do you feed them then, and then again at the right time? Or, does it throw off the remainder of the day?

6. Sleeping through the night: My son recently has wanted more feedings in the night that are closer together. It's not a growth spurt, we just had one of those. I'm worried that we'll never sleep through the night or lengthen the time between feeds since right now they are getting closer together. What am I doing wrong? How do I try and get back on track? I dreamfed and clusterfed...he just wants to eat more.

Thank you in advance for your time and help!

[Fiver]

Wow!  Welcome!  Lots of questions!  I couldn't read and run, but I can't answer all the questions either, so I'll just look a bit at #6 and encourage you that you WILL sleep through the night at some point!  It may not be tomorrow, but it WILL happen.  Keep going!

As for #3, could he be overtired?  That was usually my first idea when my DS cried rather than settling for naps.

Hope someone else can come along and give you some tips on the others

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Hi!

Welcome to BW and congrats on your LO! In answer to #4, no they aren't necessarily at the same time, EASY is about a routine not a schedule...so it's pattern of eating, activity, then sleep in order to separate the feeding and sleeping to teach independant sleep and so your lo knows whats going to happen next in his day. That said, our routine ends up being within 30 mins of the same time, depending on when she wakes up, but I never go strictly by the clock b/c her A times vary.....and I can hear her up in bed....gotta run, will pop back later!

Heidi

[* Paula *]

I am thinking that your lo could be over tired too.  At this age their A time is minimal and basically consists of just an E, a small diaper change, quick cuddle and then down for a nap.

With regards to EASY it is not a schedule as such, but more of a routine, which gives you flexibility.  EASY is more about predictability and getting your lo used to what is coming next.  I.e. he has just had a feed, so a small amount of A tim and then down for a nap.

Having a predictable EASY at such a young age is going to be difficult as your lo is still taking feeds during the night etc.  What I would aim to do is the following:-

Start your day the same time every day i.e. pick a wake up time and stick with it.

Be flexible with regards to feeds etc.  your lo may only be able to go 2 - 2.5 hours between feeds before requiring another one.

Keep A time to the minimal for now, to ensure that your lo does not get OT.

Have a good wind down routine, so that your lo knows what to expect when going down for a nap.

Do you swaddle at all?  If not, I would suggest a swaddle, it does help them sleep a lot better, and helps them feel secure when going down for a nap.

Can you post what your days have been looking like:-

E
A - how long
S - how long.

[AlsOne]

HI you say that you are about to start to impliment EASY, i wonder if you have already started. But what I found is that these questions that you have, will actually start to 'disappear' when you get on the routine. He will get used to what is coming next and will not root at sleep time, he will be fed and have a play and then sleep so he will get to know that.

With sleeping through, this will only happen when their tummies are full enough during the day to give them no reason to wake at night - to be fed that is. there will come a time when there are other reasons they wake which don't involve being fed. Does your routine involve a Dream Feed? These are wonderful things and I would highly recommend it.

Can you please post your routine so that we can assist you further.
Good luck, I know it can be daunting, I have been there! But be assured that with a routine that feelig of 'what is going to happen today' will be largely gone.
There will still be times when things don't go as planned - wake early from nap, activity time isn't as long, etc etc, but you will feel more in control of the situation. 

[riuliani]

I think you are getting wonderful advice here.  Something else I might recommend...There are actually two books to read.  The original "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and a second book called "The Babywhisperer Solves All Your Problems" both by Tracy Hogg.  I have found the second book to have more case studies to read.  If you only have one book you might want to pick up the other.  They compliment each other well and may answer some of your questions as well as coming here.  The three things work wonderfully together.