Only 1 NW - but long, ugly, screaming NW

[aimeeL]

I've been posting on the Props board, because I just weaned my 5 mo old LO from the paci cold turkey... but a new issue has cropped up - that perhaps has to do with the weaning?? - but perhaps has to do with something else, too... so thought I'd post hear and see what you thought.

Pre-paci-weaning, Liana was waking up SEVERAL times at night to be replugged... she usually slept solidly from about 8 p.m. (bedtime) to 1-2 a.m.... at that point, the replugging would begin.. I'd usually feed her once at about 3 (on a good night)... and then the rest of her sleep - till 7:30 a.m. - would be fairly restless, with lots of replugging.  SINCE weaning her from the paci, the sleep she is getting seems to be much more sound and solid - which is great, of course - but she's waking up around midnight - 1 a.m. and screaming.  Loudly.  For 1-2 hrs. 

We started the paci-weaning on Friday, and the first few nights, it became apparent that she'd gotten into some habitual waking that I hadn't realized earlier because the paci was so handy... so we tried 3 nights of w2s... the first night was very successful - DH did w2s at 12:30 (she'd been waking at 1:30) and she slept through that and went 9 hrs that night between feeds.. Since then, however, she's now waking AT 12:30 a.m... and it starts out as just some mantra crying, but then escalates into real crying.  I try doing PU/PD and shh/pat....but neither really work.  I think when she finally goes to sleep, it's out of sheer exhaustion from having screamed for 2 hrs.  Last night, she woke at 12:30 and didn't go to sleep until close to 3 a.m.  This was after having eaten at 9 p.m, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't hunger.

I'm not sure what to do.  She screams and arches her back while in the co-sleeper, but once you pick her up, the crying stops almost immediately and becomes just...complaining.  But as soon as you put her down and start "trying" to get her to go to sleep, she screams again.  It's like she knows we're trying to get her to sleep and she very stubbornly does NOT want to.

Any thoughts?  I'd say the paci-weaning has been a success except for this *small* 2 hr hiccup.     If we could get rid of it, I'd be thrilled. 

[aimeeL]

A couple more thoughts...

1)  She's going down GREAT for her 2 naps... put her down, 30 secs of mantra crying, and that's it - 2 hrs of sleep.

2)  DH is wanting to let her CIO...which we're both really against, but his reasoning is that she's specifically resisting US.  The screaming gets louder and angrier whenever we try to intervene - either with a hand on her, or shh-ing, etc.  Like I said, I think when she finally DOES go to sleep, it's more out of exhaustion than anything successful we're doing.  All of a sudden, she just stops, sighs, and stares blankly for a long time.. and then falls asleep.

Okay - think that's it..  Thanks!

[aimeeL]

Aw shucks - thanks!!  We felt VERY guilty about weaning her from the paci because everyone kept telling us she was too little...

Yes - you have it right about the co-sleeper..As for the lovey, she has a little bear and some lightweight burpcloths in there that she sometimes holds on to, but doesn't seem terribly attached to either...

E/A:  7:30-8-ish am
S:  10:00 a.m.

E/A:  12:00 pm
S:  2:00 pm

E/A:  4:00 p.m.
Sometimes a catnap here...

E:  6 pm (I like to cluster feed instead of DF...LO didn't do well with DFs...)

E:  8 p.m. - and straight to sleep...

Thx for looking at this!

[aimeeL]

Hmmm...okay - so you think it's potentially OT that's causing the ugly NW?  Tonight probably won't be a good gauge of it, either, because she had a terrible 2nd nap - 1/2 hr, I think - but a long catnap - 1 hr.  Anyways - will see how it goes... thanks!

[aimeeL]

Okay - here's another question..   Last night went decently... no horrid NW, but instead, she needed just a little help settling several times in the night... She'd start to fuss just a bit, and I laid my hand on one of her arms - and she'd settle right back down to sleep.  Do you think I should just let her fuss it out?  I don't want to be a prop... nor do I want this to replace the replugging-every-hour... but I guess my biggest worry is that if I leave her alone, the fussing will get worse, and she'll get to a point where - instead of settling herself down - she'll NOT be easily settled... and then it will be ugly again. =)

Will work on getting good naps and a catnap in today, though.. and see if that makes a difference as well.

[clazzat]

Could it be teething?  Might not have anything to do with it, but it could be worth thinking about.  Perhaps you could try giving her calpol to see if that helps her settle.
Cx

[aimeeL]

Yup - how right you are... it absolutely COULD be teething... she's been gnawing away and drooling for the last few wks, but just here in the last couple of days, she's had a low grade fever and has seemed fussier than normal.. I hear, though, that that doesn't mean teeth are right around the corner....but this is just part of the process??? Ughh....

Jay3 - Thanks so much for your help through all of this... I think when we get back from our trip (leaving for Utah in a couple of days) I'll officially move her into the crib/nursery... have been putting her there for naps now, and that's going swimmingly... Mostly haven't done it due to sentimentality (going to miss seeing that little fat face right next to my bed) and laziness (SO much easier to settle when she's right next to me as opposed to having to get up and walk down the hallway to her room!! .. 

