15 month old with nap issues?

[becky1969]

In order to get the PM nap she's going to HAVE to shorten the nap.  Ask her to just try it for 3 days! If it doesn't work, she can do what she wants.  But shorten to 45 minutes -- and maybe 30 min-- and voila, a PM nap should be back.  3 hours between naps is pretty standard when you're working with a 30 min AM nap.

This is all VERY normal and common during 2-1 transition.  So trust me on shortening the nap! Bribe your mom with baked goods to just try it on a short-term basis! Maybe a food rub will get the job done? That always works with my mom! 

[Evilmena]

I'll do my best but she's been following my lead and then he goes and doesn't nap so now she says she's going to do it her way...yet she doesn't notice that when I did intervene and stretch him he was starting to sleep longer than 30min. in like forever!!

So he woke up at 6:45 am (went to bed at 6:30pm last night) and I told her to put him down at 10:30am...she put him down at 10am and he woke up at 11am.  Now she's going to try at 2 or 3pm, we'll see what happens.  I honestly don't think she'll wake him, as much as I ask, she won't do it.  I'll have to do it on the weekend when I'm home and make it stick hopefully.

So if we shorten to 30min. that *should* make a 2nd nap happen and is it expected to be longer?  And the A time is 3 hours in between as you said.  So what happens from there, do we continue to shorten that 1st nap or done in conjunction with stretching it will just fade out?

[Evilmena]

So, again he fought the afternoon nap and tonight woke up after 40 minutes of sleep crying and freaking and wouldn't calm down until I put on Bob the Builder!  lol  He did this on Monday too (wakeup).  Whenever he does this he won't settle so I have to take him out the room and distract him but still quietly, and after about 15-20 minutes I put him back down.  He cries for a few seconds then passes out.  Could these be linked to the no nap in the PM?  He also wouldn't eat much dinner (other than fruit) so in order to try again later he didn't actually get to bed until 7pm - so he'd been up since 11am I guess?  I told my mom next time don't bother, he eats what he eats just put him to bed early.  I've also told her she's going to have to wake him after 30/45 minutes.  She's convinced she should be putting him down sooner??  I think she may listen to me about the wakeup though, we'll see what happens.

How could we go from several glorious days of a long nap to this??  I know, no one gets out of the 2 to 1 switch unscathed...I was hoping though! 

[Evilmena]

Update - he woke up at 6:30am this morning and fell back asleep as I didn't hear him and I heard him again at 7:15am.  My mom put him down at 10:45am as he was tired and actually woke him up before 11:30am...she didn't want to go in his room to do it as he gets frightened but instead she ran the vacuum upstairs - he still woke up crying but I imagine it was a little less scary.

So I've told her to put him back at 2:30pm to see what happens.

Does this seem right?  That gives him 3 hours of A time before the PM nap.  What's next?? 

Update:  She put him down at 2:30pm he was quiet for 1/2 hour then he chatted for a bit and then he seemed quiet for another half hour.  Ugh, I really wish I was home to handle this.  So at least he slept this time, just not for very long.

[becky1969]

So he had a 45 min AM nap? if he has 45 minutes you might try 3.5 hours A time and see what happens.

Yes, the waking in the night is because no Pm nap and OT.  I'd be careful about showing him a vid when he wakes like that as he'll start making it a habit; plus, an exposure to videos like that can more fully wake him than you'd like.  YOu can absolutely take him out of the room to calm him, but I'd probably just take him into another darkened room.  I've had an inconsolable son too, so understand if a lighted room is all he wants.  I'd just be really cautious about giving him TOO much fun when that happens! 

Yes, limiting AM nap should bring PM nap back and we expect it to be 1.5-2 hours in length.

[Evilmena]

Okay, we'll keep trying the limiting of the AM nap and see what happens.  And I'll tell her to extend his A time as well.

Of course he woke up screaming again after 45 minutes of putting him to bed.  I took him out and he was calmed a lot better this time and 10 minutes later I brought him back in and he's out.  I only tried Bob the Builder yesterday because NOTHING would calm him which is quite rare.  I also knew the longer it took to calm him, the longer it would take to put him back down.  But I do agree I don't want it to become habit forming.  And funny I was just thinking to myself last week how awesome it's been that he hasn't awaken like that in a long time and then boom!  3 times since Monday and it's Thursday night.

So he cried again in the middle of the night and as I lay still hoping beyond hope that he would stop he did after a few minutes.  I heard him briefly at 6:15am and then he didn't wake until 7:50am.  So I told mom to put him to bed close to noon unless he looked really tired upon which she is to call me to make the decision.  Maybe this will be a 1 nap day...and a good long 1 nap day, one can only hope!

Another update:  she put him to bed at 11:30am saying he seemed tired before then - my niece is also over so he has a playmate - and he woke up 30 minutes later....oy.  Okay, so now I told her to put him down at 3 or 3:30pm...we'll see what happens.

[becky1969]

Ah dear.  The trying for 1 and getting a 30 minute nap happens a lot during this stupid 2-1 transition.  I hope he takes the 2nd nap! There's a good chance since he only slept 30 min. We'll keep our fingers crossed!

lOL, I've often thought my son could read my mind and you've proved it! All you have to do is *think* about how they don't do a certain thing anymore and BAM! They do it!    They're tricky little buggers!

[Evilmena]

So she put him down at 3:30pm and he slept for *maybe* 30 minutes...then I put him down for the night before 7:30pm and he chatted quietly on and off for about an hour.  Then he was out and he awoke at 6:30am this morning and chatted to himself until I went in there after 7am.

He had his first nap at 10:30 and woke up at 11am exactly.

