Tips needed for establishing a predictable routine

[Critter]

Hi Gals,
My little guy will be 3 months old tomorrow.  He is my second son and he is so different from my older one!!!  With Luke I could have set my watch by his schedule by this point.  He was formula fed and in daycare.

Clay is breastfed and I am now a SAHM.  I don't know why it's been so much harder to establish a predictable routine this time around, but I need help getting one implemented!  We've been doing EASY, and he's very good about eating after he wakes, not nursing to sleep, etc. but it just seems that everything is all over the place.  The only thing that has been consistent is his bedtime.  For about a month I've known that he's ready for bed for the night around 6 or 6:30 and he has pretty decent stretches of sleep at night.  Last night he was up at 11 and 4 to feed. He woke up at 6, but I gave him his paci and he slept until 7:45. 

Another problem I'm having is that he's not consistent in how long he goes b/t feedings.  Sometimes it's 2 hours and sometimes it's 3. 

HELP!!  I'd like some predictability in my day!!!!

[* Paula *]

Hey Amy,

I have missed seeing that Purple Hippo around 

What is your day currently looking like?  How are his naps?

E
A - how long
S - how long

When he goes 2 hours between feeds, is this when he has had a shorter nap?

Do you start your day off at the same time every day?

Try and keep a log on how your day goes with naps and feeds etc, so that we can try and see if there is a pattern.

Hugs hun 

[Critter]

Hey Paula!  I've missed him (and you!!), too.  I was happy to dust him off after Clay was born.  HA!

Here's what happened today (Keep in mind I'm trying to go to a 3 hour EASY because I don't think he still needs to eat every 2 hours. He's started playing more than eating!)

6:15 he woke up but I gave him his paci and he went back to sleep
7:30 - E
8:30 - Yawned and went right to sleep
10:00 - E
11:15 - started wind-down
11:30 - asleep
12:00 - He woke up, gave him his paci and left him in his crib.  He talked and never went back to sleep
1:00 - E
2:00 - Asleep
2:25 - Awake and ready to PLAY.  Tried to pat/sh. 
At this point he proceeded to cry until I fed him
3:15 - E
Completely OT now
3:45 - S
4:45 - Awake, play, bath
5:45 - E
6:30 - Asleep

I think I'd like to have him get up at 6:30 and go to bed at 6:30.  That would allow me time to get ready for the day, get Luke ready for school, etc. and then have time with Luke in the evenings. 

One thing I'm trying to figure out is how to tweak the schedule to allow for dropping off and picking up from school.  We leave the house at 8:30, get home at 9 and then we leave again at 2ish and get home about 2:30ish on Mon/Wed and we leave at noonish and get home a little after 12:30 on Friday.

Can ya help a girl out?

[Critter]

I'd like to add that he woke up at 7:30 to eat again and went right back down.

[* Paula *]

It is hard to get them on a really predictable routine when you are dropping and picking up from school.  We had the same problem when Abi was really small.

What I did was, when she woke at like 5:00ish, I would feed her (treating it as a night feed) and put her right back down back to sleep.

This would then give me a chance to get Tom up at around 7:30 ish and get him ready for school, fed and dressed.  By 8:00 Abi would be awake for her next feed.  She would feed and would be awake unitl 9:00ish which was perfect for us as she would fall asleep in the car while I dropped Tom off at nursery.  I parked right by the gate / door of the nursery, so could leave her in the car, while I dropped Tom off.  Said our goodbyes at the door and went straight back to the car.

I would leave her in the car seat for her first nap and she would generally nap great, and then would wake her for her next feed.

I did the same with the afternoon feed, and as her A time increased the school run did not interferre with her naps as much.

Looking at your routine, it looks good and see that he naps well in the AM with 1 hour A time.  The second A time was pushed to 1.5 hours and this is where the 30 minute nap came in and is probably where the OT'ness started.  I would probably aim for 1.25 hours A time for the second and rest of the A times and see how he goes.  Also if he has a shorter nap, I would shorten the A times accordingly.

I would say that it is not uncommon for them to want to feed every 2.5 hours to 3 hours during the day.  And if after a good nap like you had in the morning, it is fine to feed him after only 2.5 hours.  As his A time gets a bit longer, his nap will generally end at the next E time.

Hope this helps a bit 

I have missed catching up with you too.  Promise I will make more of an effort.

[Critter]

I'm beginning to realize that as much as I'd like him to stay awake longer than 1 hour, it just isn't going to happen yet!!!  Here's today, so far

(Last night he woke up at midnight and 4 for feeds)

7:00 - Awake and E
8:15 - S ~ about the same time as yesterday
10:00 - E
11:00 - S ~ about the same time as yesterday
11:40 - Awake and very fussy
12:00 - E
rested in his crib with some fussiness, but not nearly as bad as 11:40-12 until I got him out at 1:00
1:45 - S
2:30 - E
3:00 - started yawning, so I put him in his bed
3:30 - S ~ about the same time as yesterday

Hopefully he'll be able to extend that 11:00 nap until closer to 12:30.  I think he'd be a much happier little guy.