Last night wasn't great... had several bad NWs in the course of just a couple of hrs... but once she was done with that at around 12:30 a.m., she slept soundly until 5:45 am.! - which meant she'd gone 10 hrs between feeds... So we're doing good in that arena - if only we could get rid of the ugly 2 hrs in the middle...

Today, we've been a bit off schedule because of church and such, so her 2nd nap was a little later - and longer - than normal... She woke up at 5:40 p.m... so I think I'm going to put her down around 7:45 p.m. with a feed, and then try a DF at around 10:30-ish..... and see what that does...  Will keep you posted...

[clazzat]

You're right - teething is a loooong process!  We have had months of drooling, gnawing, chewing etc.  She got her first teeth a month ago, but the "teething" didn't stop.  Calpol helps enormously, though, so you should dose her up if you think that could be it.
Cx

[aimeeL]

So I'm in the middle of a long cry myself right now... and what better place to be for some hugs, right?     I'm feeling rather pathetic at the moment, so please excuse the self-pitying....

I don't know what to do... so Liana just cried for 2 hrs.  And it's 3:45 a.m.  The time of night when the world is at its darkest.   She started fussing at about 1:30 a.m... and it was more just complaining and mantra crying so I let it go, rather than step in and put pressure on one of her arms, which almost immediately calms her down.  But Jay3 - I didn't!... you would've been proud.   I let it go on....and on....and on... she would get really quiet... and then the complaining would start up again... and this repeated itself for about an hour.. She was trying really hard to put herself back to sleep..  But then right at about the hour, the complaining escalated into real crying.  So I started shh-patting... and then it got worse.  The out-of-control kind of worse.  So this led to some PU/PD and more shh-patting... I started holding down her arms, which would help a little, but by then, she was so OT that she'd get quiet for awhile, then start screaming again.  Finally, right at around 3:30 a.m., in her flailing about, she found her thumb.  And is sucking away peacefully at the moment. 

Which is right about when I started crying.     I feel like I'm totally ruining this child.  We've NEVER had this middle-of-the-night problem... and here we are, 8 straight nights of it... did I do the wrong thing with the paci-weaning?!?!?  Met a friend at church today who is trying to get her 5 mo old ON the paci... and looked at me like I was crazy when I told her we were weaning Liana off of it.  I THOUGHT this was the right thing to do.... all those inspiring paci-weaning success stories made me think that this was definitely the way to go to better nights...  And am feeling so frustrated because I think we're WORSE off than before.  So either the paci addiction was much stronger than I thought (i.e., we were using it as a crutch LOTS more in the night than I thought) or we've been doing something wrong this whole last week.... 

I've been trying so hard to get good naps and a catnap in during the days so that she's not OT at night... but it's SO HARD to have a PERFECT day... YKWIM??  I feel like even if all of my energies and brain cells and time and effort goes into MAKING SURE SHE GETS GOOD NAPS - it can still fail - something happens - she wakes early from a nap, and poof - there goes my chance of a not-OT night. 

So I don't know... maybe I've become the prop... and tomorrow night just needs to be really, REALLY ugly.  As if these past few haven't been bad enough.   

Okay - sorry for the long post... feel slightly better now.. and must get back to bed. 

[clazzat]

(((hugs))) I know how hard it is when you are up in the middle of the night with a screaming child.  I had a very similar thing with dd2 when we were trying to cut out the nighttime feed, and I found myself thinking that I had caused the screaming.  We had one night when she screamed for 3.5 hours solid - and I burst into tears on my friend in the coffee shop the next day!  You're not doing the wrong thing - if she is addicted to the paci then it would become a problem at some point.  It is best to do it now rather than when you have had months of multiple night wakings because she is looking for the paci.  It sounds like she has found her thumb now - as she gets more used to her thumb instead of the paci she will be more settled overnight.

Oh, and there's no such thing as a perfect day!  It sounds like you are absolutely doing a great job, and you are giving her the very best shot at sleeping well. 

I hope that you are feeling better this morning.  (((more hugs)))
Cx

[aimeeL]

Thank you SO much for the much-needed support and encouragement... Thank heavens for a MUCH better night last night.  We did get a catnap in in the evening - that she surprising went down very easy for!... so am going to keep trying harder to put that in.  Anyways - only one real NW last night at around 4 a.m. - she mantra cried and complained for about 20 min before it started escalating... at which point I helped her find her thumb by guiding her hand up... she didn't fight at ALL, but just got super quiet, started sucking, and that was that....that's probably cheating a bit by not letting her do it completely on her own, but it worked and she slept for another 2.5 hrs before waking to eat... so not bad at all.

Thank you, THANK YOU and will continue to keep you posted as to our progress!

[aimeeL]

YAYYYYYYYY!  GREAT night last night... had a good long catnap, due to short 2nd nap... went to bed at 8 p.m., DF at 10 p.m. - and then up at 5:40 a.m. for a feed, and finally up at 7:30 a.m.  I heard a couple of snuffles from her throughout the night, but she settled herself quickly....

SOOOOOOO excited about the good night.  Must be that catnap, JAY3...  Here's hoping it continues while we're away on our trip...!