I just don't get this...I changed his schedule and he had literally a couple of good days of sleep that he hasn't had in months but since then it seems everything's gotten worse - he's getting up earlier and earlier, his naps are getting even worse than they were before - which I didn't think was possible - and he's waking after being put down...is this all normal??  I kinda preferred him on his 6-7 month schedule.   

[becky1969]

Since he only took a 30 min nap, put him down for 2nd nap after 3 hours.  We WANT him to have a 30 min AM nap! Don't fret about that!! Now let's see what he does in the PM.  We pretty much knew yesterday that PM nap was a crap shoot, so that doesn't surprise me.  And the chatting for an hour/waking early is because he's so severely OT from lack of daytime sleep.  No surprise there either!

What we need to do is get consistent about short AM nap and 3 hours later trying for longer PM nap.  If we can get in that groove, nights/EWs will improve.  He's 15 months, so we're going to be in the 1 nap zone really soon and that's also pretty up/down.  Believe me, you're not the only parent who hates this stage! It is AWFUL! We had terrible NWs for about 2 months while my son was transitioning -- either he didn't get enough sleep during the day, or too much, and it was frustrating! But in another month or so you guys will be firmly in 1 nap land and things just get better from there.  Remember, this is only temporary. 

[Evilmena]

Thanks again for the tips...so I put him down at 1:50pm and he was pretty quiet for about 10 minutes then he started chatting and didn't fall quiet again until 2:45...it's 3:15pm now and he's still sleeping so we'll see how long this goes.  Does this mean he wasn't tired yet?  It's funny though, because when I give him the cues "it's time for baby naps" he starts to whimper but instantly he starts rubbing his eyes and ears!  haha

Strange thing also is that if I had put him down later he might not have slept at all...maybe he just needed that quiet wind down time?  Why is this so difficult...why do some people have children who just know how to sleep, who don't follow a schedule, who've never done 30 minute naps whether they're UT, OT or whatever.  All children are not created equal...this just makes me hope that my reward for this spirited one is an angel one next!   

Update:  so he cried out at the 40 minute mark and then promptly fell back asleep and woke up after a total 1 hour and 15 minute nap.

So??

[Evilmena]

No wakeups last night - yay!!  And he woke up at 8am today (nice for mommy and daddy!) so I figured it might be a one nap day...I put him down just before noon and less than an hour later he's awake!  I probably should have given him lunch before the nap but we were out so he was snacking instead - that *may* have allowed him to sleep longer but who knows.

So now do I even bother trying again?  I can't very well put him down at 5pm right?  Should I just try an early bedtime instead?

Update:  I skipped a late nap and instead I've put him to bed at just after 6pm...well, he woke up crying about 40 minutes later, a few minutes to soothe out of the room and he's out for the night.  We'll see how early he wakes.

[becky1969]

Hope the night went OK! I think you put him down too early.  I probably wouldn't have put him down for a nap until around 1 with an 8 am waking.

I know it's frustrating -- I hear about those kids who never take 30 min naps too.  Honestly? I think it's a myth.  Sure there are some kids who sleep well no matter what.  But they are RARE! I think more often mommies exaggerate how well their kids sleep. 

You guys are getting so close to the 1 nap day! Just expect things to be uneven for awhile -- some success days and some failure days.  That's normal and natural! But as the days/weeks progress your successes will outnumber your failures at a greater rate.

P.S. I think you did the right thing going for early bedtime instead of late catnap, which he probably wouldn't have taken anyway! 

[Evilmena]

Really, so you would have put him down at 1pm?  That would be 5 hours awake time...guess I can try it if it happens again.

He didn't wake again last night...it's the weirdest thing but he will only ever wake up once and it's usually within 30min - 1 hour of going to bed.  And then he's soothed within 10-15 min. and out for the night.

He awoke at 7:15/7:30am and mom put him down at 11am and he slept just over an hour.  Maybe it's time to extend again?  Should I try for 4.25 or 4.50 A time?

He's getting really close to that noon time!!!  Now if he would just nap an extra hour!!

She put him down for his 2nd nap at 3:45pm and he slept for 45 min.

[becky1969]

Boy, you guys are getting close!

Try 4h15 first.  Better to go slow.  And I'd leave him there for 2-3 days before trying to extend again.  You guys are REALLY close to 1 nap nirvana! Also, it can take a week or more for them to take longer than an hour nap once you *do* move to 1 nap.  As you can imagine, their body expects a 2nd nap since that's what they've had their whole little life! So it takes adjustment time.  I was so scared my guy would never sleep more than 1h/1h10! But sure enough after a week he started sleeping 1.5, and then another month after that we started getting 2h (I think he just needed some more time to grow into his A time).  Now at age 3 it isn't uncommon for him to sleep 2.5 or even 3h! So it *does* get better.

Yes, I would have stretched him because he woke so late a 2nd nap was going to be impossible.  So, better to make that one and only nap as late as possible just in case he short-napped because then bedtime isn't TOO far away.

[Evilmena]

Okay, so he didn't wake last night - I can usually tell by the day if he will and he seemed fine but he did talk on and off again.  He awoke at 7:15am and mom put him down at 10:30am...I had told her to put him down at 11:30am but he was pretty quiet and subdued today and due to the weather (raining) she didn't feel she could stretch him and he seemed really tired so he slept 1.5 hours.  Hmm..bet if he had gone down at 11:30am he woulnd't have slept that long!  The science in this confuses me!  haha

I told her to try again at 3:30am the earliest, more like 4pm if he naps at all, otherwise earlier bedtime.  Maybe tomorrow we can give the stretch a go.

Update:  He of course wouldn't sleep in the PM but after 1.5 hours I don't blame him.  He obviously really needed it today.  Okay, so back on track...she should be waking him after 30 min. in AM!