Luckily there's a carpool lane and I never even have to get out of the car for drop-off and pick up.  It's so nice!  The teachers come and get them out of the car, so I can put Clay in his carseat for his naps at those times, I suppose.


What do you think about trying a dream feed tonight? I'd like to try one, but I don't want to mess with too many variables at once.  KWIM?

[* Paula *]

You can definitely try the DF, but would try it for at least a week to ensure that it is working or not working.

Try to do it as close to 10pm as possible. 

Good luck.  Keep us posted on how you get on.

[Critter]

I did the DF last night at 10.  He woke up at midnight for his paci but then slept until 3.  Fed him at 3.  He woke at 5 and 6, took paci both times and slept until 7:30.

Drumroll please....
Today he's gone 3 hours between feedings.  HALLELUJAH!  I've decided that I was feeding him when I really should have been trying to extend his naps.  Today he woke up at the 40/45 minute mark at all naps, but he'd resettle eventually and sleep, making it about 2 hrs of sleep time total.  Hopefully he'll learn to extend those naps.  We even tried for an outing.  Poor guy just can't stay awake very long and was so tired when we got home.  All we did was run out for some lunch.  It's Luke's spring break and he's so tired of being cooped up in the house, but I need this week when we  have nowhere to go to get Clay on track.

Here's what today looks like so far:

7:30 - E
8:30 - S
9:15 - A - took him out of his room and after 20 min ye yawned, so I put him back in his bed and he was asleep by 10
10:00 - S
11:00 - E
12:15 - S
1:00 - A - left him in his crib and pat/sh'd, gave paci, and turned on his aquarium.  Eventually fell back asleepby 1:30
2:00 - E
3:15 - S
4:00 - A - resettled him a few times
4:30 - E
5:30 - in crib for catnap, but I don't think he's going to take it.  I'd rather get him out, give him his bath, feed him and put him to bed.

[* Paula *]

Fantastic news Amy  Insert the purple hippo here 

Fantastic that the naps have gone so well.  I know it is easier said than done, but have you tried staying in his room while he naps to help him transition into the next phase of sleep? 

I must admit with Abi, that it worked better if we left her to settle herself.  Unless she was crying that is.  If she woke up she would babble an then settle herself back to sleep.

I am so pleased that he slept so well for you today.

Keep us posted.

[Critter]

Ok, so I feel like it's one step forward and two steps back.  We get things almost set and then he has a wacky night.  His nights are all over the place, which throws off his wake time.  When his nights were somewhat consistent he'd wake at the same time, or close to it, and I could have a little more predictability in my day.

The good news is that he's on a 3 hour EASY, or occasionally EASAS.

The bad news is that his nights are all over the place.  He slept through the night once and it threw everything off.  LOL.  If his NW were at least at the same time every night I could deal with it, but last night he was up every 2 hours for one reason or another.  Poopy pants, paci fell out, and 2 feedings. 

What's a mama to do?

[* Paula *]

Hugs hun,

Do you think he could be going through a growth spurt?

Have you kept a log of what your days have looked like?

[Critter]

After today I think that might be what is happening.  He barely made it 2 1/2 hrs between feedings today and that was because I stretched him.  Ugh...just when I get it figured out!

[* Paula *]

Hugs hun, hope he comes through the GS quickly.

Keep us posted

[Critter]

So, here's what has happened 2 days in a row...and that's a record 

(Keep in mind that I have to go in at least once to replace his paci in all naps)

6:45 - Wake and eat
8:00 - Sleep
8:40 - Awake
9:45 - Eat
10:00 yawning and put in bed
10:30 - Sleep
11:45 - Wake - v. unhappy!
12:30 - eat
1:00 - sleep
1:30ish - wake
2:30 - eat
2:45 - yawning, rubbing eyes, etc, so I put him in his crib
3:00 - asleep

He's been asleep for almost an hour.

It seems that his "good" naps are at the 10:30 and 3:00 naps.  I just think he can't really stay awake long enough to make it between those two times.  KWIM?  Tomorrow should I try keeping him awake after he wakes up at noon until closer to 2?

This rocket science!  I swear if I hadn't had such an easy time getting Luke on EASY (LOL) I would have given up a long time ago.

[* Paula *]

I would probably aim for about 1.5 hours max, I am thinking keeping him up until closer to 2pm is going to make him extremely OT.

I know what you mean.  TomTom was a dream to get onto routine, but Abi  was just so much harder.  I think it is cause 2nd time round we know so much more KWIM?