2-1 switch now having nap refusals - UPDATE - refusing bedtime now

[marensmama]

Hayden is just shy of 18 months old.  She was getting close to the 2-1 switch about two months ago, our problem was EW, so we cut down her morning nap to 30 minutes (and man, did she HATE to be woken up!) and that worked well in eliminating the EW.  Her afternoon nap was generally 1.5-2 hours.  Then we went to Disneyland for a week, where she would only nap in the sling and only for 30 minutes 2x a day.  She was pretty OT by the time we got home, but was super happy.  Then we ended up with the cold from hell and she got a urinary tract infection, and since she was so under the weather I've been letting her sleep as long as she wanted for both naps.  She generally would sleep 1-1.5 hours in the morning and 1.5 - 2 hours in the afternoon, and have a 12 hour night.  Yesterday she was unhappy when I put her down for both naps, kicking and screaming, crying, "No nap, no nap!" and "Mama!" - although she did go down easily after I finally got her grobag on her, and slept for the usual amounts.  Bedtime was not an issue, she had a 13 (!!) hour night.

So today, she pulled the same shenanigans when I put her down for her morning nap, but settled once I zipped her in to the grobag and slept for 1.25 hours.  But this afternoon, she flatly refused to nap, freaked out when I tried putting her in the crib, screaming, crying, kicking, the whole bit.  I took her out, did some low-key activity, tried again 30 minutes later, same deal.  Tried again, another 30 minutes later, freakout ensues.  At 5:30, she's way OT and asks to have a nap, but she's a spirited/touchy girl and by the time she asks to go to sleep and I get her jammies on, meds given, and teeth brushed, she's full-on ticked off.  I actually had to pat/shh her for a few minutes before she was calm enough for me to leave the room.  She was asleep by 6:10. 

We have plans for tomorrow to be out at lunch time and in the early afternoon, so I guess I'll try a 30 minute nap in the morning and then hopefully she won't refuse the afternoon nap.  Presuming she doesn't refuse and has decent nights, should I just switch to one nap (and give two naps on alternating days for awhile if she needs it)? 

[*Natasha*]

Funny i was just thinking about you today and how it was going.
WOW 18months and still having 2 naps i am impressed.
My opinion is to stick to 30min morning nap and when she starts refusing the afternoon nap after that short nap in the morning then you will probably have to go for 1 nap.

[marensmama]

Thanks guys.  I know my DCP can't put her down at 12:00 for a nap since she's got to get all the kids eating lunch and then cleaned up for nap... so I guess maybe the 30 minute morning nap at daycare is best and then on the days she's home try for one nap and see how she does.  I can't stand to wake her so I'll let the DCP deal with that! 

[*Natasha*]

Sounds like a great plan 

[marensmama]

OK, so now we have serious bed time refusals.  We've been away since Wednesday.  It was a long road trip, so Hayden ended up having two naps that day, and then was up so late that I made the mistake of putting her down for two naps the following day (but short, and she didn't sleep past three pm) and the same thing happened that night.  She cried and screamed every time we went near the playpen.  Finally, my DH took over and rocked her to sleep.  The same thing happened the next night.  The next day, I put her down for a nap at noon (she'd been up since 7 am after a 10 hr night) but she only slept for an hour and a half.  I tried putting her down that night at 6;30, but she screamed and fought it until 7:30 when DH rocked her to sleep.

We were on the road for many hours today and she had three 30 minute naps, it couldn't be helped.  Tonight, Steve once again had to rock her to sleep.   I tried just PD for about 20 minutes but she was so worked up that she made herself throw up a little and she wouldn't even look at me.    So Steve took over and rocked her to sleep in 5 minutes.  I was really calm and trying not to take it personally, but in retrospect, it was so sad.

So what do I do now?

[*Natasha*]

It will probably take her a few days to get back into things at home again, also sounds like you are dealing with some SA. Have you tried WI/WO or GW instead of PD?
HUGS 

[marensmama]

I was just doing some reading about SA and how it can show up again at this age... possibly precipitated by us being away and all sleeping in the same room for four nights, I guess.  So, yes, I think because she was a good independent sleeper until these past few nights, WIWO is a good choice.  I'll try that tomorrow.  I thought of doing that, since I'm no PD expert, but she's in a grobag and can fall easily when she stands up in her crib, so I didn't want to go too far away IYKWIM.  She is also teething, so I should remember to give her some pain relief before bed too, even though it's not disrupting her sleep once she actually goes down.  Poor thing.  We had it so good for so long with her sleep!

[*Natasha*]

How was yesterday?

[marensmama]

Well today we aimed for 1 nap... but she fell asleep for 10 minutes in the morning in the car.  I put her down at 1:30, she stood up and started to fuss, I handed her a stuffy (she's never had a toy in her crib) and told her I'd be there when she woke up.  Then I left the room and she cried for about a minute, but was settling as opposed to escalating, iykwim, and then she laid herself down and slept for 1.5 hours.  It's only 4 pm here now, so I don't know what tonight will be like in terms of her refusal, but I'm happy overall with the nap. 
I'll update after bedtime! 

[*Natasha*]

Good luck keeping fingers crossed for you 

[marensmama]

Tonight went well, actually!  She stood up again, as soon as I put her in her crib and started to cry.  I told her I loved her and that it was time to go sleepies and then I shut the door.  She fussed for less than a minute and went to sleep.  YAY!    So tomorrow I'll have my DCP put her down as soon after lunch as she can, and hopefully that'll be it for 2 nap days. 

[*Natasha*]

That is great sounds like she was really ready for that 1 nap hope it continues for you 

[marensmama]

Well today she is teething and was miserable all day (at daycare ).  She ended up going down at 1:00 for 45 minutes and then spent the next 45 minutes fussing every 10 minutes or so.  I picked them up at 5:15 and we rushed through dinner to get her into bed by 6:00.  She went to bed without a peep, but she also had a fever of 102 and was SOOOO ready to be in bed, she was just about falling asleep while drinking her sippy of milk at dinner - she never ate anything, poor babe.

Stacy when you gave Kaleb the 10-15 minute nap did you just take him for a car ride or did you put him down for it in his crib?  Hayden would be mad for the rest of the day if I woke her up, but if she's in the car she's happy upon waking.

[*Natasha*]

HUGS poor little thing